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Is it okay to quit my nanny job?

I am a college student home for the summer and I work as a nanny for two children, ages 4 and 5. I nannied last summer and have babysat since I was 12 or 13, and was used to working 9-5 pm. With this job, I am expected to work 8-6 or 6:30 pm. I feel as though I am being underpaid for my hours, as it boils down to $5 an hour per child for the week with the hours I work. A couple of times, the parents have asked me to stay later but have not paid me any additional money. The children can be extremely challenging. They have difficulty listening and cooperating (ie: putting away toys, turning off the television, eating their food) and do not respond to any type of discipline. This is frustrating, because any sort of discipline from me results in 10-15 minute temper tantrums that are not resolved until the child is given what they want. I am so exhausted from this job and it has been one month. I want to quit and find work elsewhere, but I am afraid this will cause backlash from the family. I understand it is inconvenient for them to find another nanny in the middle of summer, but I am at my wits end. I have never had a problem like this before, so I'm wondering is it acceptable for me to quit (while obviously giving a two weeks notice) or would this be in bad taste? I did not sign any sort of contract with them, but I still feel guilty. 

Answers

Hi,Communicate what you have written here.Let the parents know what is going on.I usually use T.V. as a reward. Turning on the T.V. is alot easier than turning off,(in my experience) Help them pick up toys making a game of who can pick up faster! Never reward a temper tantrum! Try to hang in there.Though, better to hand in a notice earlier than later. Tell them to start looking and you will stay until they find someone! Do they have relatives nearby who can help? Even though you did not sign a contract, this would be considered a verbal contract.

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Katie in Raleigh, NC
Aug. 10, 2018

Do not feel guilty, I'm sure we all have been in a situation like this. The thing is, you have to make sure the family is a good fit for you just as much as you are a good fit for them. Pay for your time is extremely important and even though I have no idea who you are, I know your worth more than $5 an hour Temper tantrums are always hard to deal with, but sometimes it's best to let them cool off, walk away to where you can make sure that they are still safe, and don't give them attention. When they have cooled off I ask that they would stand up, and look me in the eyes and explain why they were so upset. Normally with anything they were upset I try to explain to them that I know it's disappointing that they can't have or doing whatever they were wanting to do, but we need to find a different way of expressing that we're upset. Most of the time I try to use "we" instead of "you" so the child feels like were in it together. THen I ask for them to give me a hug and make sure they have completely calmed down. Kids are constantly dealing with a ton of feelings and most of the time have no idea what to do with them. Most children will act out of not getting attention from home. But you being a nanny you get to be there to teach the kids things. I would like to add if you ever have the blessing of working with a 2-year-old while they have temper tantrums, it's just the terrible 2's, don't take anything personally. Best of luck <3

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Angela in Nashua, NH
Aug. 14, 2018

DEPENT THE REASON

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I think you answered your own question. If your are exhausted and at your wits end and they aren't paying you what you are worth.....2 weeks notice time. If you Nanny in the future you may want to consider a contract outlining responsibilities, discipline and pay expectations so everyone is on the same page.

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Always do what is best for you. You come first.

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If you are unhappy with your job, it is acceptable to quit - with two weeks notice. As far as being underpaid, did you negotiate for your salary before you started? I would do that, and I would also request to be paid by the hour (and keep track). If you are paid by the day, or week, or month, then you don't have recourse to be paid more. As far as the discipline issue, I would ask to sit down with the parents, without the kids, and find out what their wishes and way of doing it are Why would you care if it is not convenient for them? And where would the backlash go - to possible new clients?

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User in Orlando, FL
Aug. 11, 2018

sure! you need to be happy and comfortable doing what you are doing

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Absolutely give notice, but with that kind of history I'd also include the reasons for giving notice. Things may not change for you buy they have a chance of improving for both the family and the next Nanny they hire.

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I would talk with both of the parents at the same time. Let them know the problems with them and the kids lay down the rules for both sides. explain your reasons why now rather then sooner. If you let thing keep going nothing will change.

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i would give a months notice, however make sure the parents know why you are quitting.

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I advise you always talk with the family about what you are feeling. That is how you can try to avoid leaving the job, cause they are there to be the parents for the kids. And they can help you out if the kids are not listening to you. Another way you can deal with that is be honest about your plans...it is a risk, but is a good way to both sides, like you say you are looking for another job and you would like to stay until you have one and then both sides can get ready for what is coming. The situation get a little better when you are very transparent and in some moment you start appreciating the good time together, cause you and them know it will endure for just a little bit more, and then we guys will start having fun together after the conversation...and with that, there is a huge chance to decide to stay and they will like you more for choosing them even when it was a turbulent moment.

