After the pervasive era of the “well done” culture and prizes just for taking part, thanks to research many parents are embarking on a new approach to child rearing. It’s all about cultivating a growth mindset for kids, or more colloquially, teaching their children the benefits of failing. This may sound ominous at first, but for kids who are regularly trying new things and testing out potential passions, having a growth mindset is wildly beneficial. Growth-mindset parenting helps instil in them perseverance and staying power they can use throughout their lives.
Whether you’re curious about the overall concept or are looking for growth mindset activities for kids, here’s what to know about nurturing a stick-to-it attitude in kids.
What is growth mindset?
The phrase “growth mindset” has attracted a lot of buzz recently on social media, but the term was first coined by US psychologist Carol Dweck in 2006. Dweck notes in her book, “Mindset”, that a growth mindset is having the belief that skills or intelligence can and will improve with practice, as abilities are malleable. This, she says, is the opposite of a fixed mindset, which is the belief that one’s abilities are set in stone.
Why having a growth mindset is important for kids
A growth mindset helps kids (and adults) stick at things, even when they’re not the best at them. When kids have a growth mindset, they don’t get completely discouraged by failures, but instead use them as opportunities to learn and get better. Examples can include the slow and steady experience of learning to ride a bike or struggling with a maths problem. Both are instances where people often find that mistakes, setbacks and (literal) bumps in the road help pave the way for success.
On the flip side, when a child (or adult) has a fixed mindset, they blanketly interpret setbacks as “not being good” at a particular thing, whether it’s maths, football or art. Whilst everyone has their own talents and capabilities, we need to cultivate them through a process of gradual learning and improvement. Practising things, or trying and failing, is how individuals truly grow.
What are the benefits of a growth mindset for kids?
The gains of having a growth mindset are vast and lifelong. Here are a few ways kids benefit from this attitude.
1. Perseverance
Perhaps the most obvious benefit of adopting this way of thinking is that it helps kids persevere when things don’t unfold to their liking. If they’re easily bruised by constructive criticism or find failure overwhelming, kids are less like to continue with something they want to get good at. The attitude of “try, try and try again” helps them push through those internal barriers and grow as individuals, as well as in that particular skill.
2. Open-mindedness
Having a growth mindset is being open to new things, which often leads to learning new ideas or approaches to ordinary tasks. More closed-minded kids are likelier to give up on things they don’t find instinctively easy. Growth and development, a form of change, is something they often seek to avoid. Opening their minds and taking on a growth mindset helps kids expand their world and their sense of self as they stretch themselves and achieve new goals — an exhilarating experience for many.
3. Confidence
Paradoxically, the more we fail, the easier we find it to deal with failure. Brushing ourselves off and starting all over again can help us face future difficulties with confidence — as the fear of failure is usually much worse than the outcome itself.
A growth mindset helps children understand that mistakes and setbacks are all part of the journey. Rather than feeling bad about things going wrong, they’re easier on themselves, having faith in their own ability to eventually improve through effort and determination.
4. Resilience
A growth mindset helps kids stay the course when things get tough. Coming back stronger from mistakes and challenges helps children become more resilient in the long term — a characteristic that will serve them throughout a life full of learning and growing.
5. Achievement
Adopting a growth mindset is an almost guaranteed way to see the results your child dreams of. Working hard and staying strong despite bumps in the road is much more crucial to success or significant improvement in almost every field than any innate talent or gift. The more effort kids put in, the more likely they are to see the fruit of their labour – which in turn will only further encourage them.
How do you teach a child a growth mindset?
Just as some kids are naturally funnier or more artistic than others, some kids have more of a propensity towards a growth mindset. Having said that, it can be taught. Here are a few great ways to teach your child lessons in growth mindset:
1. Model a growth approach
“Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t work. Ever. So it isn’t enough to talk to kids about the importance of a growth mindset — you need to walk the walk. Being a good role model is a huge part of growth-mindset parenting. Accentuate the positive and take visible delight in tackling tricky tasks wherever you can. Children learn by copying, so these kinds of lessons in growth mindset are a great way to help your child understand that sticking at things is a valuable skill in itself.
2. Emphasise effort
In Carol Dweck’s seminal work, an experiment involving 400 schoolchildren, she found that praising kids’ effort over their intelligence inspired them to take more risks and keep trying. This appears to be because children have a more ambivalent relationship with characteristics they sense are innate — such as being clever or athletic. Once they believe they are a certain way, it’s hard for them to shake off the tag.
When your child has a win, consider saying how proud you are of how hard they worked to achieve what they did, rather than telling them they’re clever or talented. Recognising the effort kids have made is sure to reap rewards on their journey toward developing a growth mindset. It teaches them that sticking at something despite setbacks and mistakes can lead to success.
3. Create a judgement-free zone
In order for kids to feel comfortable making mistakes, parents need to create a comfortable environment. Criticism and judgement are anathema to helping kids stick at things that don’t come naturally to them. Build a safe space for them to try, fail and try again.
4. Give “hard” tasks
Whether it’s a chore or reading a book or talking to someone new, it’s a good idea to have your child try something that takes them out of their comfort zone every single day. It’s up to them to choose – as long as it’s something they find intrinsically difficult in some way.
Once your child has completed the task, take the opportunity to talk to them about how they felt and what they learnt from the experience. What drove them to keep going? What made them feel like giving up? How do they feel about themselves now they’ve persevered and completed the task? This is a great opportunity for shared reflection and further growth.
5. Share your own setbacks
Kids may roll their eyes when you reminisce, but those old stories can go a long way when it comes to showing what it means to stick at something. Your tales of overcoming past difficulties and becoming the person you are today — a seemingly all-powerful, confident adult — can help inspire the kids in your care. They show how mistakes are just milestones on the way to becoming the best person you can be, and that kids can get there too — even if the success they crave feels far away.
The bottom line
There’s no one right way to raise kids (and even Dweck herself has said that we are all a “mixture” of both a fixed and growth mindset). Having said that, encouraging kids to be open, work hard and believe that improvement isn’t just possible, but inevitable, will almost certainly have a positive impact. A growth mindset helps children cultivate resilience.
This is a crucial characteristic we can all benefit from to help us bounce back from failure and make our way through life, trying and failing, learning and growing, achieving new things and making new discoveries along the way — all the while, never losing our belief in ourselves.