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The 40 Funniest Dog Jokes for Kids of All Ages!

Charlotte Latvala
Nov. 23, 2016

Here are 40 of the best dog jokes that'll get the whole family howling with laughter!

Image via unsplash.com/@braydona

Nothing's sweeter than the sound of your little ones' laughter. So here are the 40 best dog jokes out there that are guaranteed to get them -- and your whole family -- howling with laughter!

Q: Why are dogs like phones?

A: Because they have collar IDs!

 

Q: Why do dogs run in circles?

A: Because it's hard to run in squares!

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A: A collie-flower!

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?

A: A greyhound buzz!

 

Q: Why did the snowman name his dog "Frost"?

A: Because "Frost" bites!

 

Q: What dog keeps the best time?

A: A watch dog!

 

Q: Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?

A: A New Yorkie!

 

Q: Why is a tree like a big dog?

A: They both have a lot of bark!

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?

A: A cockerpoodledoo!

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?

A: A croaker spaniel!

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?

A: A golden receiver!

 

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?

A: Right where you left him!

 

Q: Why aren't dogs good dancers?

A: Because they have two left feet!

 

Q: What did one flea say to the other?

A: Should we walk or take a dog?

 

Q: Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?

A: Because you might step in a poodle!

 

Q: Why can't dogs work the DVD remote?

A: Because they always hit the paws button!

 

Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?

A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale!

 

Q: Why was the dog sweating so much?

A: She was a hot dog!

 

Q: What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought out her food?

A: Bone appetit!

 

Q: What do you call a great dog detective?

A: Sherlock Bones!

 

Q: How do fleas travel from place to place?

A: By itch-hiking!

 

Q:Which dog breed does Dracula love the most?

A: Blood hounds!

 

Q: What's a dog's favorite dessert?

A: Pupcakes!

 

Q: What kinds of stores do dogs love the most?

A:Re-tail stores!

 

Q: What's a dog's favorite kind of pizza?

A: Pupperoni pizza!

 

Q: Which dog breed chases anything that's red?

A: A bull dog!

 

Q: What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?

A: That's ruffffffff!!

 

Q: What's a dog's favorite instrument?

A: A trombone!

 

Q:What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal?

A: “That hit the spots!"

 

Q: What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?

A: A flea market!

 

Q: What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A CAT-tastrophy!

 

Q: What do you call a dog that's been out in the cold?

A: A pupsicle!

 

Q: What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?

A: Take the words right out of his mouth!

 

Q: Which breed of dog is the quietest?

A: A hush puppy!

 

Q: Which dog breed just LOVES bubble baths?

A: A shampoodle!

 

Q: What did the dog say to the flea?

A: Quit bugging me!

 

Q: What's a dog's favorite breakfast food?

A: Pooched eggs!

 

Q: Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?

A: He kept seeing spots!

 

Q: Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?

A: A Chi-ha-ha!

 

Q: What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school? 

A: Her pet-degree!

 

Joke Sources

 

Do you or your kids have any hilarious dog jokes that are guaranteed crowd-pleasers? Share them in the comments section below!

Comments
User in Los Altos, CA
Sept. 14, 2016

Hi Charlotte, 

Thanks for the laughs!  I'll share your jokes with my kids when they get home from school.  We love our dogs and would be lost without them.  

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