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Hi! I am also a college student, and I can honestly say that I understand where you are coming from. You should respect yourself and your own needs and respectfully resign. You deserve compensation for your hard work, and if you feel that you are not receiving that compensation (and compensation is oftentimes more than just money! It could come in the form of generosity of the parents, connecting with the kids, playing with their pets, etc.), you need to quit. You deserve better! When you talk to the parents, emphasize that you are going to seek other opportunities for work, and that you are thankful for the time you have spent with them. Don't blatantly tell them "your kids are horrible." You sound level-headed; I'm sure you will be able to negotiate your resignation peacefully. The parents should understand your need as a college student to seek work elsewhere. You don't have to share with them the specifics if you don't want to. Remember to respect yourself, which means knowing your worth! You can do this!

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It is okay to quit any job as long as you give enough notice to your employee and allow them enough time to find a replacement.

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Kat in Norwalk, CA
Aug. 3, 2018

You should leave if your hearts not into. If you feel like your getting underpaid which seems like it then leave just give your 2 weeks notice.

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For starters, it is not your job at all in this life to please other people. Kids or adults. You are the only person that you will be forced to spend the rest of your life with. It is also not your job as a nanny or baby sitter to educate the children on how to act ie; tantrums and such. Though you may be able to teach them. You ARE being underpaid, and as such in my opinion. Need to think about your future and possibly your future kids and spouse. If you feel under appreciated or underpaid and have the opportunity to find a place you feel better in and or paid enough at. It could be considered your obligation to the future you or family that you will one day have. To live a fulfilling life for yourself so you can be ready for them. Your guilt simply shows you have a lot of compassion. Always remember that a parent should not get more lenience in things like this, but rather should have much more accountability. With great power comes great responsibility. Being a parent is a privilege but also shows great power to bring life into this world. Intern the guilt should be theirs. Not yours. I hope you was able to help even in the slightest. I recommend you give your notice if you feel you need to. Followed by finding a better fit for you. Hugs and Love Jerom

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you are young and could probably find another nanny job. It sounds a little like they are taking advantage of you by not paying you even though you stay extra, that is wrong. I would give my two weeks notice, there are plenty of others out there who need a good nanny.

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Wisconsin is an at-will state regarding employment. Legally you can walk off & not look back, but a notice would be good manners. It sounds like the parents really need YOU. Talk to them about your concerns & then make a firm decision. I never let my kids whine, so the tantrums are "learned" in that the parents allow it.

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QUIT girl it is not worth it that's a rip off they should charge you 10-15 per child

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Maya in Kearney, MO
Aug. 2, 2018

You can't stay in a situation like this. You need to confront the parents about your concerns and tell them that it's becoming too difficult for you to manage. They should understand and help you come to a solution, but if they don't you shouldn't feel any sort of guilt about getting out of there.

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yes they are being unfair to you just do it as politely as possible.

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The rate of pay depends on where you live, so if we live in different states obviously there will be a difference. (I am in CA) My base rate of pay for one child is $15 (negotiable, I have worked for as low as $12/hr in the past, but I had history with the family). Additional kids are an extra $2.50/hr, so 2 kids = $17.50, 3 = $20 per hour. If you're working additional hours, you need additional pay, unless you have an agreed upon weekly rate. But if you're paid hourly, you get those hours. As for the kids, if they're not listening to you and giving you a hard time you absolutely have the right to quit and find a new family. Just explain to the family that you don't think you're a good fit for the position and you think they would be better off finding someone more capable of handling the job. Don't expect to use them as a reference, but you can just explain to the future family that after working you realized it wasn't the right match for you and you wanted to keep looking for a family that felt right. You always will feel guilty, I've been nannying for 6 years and still hate leaving a family, regardless of the reason for leaving. Noting back to your rate of pay. Check out the care.com pay calculator, you can enter your information and it'll give you a basic idea for how much you should be earning. You can use that as you base pay and adjust it from there when it comes to additional kids, additional hours, and driving mileage reimbursement (usually like $0.50/mile driver while on the job) if you do transportation. Don't be afraid to stand your ground when it comes to your pay! You need to make a living, too. And while nannying can feel a little different because usually you become close with the families you work for, you are still and employee and they're still the employers who have to pay you for the hours you work. And if you don't feel the family is a good fit for you, move on. There are more families out there and you will find your fit. Good Luck!

