The 13 best parenting tweets of the week

With summer break in full swing for many, parents are spending a lot more time with their kids — hence, they have a lot more fodder for Twitter. From tortilla-chip-eating ghosts to babyless breastfeeding, here are the best parenting tweets for the week of June 8-14, 2019.

1. Summer vacation = Double the snack consumption

Summer parenting status: Been hiding in the bathroom for an hour because my kids won’t stop asking me for snacks.

— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) June 8, 2019

2. When your toddler tells it like it is.

Toddler: What are you doing with that box?

Me: Ummm, putting it in the trash.

Toddler: Make sure you put in the recycle NOT the dirty garbage.

Me: pic.twitter.com/KGhW1yLKOa

— my tweets are muted, beloved (@Steph_I_Will) June 9, 2019

3. If you don’t have a “Not Me” living with you, are you even a parent?

Looks like “Not Me” was eating tortilla chips in the living room again.

— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) June 9, 2019

4. Sometimes kids are straight trailblazers.

4: Ugh. I can’t get the wrapper off my Starburst.

Me: I guess you can’t eat it.

4: Don’t you mean you guess I’ll have to eat the wrapper?

— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) June 11, 2019

5. Who’s hungry?

My kids were nagging me to buy them a treat at the pool, so I told them there was only broccoli ice cream available. Problem solved. #LieLikeAParent #ad

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 10, 2019

6. Gotta love that quality time with the kids!

I love getting up early to make breakfast, so we can sit down to a nice family meal and be ignored by 13 listening to “music” on her noise cancelling headphones.

— Josha Baron Cohen (@Tryptofantastic) June 11, 2019

7. WHY? Why is it so difficult?!

When one door closes,
another one opens…
JUST KIDDING!
You have children!
ALL of the doors are WIDE OPEN
ALL OF THE TIME!

— FakeAdultMom (@fakeadultmom) June 10, 2019

8. When you think of it that way…

I used to be afraid my 3 yo would lock me out of the house if I ran out back real quick to do something. After the 2nd day of summer break, I’m kind of hoping he does. I could use some alone time.

— Mom.Whine.Repeat (@MomWhineRepeat) June 11, 2019

9. Now THAT is what we call meta.

“It’s stupid to believe you lose your identity as a parent”, Ethan’s Mom said at the park

— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) June 13, 2019

10. Karma works in funny ways, huh?

“Have a great day, ask good questions!” – Me, at 7:30am

“Mom, do hammerhead sharks hammer things?” – 4 year old, at 9:05pm

I brought this on myself.

— Becca Carnahan (@with_love_becca) June 13, 2019

11. When the kid is three sheets to the wind — er, a toddler.

Me: uh bartender? This one needs to be cut off…

1yo: *trips over his feet, stumbles giggling into me, and then punches his stuffed bear in the face*

— ☕New-ish Mom? (@LifeThrewLemons) June 9, 2019