How do I get my toddler potty trained at night?

If you thought potty training was a single magnificent milestone in your little one’s life, think again. While graduating out of diapers during the day before heading to preschool is no small feat (and should be celebrated!), nighttime potty training is a completely different beast. 

“One thing that parents are often surprised to realize is that you literally cannot train someone to do something in their sleep, especially a young child,” explains parenting psychologist Heather Wittenberg, founder of BabyShrink and author of “Let’s Get This Potty Started! The BabyShrink’s Guide to Potty Training Your Toddler.” “With nighttime potty training, you’re really waiting on Mother Nature.” 

So, how should parents tackle it? It starts by completely reframing the process. Rather than thinking of it as nighttime potty “training,” it’s best to think of it as nighttime potty learning. It’s all about embracing your child’s unique developmental timeline and adjusting together as you go.

Why nighttime potty training is different than daytime potty training

Unlike using the toilet during the day, which is a skill parents can help teach, the ability for children to get through the night without wetting a diaper is a neurological development that lets the body naturally begin to regulate itself during sleep.

“There is actually a genetic switch that happens in the brain that produces a hormone to minimize urine production at night,” Wittenberg explains. “That’s the only time when nighttime potty training can happen, and it doesn’t turn on until toddlerhood or later.”

This is why nighttime bed wetting is considered largely biological and genetic, Wittenberg adds.

In fact, research has shown that certain genes can contribute to bed wetting in kids over the age of 5 by affecting things like urine production and bladder control during their sleep.

Don’t think of nighttime potty habits as ‘training’

The biological link between bed wetting and nighttime potty training is also why the timeline is later and much less predictable, explains Jennifer Walker, a registered pediatric nurse, mother of four and co-founder of Moms on Call. While it’s recommended that parents start the daytime potty training journey between the ages of 2 and 3, kids don’t get control over their bowel and bladder habits at night until between 3 and 5 years of age, Walker says. 

This is why experts do not even like to think about nighttime potty training as “training” at all. “What we recommend is that we treat it as if it is a normal part of daily life that we are completely convinced they will master,” Walker says. 

When it’s done right, a parent’s role here is to prioritize daytime potty training, then simply pay attention overnight. “The general rule of thumb is that once they wake up completely dry for two weeks in a row then we can finally consider them completely potty trained,” Walker says.

“Even when using a diaper overnight, the first thing you do in the morning should be taking it off and going straight to the potty. Leaving the diaper on too long after naps or in the morning can cause regression in daytime training.”

— Meg O’Leary, certified sleep expert

What parents can expect during nighttime potty learning 

While every child is different, many kiddos start waking up less wet by around age 3, which means they will likely still be sleeping in a crib, according to Wittenberg. At this stage, kids may call a parent if they need the potty in the middle of the night, but it’s not something to encourage. “Most toddlers sleep through the night at this point anyway,” Wittenberg explains. “And sleep — for everyone — is way more important than a 3 a.m. toddler potty break.”

Instead, Wittenberg recommends establishing a new bedtime routine to help lessen the need to go at night.

“It’s always a good idea to try to get them to pee before going to bed,” Wittenberg says. Slowing down on liquids after 4 to 5 p.m. can also help, but never restrict liquids if your child is thirsty, she notes. “Remember that the natural hormone comes online at some point which slows down urine production at night, so fluid restriction really doesn’t help much,” Wittenberg says.

For kids who have transitioned out of the crib, this new bedtime routine will also naturally help prevent kids from wandering to the bathroom in the dark — though not always. “Some kids may do well to have a portable potty next to their toddler bed which can help, but most won’t actually use it,” Wittenberg says. This is why it’s most important to always have a nightlight illuminating the path to the bathroom or to the parents’ bedroom, she notes.

Is my toddler ready to be potty trained at night?

Your toddler is ready to switch to underwear only once they naturally wake up for about two weeks in a row with a clean diaper. (Yes, it’s that simple to know!) “Waiting until their bodies are ready to be able to control urinating and stooling at night is the best method,” Walker says. 

Until then, parents should keep toddlers in diapers or pull-ups during naptime and overnight. The same rule goes for kids who are older as well. The normal age range for achieving nighttime dryness is anywhere between 18 months and 7 years old (or older).

How to make nighttime potty training easier

The golden rule of nighttime potty learning: Wait for natural signs of readiness, aka consistently waking up dryer at night, before switching to underwear. Until then, it’s best to normalize keeping a diaper on at night and staying in bed until they naturally stop needing it overnight. 

But even though the exact timing will be out of your hands, tackling the nighttime pottying process doesn’t have to be a mystery. Here, experts offer up their top tips for caregivers, as well as a few common pitfalls to avoid, to make the process easier.

1. Master daytime potty training before thinking about sleeptime

Sleep and nap schedules can be tricky enough for parents and young children to navigate. That’s why when it comes to potty training, it’s best to start during the day at first, according to family sleep expert Meg O’Leary, a certified sleep expert, mother of four and the founder of A Restful Night. 

