40 funny dog jokes for kids of all ages

Charlotte Latvala
Nov. 23, 2016
Image via unsplash.com/@braydona

Nothing's sweeter than the sound of your little ones' laughter. So here are the 40 best dog jokes out there that are guaranteed to get them -- and your whole family -- howling with laughter!

Q: Why are dogs like phones?

A: Because they have collar IDs!


Q: Why do dogs run in circles?

A: Because it's hard to run in squares!


Q: What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A: A collie-flower!


Q: What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?

A: A greyhound buzz!


Q: Why did the snowman name his dog "Frost"?

A: Because "Frost" bites!


Q: What dog keeps the best time?

A: A watch dog!


Q: Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?

A: A New Yorkie!


Q: Why is a tree like a big dog?

A: They both have a lot of bark!


Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?

A: A cockerpoodledoo!


Q: What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?

A: A croaker spaniel!


Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?

A: A golden receiver!


Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?

A: Right where you left him!


Q: Why aren't dogs good dancers?

A: Because they have two left feet!


Q: What did one flea say to the other?

A: Should we walk or take a dog?


Q: Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?

A: Because you might step in a poodle!


Q: Why can't dogs work the DVD remote?

A: Because they always hit the paws button!


Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?

A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale!


Q: Why was the dog sweating so much?

A: She was a hot dog!


Q: What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought out her food?

A: Bone appetit!


Q: What do you call a great dog detective?

A: Sherlock Bones!


Q: How do fleas travel from place to place?

A: By itch-hiking!


Q:Which dog breed does Dracula love the most?

A: Blood hounds!


Q: What's a dog's favorite dessert?

A: Pupcakes!


Q: What kinds of stores do dogs love the most?

A:Re-tail stores!


Q: What's a dog's favorite kind of pizza?

A: Pupperoni pizza!


Q: Which dog breed chases anything that's red?

A: A bull dog!


Q: What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?

A: That's ruffffffff!!


Q: What's a dog's favorite instrument?

A: A trombone!


Q:What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal?

A: “That hit the spots!"


Q: What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?

A: A flea market!


Q: What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A CAT-tastrophy!


Q: What do you call a dog that's been out in the cold?

A: A pupsicle!


Q: What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?

A: Take the words right out of his mouth!


Q: Which breed of dog is the quietest?

A: A hush puppy!


Q: Which dog breed just LOVES bubble baths?

A: A shampoodle!


Q: What did the dog say to the flea?

A: Quit bugging me!


Q: What's a dog's favorite breakfast food?

A: Pooched eggs!


Q: Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?

A: He kept seeing spots!


Q: Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?

A: A Chi-ha-ha!


Q: What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school? 

A: Her pet-degree!


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