What would you do if you regretted your home purchase? Thats how 47 percent of home-owning parents feel, according to the Care.com and Zillow 2015 Moving Survey.
Why? The stress of the situation heightened due to kid chaos and the deadline of a new school year — creates mayhem. “Moving can be an overwhelming experience for even the most Zen person — and when you add kids and parenting pressures to the mix, families can end up making rushed decisions,” said Donna Levin, co-founder and VP of Care.com.
The following infographic and advice will navigate and explain certain regrets and anxieties parents feel before, during and after the move — so you can learn from their mistakes.
BEFORE THE MOVE
- Choosing home over commute
35% of our survey respondents feel the commute takes too much time away from their family. The house is great, but once you have kids, more time on the road means missing school plays, family dinners and often bedtime.
How to avoid: Talk to people in the town where youre about to buy. Before you make a purchase, hang out at a local coffee shop, play at the playground, or join the communitys parent forum on BigTent.com. Ask what the commute is really like. If most people are just sucking it up, determine if the town is worth that sacrifice.
- Kids at open houses
Did you check out the closet space?
No, I didnt get past the master bath. Colette was throwing a fit and refusing to come out of their shower.
Sound familiar? Kids can create chaotic and rushed home shopping experiences. In fact, 86% of agents report parents had to cut a tour short due to kid disruptions. A weekend full of open houses has parents wanting to just.buy.something.
How to avoid: The fact is, you just need to focus, and young kids make that nearly impossible. Hire a babysitter, set up family care or arrange weekend playdates so you and your partner can concentrate and take your time.
- Not family-friendly enough
39% of families wish their home had a finished basement. 34% want more outdoor space and 27% pine for a playroom. These are the types of family features that creep up on couples as their kids needs grow.
How to avoid: Ask parent-friends what they love most about their home and what theyd change. From this, make a list of your familys priorities, before you meet with your agent. You can also use a national community board like Care Smarts to ask these types of questions.
- The neighbors
34% of families wish their neighbors had kids the same age as theirs. The proximity of kids — and people you have shared interests with — becomes increasingly important as you all try to build a new support network.
How to avoid: Look around. What signs of kids your age do you see? Go to the closest park and ask questions. Use your kid-free open house days to knock a neighbor’s door and learn about the street. Dont be shy. This is a big purchase. And the point is.. no regrets.DURING THE MOVE
- Too much fighting
56% of parents are arguing at least once a week during the moving process. The biggest issues? Not agreeing on the home purchase, needing more help and lack of compassion for ones stress and anxiety.
How to avoid: Dont buy something one of you needs to be talked into. Outline the help you need, and budget for it. Spending extra money just might be worth less stress, anxiety, and arguments. And talk. Share how you feel about leaving and any ideas that might help your partner make this easier for you. The calmer you are, the happier you can be about the move.
- Not enough help
Parents cite time and extra hands as some of the biggest stress-points of a move. 66% of parents say hiring someone to pack and unpack would make the move less stressful and 45% just cant find the time to do the packing.
How to avoid: There are people you can hire to pack and organize for you, or sitters to watch the kids so you can do the work yourself. Leaning on these types of services can help lower your stress (and lessen the arguments!).
- Moving day chaos
60% dont have the house cleaned professionally before they move in. And 23% say kids make this day the most stressful thing about moving.
How to avoid: Splurge on a professional clean, so you arent handling the mopping and the moving. Youll also want to find a place or person to take the kids for a day (and possibly the night) so you can focus on where things go not where the kids are.AFTER THE MOVE
- The upkeep
If unpacking is the most stressful part of transitioning, the regular home maintenance doesnt make ownership much easier. 38% of families felt most overwhelmed by how expensive the home was after they bought it and 30% feel the most stressful part of home ownership is the time away from their kids to deal with maintenance.
How to avoid: Before you get ready to make an offer, get a list of all regular bills from home sellers, including landscaping, snow plowing, trash removal, etc. And ask for a list of the work theyve done recently and the cost (and provider) of that work. This will give you the best feel for how much things cost. Then create a new family budget that allows you to offload some of the hardest, most time-consuming tasks.
- Leaving friends
17% found making friends in new town is harder than imagined.
How to avoid: Making new friends can be like dating all over again. You might have to take the lead. Walk to neighbors homes and introduce yourself. Approach other parents at the park. Ask people for playdates. Attend (or start) a newcomer’s meetup on your local BigTent.com group (with this mobile app).
- Child care/school set up took longer than expected
Whether doing center tours, nanny interviews or gathering all the paperwork for school registration families suggest allowing 1-3 months of work.
How to avoid: While house hunting, use a site like Care.com to find the daycare and nanny options in the new zip code(s) and start interviewing. Your real estate agent might have good advice as well.
It’s going to take a village to find your new village, so rely on family, babysitters, house cleaners, movers, packers and friends (even virtual ones!) to unload some of the stress that comes with this huge life change. “Most home buyers have to compromise on something,” says Amy Bohutinsky, chief marketing officer of Zillow. “Ask yourself, ‘Will this home still work for our family if something in our life changes?’ ‘If we face a financial setback, will we still be able to afford the mortgage?’ ‘Would a new job in a different part of town be a deal breaker?’,” explaining that “its best to look for a house that can accommodate many of the changes that life inevitably brings.” Bohutinsky also stresses the importance of a good real estate agent. “The right agent can really help take the stress out of the home buying process. So read agent reviews and interview at least three agents before choosing who to work with.”
Bottom line: The more you can focus on research and to-do lists, the less chance there’ll be for regret.
