Caregiving is like having multiple high-demand, high-skill jobs at once. The workday might begin as a nurse, then transition to a financial asset manager by lunch, then end as an emotional support counsellor late into the night. Throw in some housework on the side, plus a work week that often extends past traditional work hours, and caregivers are often poised to have very little time for themselves.
Isolation, frustration and depression are some of the most common challenges that psychologists observe among caregivers, who put in an immense amount of effort and energy to care for an older adult.
For those who find themselves in this situation, seeking therapy and speaking with a licensed professional trained to understand, and act on, the unique challenges faced by caregivers (especially the challenges faced by caregivers of the elderly) is a good idea. Here are the main benefits associated with going to therapy as a caregiver, plus ways to make it work with an extremely tight schedule.
Benefits of therapy for caregivers
1. Your frustrations will be validated
One of the key benefits that therapy can provide caregivers is near-instant validation. It’s not uncommon for caregivers to question their frustrations, due to the very personal nature of their jobs, so hearing a licensed professional explain that it’s more than OK to feel anger, resentment and any other host of negative emotions can make a world of difference.
What’s more, hearing from a professional that it’s okay to seek help and that therapy will help you in the long-term can be highly beneficial in offsetting any feeling of guilt that may crop up over your decision to work on yourself and enter therapy.
2. It can lead to more quality time with the person you’re caring for
One expert says that caregivers are often caring for ageing parents or relatives — which tends to come saddled with decades’ worth of complex, sometimes strained relationships. This complexity can exacerbate any frustrations that arise out of caring for them, especially when tired and fatigued.
Caregivers who are emotionally supported are less apt to react negatively to what an older relative is doing, like repeating the same thing over and over or asking for help with the remote when you’ve already shown them.
Seeking therapy or finding a support group focused on caring for ageing parents can help ease the burden and curb any bitterness that may be present. One example that highlights this is the case of a caregiver son who was caring for his parents. The man felt as though his parents were not physically or verbally affectionate with him as a child, so when it was his time to care for them physically and mentally, he felt some resentment. However, after attending therapy for a few months, the situation improved and the man reported having gained positive insights.
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3. It can lead to treatment for other stress-related ailments
Many mental health professionals are medical doctors themselves or are connected to a host of other medical professionals that can help treat and prevent stress-related ailments associated with caregiving.
Stress-related ailments may manifest themselves as body aches, lethargy or even a stint in hospital. Therapists are in a good position to direct caregivers to the medical and social support systems they need to prevent these from occurring.
Look out for these signs of caregiver stress, many of which a therapist can help you keep an eye on:
- Feeling overwhelmed or constantly worried.
- Feeling tired often.
- Getting too much sleep or not enough sleep.
- Gaining or losing weight.
- Becoming easily irritated or angry.
- Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy.
- Feeling sad.
- Having frequent headaches, bodily pain or other physical problems.
- Abusing alcohol or drugs, including prescription medications.
4. You’ll learn to restructure your time
Therapy is a great tool for dissecting complex emotions, but it can also be used to help better manage your time. What’s more, it can also help caregivers find greater balance in their lives and encourage them to do things outside of their job that are enjoyable and stimulating.
5. You can refine your communication skills
One major component of therapy, particularly for caregivers, is understanding how to utilise your voice. Therapy teaches us skills such as self-advocacy, setting and enforcing boundaries, asking for help, and controlling an emotional or behavioural response, all of which are important for us to get healthy. While these skills come naturally for some, for others they require practice — and that’s where therapy comes in.
So whether you want to communicate stronger personal boundaries to an ageing parent or set limits on your time as a caregiver, therapy can help you build, and communicate, your arguments in a healthy, effective way.
How to find a therapist as a caregiver
1. If you have private health insurance, check what services it covers and choose a therapist
The most important thing is to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with, and it might take a few tries to find “the one” for you. It’s best to be open-minded and meet with a few before you decide who is the best fit to help you. (Note: “Meeting” can include quick telephone calls or email exchanges.)
When looking for a therapist, it’s important to make sure that the practitioner you choose is appropriately certified. Pay attention to the following:
- Ensure the therapist is licensed to practice in the state/territory you live in.
- Look for credentials such as the Clinical Social Worker Credential or registration with the Psychology Board of Australia.
- Therapists will often have specialities listed on their website. This will usually include tags for topic-specific counselling for caregivers that covers things like stress, depression, anxiety, relationship issues and more.
That said, credentials aren’t the be-all and end-all; not all therapists are the right fit for every single person, so it’s important to look at other factors in addition to professional certification. These include whether there is a connection and whether you feel comfortable with a particular therapist; if these are not present, it may stop you from being full open and honest. Ask friends and family if they have any personal recommendations for a good therapist.
2. If you don’t have private insurance coverage, see if you are eligible to use Medicare-covered sessions
Australians can get up to 10 free counselling sessions through Medicare. To access these free sessions, you’ll first need to visit your GP to assess your needs and get a mental health treatment plan.
3. If you can’t afford clinical therapy, support groups for caregivers can help
The simple act of speaking with someone who understands what you’re going through as a caregiver can be enough to ease your burden and take a weight off your shoulders. If you belong to a religious organisation, you can even ask another member to pop over for a visit just so you can have a chat to someone. You can also join a caregiver support group.
Facebook tends to have many unofficial care support groups that offer support for caregivers (just try searching for caregiver groups in your area or caregiver support online).
That said, in some cases therapy is really the best option. If you’ve ever felt regretful about how you spoke or handled a situation with your family member, such as if you lashed out, got angry or took your frustration out on them, it’s probably time to seek professional support to help you get through.