Parents’ evenings are one of the most useful tools that we have as parents to ensure our children are getting the most from their education. But as helpful as they are, they can be downright stressful for everyone involved. Parents want to get the lowdown on how their children are doing, and teachers want to make sure they communicate everything a parent needs to know about their teaching style and how the child is performing at school – all in a short block of time.
With so much to cover in such a brief period, we’ve put together some tips on what parents can do to get the most out of parent-teacher meetings.
The goal of the parents’ evening
Ultimately, parents and teachers share similar priorities when it comes to these meetings.
Parents should be looking to gain insight into how their child’s school day goes. They may wish to gauge how their kids are doing academically, socially and emotionally when they’re apart. Likewise, teachers are invested in finding out what’s going on at home for the children they teach and how that might impact their development. How their parents relate, what they do in the evening and if they’re happy at home all play a part.
The ultimate goal for both parents and teachers should be to get a well-rounded understanding of what is happening with the child in their day-to-day life because it informs how they end up performing academically.
Questions to ask at a parents’ evening
Building a healthy partnership with your child’s teacher can make all the difference to their school experience, so you’ll want to make sure you’re asking the right questions when you meet.
Ask and answer questions about your child’s life
1. May I tell you about my child?
No one knows your child better than you do, so it’s your job to help your child’s teacher learn more. Tell them what makes your child tick, what they find inspiring and motivating, and what they don’t like so much. Describe their skills and talents, strengths and weaknesses. This is the most important thing you can do for your child’s teacher – as you offer an insight into who they are.
2. May I tell you about what’s going on at home?
Situations like illness, divorce or a new baby may affect your child’s school experience, so inform your child’s teacher of such circumstances. Even knowing when the child spends time with one parent or another can be useful information.
If home life circumstances change dramatically between meetings, be sure to send your child’s teacher a note to let them know.
3. How is my child doing socially?
Top of the agenda for a parents’ evening should be discussing your child’s social skills and peer relations. A child’s social development is just as important as their academic development, and your child’s teacher will have made useful observations they can share with you. While parents often forget to ask about this issue, it’s crucial to understanding how kids get along with others when they’re not with their family. Are they good at making friends? Do they help others?
These are all important skills that go into measuring a child’s overall development.
4. How is my child doing emotionally?
It’s important to ask about your child’s emotional health at school. For example, is your child generally happy? Are there certain times of the day when your child seems stressed out or agitated?
Ask about your child’s academic performance
5. What are my child’s academic strengths and weaknesses?
Your child’s teacher sees your child from a different perspective than you do. Ask the teacher what personal weaknesses your child needs to work on and listen to the response with an open mind. Ask about their strengths, as well, so you can encourage them to continue doing good work.
Parents may have higher academic expectations for children, particularly early on in the year, so getting an accurate perspective from the classroom can be eye-opening.
6. Is my child performing in line with their age and stage of development?
At a parents’ evening, parents should expect to see examples of their child’s work. It’s worth asking whether this is in line with expected performance for their age and stage – but make sure to avoid comparison and competition with other kids in class. Each child is different and has different strengths and learning abilities.
Teachers are sure to let parents know if they’re worried about their child’s performance, so this isn’t something parents should obsess over. The most important thing here is to know if your child’s performance is where it should be, and your child’s teacher will be able to tell you that definitively.
7. What do academic performance assessments mean?
When it comes to standardised testing and other assessment results, parents may find themselves with a lot of questions. However, assessments are often set at school level to monitor progress, and they may not be relevant to the big picture.
8. Does my child need extra help in any areas?
Your child’s teacher can tell you if your child is falling behind in a skill or a subject, like maths or English. Armed with that information, you can create a plan with your child to work harder in that area before it’s too late. Collaboration is useful: you and your child’s teacher can work together to come up with a plan for your child’s progress.
There may be specific things you can do at home to help, such as hiring a tutor or getting help with homework.
Questions to ask if your child is having trouble at school
9. May I share a concern?
If you’re worried about a situation at school, bring it up with the teacher. The worst thing to do is stay silent and wait for things to come to a head. Chances are, if you’ve spotted an issue, it hasn’t escaped the teacher’s notice, either – and they’ll be glad you’ve brought it up, as long as this is done with respect.
For example, if you’re concerned about the amount of time your child is spending on their homework, this is the time to open the discussion with their teacher. Teachers and parents all have the same goal: to do what they can to ensure that the children have a successful school year.
10. Can you fill me in on a particular situation?
When your child has complaints or worries about what’s going on at school, it’s a good idea to ask for clarification from the teacher, as often your child’s side is the only side you’ve heard.
This can include anything from a peer-to-peer issue or a teacher that your child is having trouble with. If you don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere after the meeting, contact the headteacher about specific situations.
End with these important questions
11. How can I help at home to support what you’re doing in the classroom?
It’s a good idea to ask teachers how you can support what they do in the classroom.
There might be supplies you can purchase, prep work you can do at home or skill practice you can work into your child’s routine at home.
This is one of the most important questions a parent can ask. The more parents are involved, the less children tend to struggle.
12. What’s the best way to communicate with you?
Teachers have a lot of students and parents trying to talk to them during any given school day, so it’s important to get an understanding of how they prefer to communicate. Some teachers prefer email, phone or face-to-face. Find out which method your child’s teacher prefers so that you can communicate questions or concerns to them in the best way.