“Solid daytime potty training helps the child understand expectations and practice the skill in an environment where they have easy access to the potty,” O’Leary says. Once daytime training is established? O’Leary backs using diapers for naps and overnight until kids are consistently dry for about two weeks at night — with a caveat. 

“Even when using a diaper overnight, the first thing you do in the morning should be taking it off and going straight to the potty,” O’Leary says. “Leaving the diaper on too long after naps or in the morning can cause regression in daytime training.”

“It’s important to remember that nighttime dryness is largely guided by an innate, genetic hormonal switch that cannot be rushed.”

— Heather Wittenberg, parenting psychologist and author

2. Talk to your child about the process 

For kids who have officially ditched their diaper during the day, it can be confusing to have to put one back on at night, O’Leary explains, so clear communication is important. “I tell parents to say something like, ‘I’m putting your diaper on so you can get a great night’s sleep. When you wake up, we’ll take it off and go straight to the potty,’” O’Leary says. 

Equally important? Communicating to kids that there’s nothing wrong with still needing a diaper at night even if their friends don’t. “Provide reassurance that their body will start to get dry at night when it’s ready,” Wittenberg says. “No pressure!”

3. Keep tabs on liquid intake throughout the day

As kids naturally begin to produce less urine at night, keeping tabs on how many liquids they are consuming — and when — can help their progress. Specifically, less liquids later in the day will lead to less pee kids will naturally still have stored up overnight.

“Think of liquid intake like a pyramid,” O’Leary says. “Most should be consumed in the morning and early afternoon, with smaller amounts in the evening.” She also recommends removing milk from your bedtime routine altogether because liquid that late never helps. 

Even if they are still in a diaper, monitoring liquids is still important to help keep kids from interrupting their sleep at night to use the bathroom, O’Leary adds. “This happens because daytime-trained kids are more in tune with the sensation of needing to go,” she says. Tapering liquid intake throughout the day will help them get through the night without disturbance.

4. Monitor patterns, but don’t rush things

For kids who have just switched to underwear, some parents get the urge to wake them up during the night to check if they need the bathroom out of fear of an accident. Don’t. This will only create sleep disruptions, O’Leary warns. “Again, this can be improved by paying close attention to your child’s liquid consumption throughout the day,” she says.

But the biggest key here is patience. “It’s important to remember that nighttime dryness is largely guided by an innate, genetic hormonal switch that cannot be rushed,” Wittenberg says. For extra reassurance and support, she recommends always keeping your pediatrician in the loop to rule out any medical concerns or issues that could be affecting your child’s timeline.

“The key is staying calm and supportive rather than putting pressure on your child. They will get the hang of it even if it feels impossible now.”

— Meg O’Leary

Should I reward my child for not wetting the bed at night?

Never. While everyone loves a good sticker chart and rewards can be helpful when trying to change a specific behavior in kids, experts agree that rewards — or punishments — should never be used for nighttime potty learning as dryness is totally out of the child’s control.

“You can’t really reinforce development, and having an accident isn’t a sign of defiance or ‘bad’ behavior,” O’Leary explains. “I focus more on what parents can do to encourage their child instead.” This includes communicating goals ahead of time and giving reassurance that even if an accident happens, they will naturally get the hang of things.

How long does it take for kids to be fully nighttime potty trained?

For some children, it may take only a few days, while for others, it may take a few weeks or longer, according to experts. Much of this comes down to not only biological readiness, but also simply how a child is designed. That’s why professionals like Walker always like to tailor their guidance on nighttime potty learning to the child, not just the process.

For example, rule followers may get it done over a weekend, however, kids who are more social or prone to lots of movement during the day tend to take a bit longer, Walker says. “This means one child may be potty trained one way in your family and another child is potty trained another way, but both can have positive experiences,” she says.

Are boys harder to potty train at night?

Not necessarily. While research shows that boys can be delayed by approximately six months compared to girls when toilet training, this doesn’t tend to hold true for nighttime learning because the skill needed is developmental, according to the pros we spoke to. 

“Overnight potty training timing varies,” O’Leary says. “I don’t find any specific differences between boys and girls as the process really depends on a child’s readiness, and a parent’s ability to time the change with their child’s readiness.”

The secret to surviving the switch out of diapers at night

Nighttime pottying is best thought of as a natural occurring biological milestone rather than a teaching task for parents. While there are things parents can do to make overnight potty trips easier, each child is unique and progress depends on the child’s developmental stage.

The best way to make the process smoother for everyone? Avoid rushing. “Sometimes stepping back and focusing on the basics like consistent diaper removal, liquid intake and gentle praise is the most effective approach,” O’Leary says. “The key is staying calm and supportive rather than putting pressure on your child. They will get the hang of it even if it feels impossible now.”