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I think $5 an hour per child is reasonable, but I would definitely ask for more pay when you have to stay late. If you think you can muscle through the summer with this change, then maybe don't quit. Otherwise, if you feel that it's too overwhelming then I would quit!

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It is always ok to quit if you are being taken advantage of. I'd say either negotiate for more money or give them two weeks notice.

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Yes, it is your right to quit any job that you feel isn't working for you anymore. $5 per hour is illegal, and it is also illegal for them not to pay you for the overtime hours. You sound really burnt out, and your happiness is the most important. You could let them know in a polite way that you are moving on to other things, and need to quit. Any backlash from the family is unnecessary, especially after all you have done for them. Make sure you quit though, after they have paid you through the week so you avoid any type of missed payment. There are so many other families out there that will treat you right, and that you can build a great relationship with.

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Maybe some your issues can be resolved if you talked with the parents. If then there is no reasonable solution you may have to consider either quitting or finishing out the summer and find something else next summer.

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It is fine to give them a 2 week notice and let them know you found something else. If you are a good nanny, you should be paid more than that.

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Take care of yourself so that you can be a focused and fast thinking sitter. Give a notice for time to be replaced, letting the family know how you feel in a respectable way, disrespectful children are unacceptable. If you are already frustrated and exhausted, asking for an increase in pay wouldn't really help unless it motivates you to keep pushing. Hourly pay should incorporate every single responsibility you do. Undisciplined children may need a mother type sitter with experience from her own kids and jobs, to have a strong voice that they need to respect you.

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Talk to them about your pay first. If they get upset about it or disagree you are not bing treated and paid fairly then let them know kindly and calmly that they can start looking for a new nanny. Let them know what their child/children are doing and ask for them to talk to their child before you ask them to start looking for a new nanny. I am sure that if you remain calm whilke talking to them the outcome will be a lot better.

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I think it's important to voice the problems you're having before you quit. See if some change could be arranged between you guys.

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Talk to parents and ask their support, if no changes, 2 weeks notice. Do not accept $5 per hour, minimum $10.00 or $15.00

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Max in Amherst, OH
June 15, 2018

First of all-- five an hour is an illegal wage ANYWHERE in the states. Minimum wage in Ohio is $8.10 an hour-- for the C-Bus area, you should charge a minimum of 10-11 per hour. I would communicate your concerns with the family, because not only are they being disrespectful of your needs and time, they're obviously taking advantage of you. Just because you were being paid one rate as a pre-teen doesn't mean that rate should remain consistent throughout your life. You should sit them down and lay out some ground rules-- even write up a rudimentary contract stating what you're looking for in terms of summer hours, in pay, and what they should pay additionally if they're late. Also, if you work over forty hours, you should expect to be paid overtime wages. I know it can be a challenge to sit down with a family and speak about this sort of subject-- especially one you've been with so long. But what they're doing is irresponsible. If the job is STILL stressful, then start applying elsewhere. Give the family notice and let them know they need to search for a new caregiver. Out in C-Bus they have a company called College Nannies that they can try--or they can look for folks on Care. Either way, you need to do what's best for you. Not them.

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Hi Caroline, I agree with Mary. First communicate your concerns with the parents. Next time use the babysitting calculator to help come up with an appropriate rate of pay. Children respond well to games and rewards; so to get them to do what you ask make sure you reward them somehow and make the task sound as fun as possible. Hope that helps!!

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I"m a mommy and have a daugeth 2 years old, she is in the day care in the morning and i would like to find a babysitter in part time to me keep me busy, i would like to by paid 15 a 20 dollars a hours, i available to do different jobs around the house took love kids and i would like works with them because i have so fun take care them.

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Don't feel guilty. Do whats best for the kids and yourself.

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$12 for 2 is not too much with over time pay also. However it sounds like these kids and the parents have used up all of your patience. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get a different job and no reason not to! You will have it to add to your resume in the future also. Give the notice tell them 2 weeks or sooner if they find someone else. Your reason--You need a change and feel like the kids do too! Good Luck

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Sally in Syracuse, NY
June 15, 2018

I am certified with first aid, CPR and I have my Diiploma for my CDA. I have been a nanny for 3 years. I work in the schools district to. as a sub .

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-Consider being more firm with the children when you say no it should mean no. - Give them rewards/doing something fun after they finish doing something that you ask them to do first. - Consider asking their parents for your payment that I still owe you first. - Consider writing all the issues that you have with the parents and their children and ask them to read it or you can sit down with them and talk about it. Before you make your final decision. - You are entitled to feel the way do you now. Consider it as an learning experience and try to find a good way that you can resolve it and makes you happy.

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