As a key point of contact between families and their loved one, paid senior caregivers play an important role besides providing care: They must be good communicators in order to ensure a smoother, happier experience for the person receiving care, as well as their family.
Yet, communication isn’t always pleasant. Disagreements between family members, the care recipient and even caregivers themselves often fall on the caregiver to work out. But with your training and outsider’s perspective, you may also be the one best equipped to tackle issues that arise.
“It is the paid caregiver’s responsibility to decrease the stress by providing information within the scope of their training and credentials,” says Alicia Fenstermacher, corporate director of Community Life at Presbyterian Senior Living in Dillsburg, Pennsylvania.
Here are nine tips that you can use to keep the lines of communication open from day one.
1. Put the individual first
There shouldn’t be any question that your first responsibility as the paid caregiver is to the person you are providing care to.
“If an individual is able to make decisions for their own care, they should be honored, heard and empowered to do so,” Fenstermacher says. “If an individual cannot make all decisions and needs support, we should encourage them to make as many decisions as they can. For example, if an individual wants to wear pajamas to dinner, then they should… Encouragement, honor and respect will win most battles in the long term.”
“If an individual cannot make all decisions and needs support, we should encourage them to make as many decisions as they can.”
—Alicia Fenstermacher, corporate director of Community Life at Presbyterian Senior Living
2. Decide on a family point person
Attempting to communicate with multiple family members on a regular basis can set up discord. Star Bradbury of Senior Care Strategies in Gainesville, Florida, elaborates, “It never works to have numerous people giving various directions to the caregiver, some of which may be plain old confusing, or worse, conflicting. Nor is it fair to ask the caregiver to repeat information to multiple family members. It is also not their job to be liaison between family members.”
That said, Bradbury recommends that caregivers ask the family to choose who their point person is. And quite often, they will self-identify, she says.
3. Instill trust
Many communication issues can be solved simply by having a relationship built on mutual trust.
“Caregivers can instill trust in their patients and their families by being honest, dependable, prompt, caring, respectful and open to conversation,” Fenstermacher says.
4. Choose your preferred communication methods
It’s important that you discuss a family’s preferred method of communication early on, and be sure to ask what kind of information is most important to note.
“Depending on the care schedule, they could send a daily group text or maybe an update three times a week,” Bradbury says.
One example she offers: “With one family I know, the daily caregiver sent a quick text to the daughter every morning, as both a ‘time clock’ reassurance to the daughter that she was there, and a three to four sentence update about how mom was doing that day.”
5. Keep a care journal
Lakelyn Hogan, a gerontologist and caregiver advocate at Home Instead Senior Care, recommends caregivers keep a written record of activities.
“It can be helpful to have a care journal that everyone has access to,” she says. “The professional caregiver can keep a record of the care being provided and the family caregivers can review the journal regularly. This helps to create transparency and allows for better communication.”
“The professional caregiver can keep a record of the care being provided and the family caregivers can review the journal regularly.”
—Lakelyn Hogan, a gerontologist and caregiver advocate
6. Embrace technology
Tech tools like Skype, Zoom and Facebook make it easier than ever for families to communicate with their loved one and their caregiver.
“All of these programs allow for the family to see mom or dad and have both a sense of connection and a virtual feel for mom or dad’s real health condition or state of mind,” Bradbury says. “In a perfect world, this would be likely once a month and include all the family members.”
7. Watch your language
Caregivers should avoid using language that is full of aloof terms and medical jargon, Fenstermacher says.
“For instance, we wouldn’t use the word ‘ward’ to specify someone we are supporting and caring for,” she points out. “We would use the person’s preferred name. We wouldn’t talk about the clinical procedure of caring for a wound if the person listening does not have a full understanding of the anatomy and scope of a wound. We would be prepared to explain it so they understand the procedure, and might need to bring visual aids, such as a video or photo. We might need to demonstrate the care and have them in return demonstrate understanding.”
8. Set healthy boundaries
Although it’s natural to bond with someone you care for every day, it’s important for paid caregivers to maintain healthy boundaries with the families they work with.
“They have not lived the lives the family members have had with the individual,” Fenstermacher says. “They do not know the history and need to respect the history they do not know. They should not share their own personal biases or preferences.”
9. Call in a mediator
If disagreements get to a point where you feel unable to manage them, it’s a good idea to call in reinforcements. Look for mediators to help facilitate the conversation by contacting your local Area Agency on Aging or Bar Association.
