Considering sharing a nanny? Be sure to do your homework: Nanny shares may be subject to various licensing requirements or prohibited in certain states and jurisdictions. Research local laws and regulations.
Once you’ve decided a nanny share is right for your family, the next step — figuring out how to get started — can feel a bit overwhelming. From finding the right partner family to hiring a nanny and working out logistics like schedules, pay and location, there’s a lot to consider. But with thoughtful planning and clear communication, you can create a successful nanny share arrangement that benefits everyone involved.
Here, we take you step by step through the process of setting up a nanny share — and with real-world advice from families who’ve done it. Whether you’re just getting started out or refining the details, these tips will help you set up a nanny share that works for your family, your partner family and your nanny.
Still deciding? Read more: What is a nanny share: Is it right for you?
1. Identify your family’s needs
Child care arrangements need to fit your family’s schedule, and a nanny share is no different. Early on, figure out exactly how many days and what hours you need a nanny. It’s important to be as specific as possible. Part-time and full-time can mean different things to different families, so being specific can help you weed out families that won’t match up.
A Bay Area mom says she listed her family’s detailed schedule in her ad looking for a nanny share family. If your child has special needs or, on the flip side, you have some flexibility, note these in your ad or communication with families as well.
2. Figure out your nanny budget
Start by figuring out what you can afford to pay for your part of the nanny share. In some nanny shares, families split the nanny’s hourly rate right down the middle. In other arrangements, the nanny’s rate may change based on how many kids are in their care.
A mom from Portland, Oregon, says the families in her nanny share pay by “number of babies.” When both babies are in the nanny’s care, the rate is $24 an hour. The families split that rate, so each family is paying $12 an hour. However, if only one baby is being cared for, the hourly rate drops to $20, but the family whose child is being cared for is responsible for the full hourly amount.
When budgeting for your nanny share, remember that nannies are entitled to overtime pay — and depending on where you live, sick pay and paid time off may also be required by state law. All of these factors need to be worked into your bottom line.
Read more: How much does a nanny share cost?
3. Find the ideal “partner family”
Before asking around or posting an ad in neighborhood or parenting forums to find a nanny share partner, get clear on your priorities. Know your must-haves, nice-to-haves and deal-breakers, but be open to compromise where it makes sense. While no two families are exactly alike, aim to find one whose schedule, values and expectations closely match yours.
A Portland mom says she prioritized organic, homemade food and a balanced diet, which the other family wasn’t focused on but was willing to support. In return, she compromised on toy preferences, agreeing to offer the kids only wooden and silicone toys, an important priority to the other family.
Virginia, a mom in Richmond, Virginia, says she focused on personality and compatibility when choosing a nanny share family. A Boston mom, on the other hand, prioritized actively involved parents and families who valued the nanny’s well-being.
Ask yourself these five questions to determine if another family might be a fit. Also, consider other questions you may want to ask families upfront, including:
- Are there any special house rules your kids follow at home?
- Do you have any issues with screen time?
- What is your discipline style?
- What are your specific nanny criteria based on your family’s needs?
- Do you have cultural or religious preferences?
- Are you comfortable with your kids being in a home with guns?
- Are you OK with pets?
If your child has a disability or a medical condition that would require more specialized care, you need to discuss this too, as it will likely determine the nanny you hire.
4. Calculate and agree on costs
Once you’ve found the ideal nanny share family, work through the critical financial questions together:
- How much can you both afford to pay the nanny per hour?
- How much are nannies charging in your area?
- Will you split the hourly rate 50/50 or is one family using the nanny more hours?
- How much should you budget for activities, supplies or host family expenses?
- How will you handle time off, including holidays, sick days and vacation time?
To help estimate how much you can expect to pay in employment taxes (and calculate any possible tax breaks!), use our nanny tax calculator.
5. Create and post a nanny job
Now it’s time to find and hire a nanny who fits both families. Most parents want to leave their kids with a nanny who is kind, capable and dependable, but there may be other priorities, too. The Portland mom, for instance, says her nanny share aligned on top priorities: baby-wearing and child development experience and activities.
Other nanny criteria the families interviewed say they prioritized:
- Shared values with both families.
- Compatible parenting style and approach.
- Flexible scheduling and availability.
- Bilingual or multilingual abilities.
- Age-specific skills, such as sleep or potty training.
When you’re ready, write a detailed nanny job description and post it to your favorite parenting or neighborhood forums or on a job site, like Care.com.
6. Interview a nanny
As nanny applicants respond, focus on professionalism and experience to begin screening and narrowing your choices. For definite mismatches, send an immediate “No, thank you” note as a courtesy.
Read more: Nanny share interview questions and tips to guide your hire
Consider paying your top pick to do a nanny trial one morning or afternoon. This is a great way to see how they interact with the kids.
7. Check nanny references
Do check the nanny’s references. Before making calls, read through these questions to ask references. Ask about the other families’ experiences with the nanny to get a better feel for your choice candidate.
8. Make the offer
Once both families have agreed on one nanny and a pay rate, make an offer and let any other applicants know the position has been filled.
9. Get a background check
No matter how much you adore your final nanny pick, be sure to obtain a background check as an extra safeguard.
Using Care.com to find your nanny? Care.com provides an enhanced caregiver screening called a CareCheck, which is included with membership, to help maintain a safe community. CareCheck is a good place to start, but it does not replace the safety precautions that families should take on their own. Our membership eligibility standards for caregivers may differ from your hiring standards, and we don’t share CareCheck reports for privacy reasons. We strongly recommend following our Steps to Hiring Safely, which includes running your own background check.
To learn more about background checks, visit the Care.com Safety page.
10. Set up nanny taxes
As employers, you need to follow state and federal tax laws.
“In a nanny share, both families are considered separate employers in the eyes of the IRS and the state,” says Tom Breedlove, senior director of Care.com HomePay. “This means both families need to follow the nanny tax process, and each family can capitalize on the tax breaks if they pay the nanny on the books.”
You may want to organize taxes on your own, or if you want help setting up your nanny share correctly, you can sign up for Care.com HomePay to ensure your nanny’s payroll is accurately calculated and your tax returns are filed on time. See our nanny tax requirements by state to understand everything that is involved with being a household employer.
11. Check your insurance coverage
If you’ll be hosting the nanny share in your home even some of the time, learn what kind of insurance coverage is adequate. Check with an insurance broker to ensure your umbrella coverage is sufficient now that you have a nanny working in your home.
12. Write a nanny share contract
Both families should draw up a comprehensive contract with the nanny to help avoid potential issues down the road. The nanny share contract should include: the nanny’s pay rate and duties, scheduling, sick policy, taxes, additional expenses, communication guidelines and how a party should exit the nanny share if/when that time comes.
Use these tips to craft a nanny share contract, and get started with our sample nanny contract.
13. Plan for Day 1
Follow this checklist for the nanny’s first day of work. Talk about safety and any issues that may crop up, and prepare your kids for the nanny to help the process go smoothly.
Set up a nanny share communication plan for everyone, which may include setting up an shared online calendar to track the host schedule, appointments, time off and other important dates.
Read more: The Complete Guide to Nanny Shares
