You’re pregnant – congratulations! You’re excited and overjoyed, and perhaps a bit anxious too. Family and friends have heard the great news, though there may be one conversation still left to be had – how to tell your boss, especially if you want to return to work?
Choose your moment
Let’s face it – sharing this news is going to have an impact on the family that you work for. Their reaction is going to incorporate not only their good wishes for you, but some element of the implications of the new situation for them too. Pick your time wisely – not when everyone has 101 things going on, but when it’s just you and the adults. The children can hear later.
Plan your words
How you start this conversation will determine how it’s received. ‘I’d like to share some positive personal news with you and talk about what this might mean for us all…’ shows that you’ve considered it from their perspective too.
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State your intentions
This might be the first time that the family you work for has ever thought about having a nanny with their own child and whilst the legislation regarding Statutory Pregnancy and Parental Leave is fixed; your decision about coming back to work is yours alone.
If you are intending to return to work, then it makes sense to have this conversation sooner rather than later. This gives everyone time to work out the practicalities and implications and discuss things together with time to plan.
Plus, your intention to come back to work may be just the thing your family needs to hear to help you begin to make contingency plans for your antenatal appointments, maternity leave and your (and your little one’s!) subsequent return.
However, you may want to leave things open, as once you have a child, your decision could change, and you don’t want to commit to anything that you might renege on afterwards.
Be realistic
‘Which child gets priority?’, ‘Do we want other people’s children in our home?’ and ‘How will my child react?’ are all perfectly reasonable questions that families may have. You should sensitively acknowledge them by explaining you understand. Be prepared to also have conversations about practical issues such as paying for food, toiletries, car seats, sleeping arrangements and sickness.
Talk regularly and honestly, and remember not to take things personally as they have a lot to think about too.
State the advantages
Flag up all those great things that being a nanny with their own child can bring to a family:
- You will be a parent too (and a working one at that!)
- Increased social interaction for children
- Consistency for the family
- Cost savings: some families pay nannies a reduced rate if they bring their children with them
Remember to breathe
This is an exciting time and with it comes a lot of changes for you and all of the important people in your life. By maintaining a level head and keeping an open and honest dialogue (with your employer and yourself), you’ll be well on your way to a happy and fulfilling arrangement.
Congratulations again and well wishes with your pregnancy!
