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If you are a caregiver, whether it be professionally or to a loved one, you are at risk for caregiver syndrome (also known as caregiver burnout).
What this looks like can differ based on person and situation; however, Stephanie Muskat, a social worker and founder and chief executive officer of Compassion in Caregiving says the following are telltale signs: When someone “no longer feels they are able to do the things they typically would in a day, no longer looks forward to what would usually excite them and feels overwhelmed all the time.”
They may also feel depleted of energy and like they’re stuck in a passive cycle of going through the motions, she adds. To equip yourself to deal with caregiver burnout syndrome, caregiving experts share what caregiver syndrome is, how to recognize the symptoms, what causes it and coping strategies.
Key takeaways
- Caregiver syndrome (also called caregiver burnout) happens when physical, emotional and mental demands outweigh your ability to recover, leaving you overwhelmed and depleted.
- Symptoms of caregiver syndrome can include anxiety, fatigue, resentment, sadness, social withdrawal and physical health issues.
- Common causes of caregiver stress syndrome include lack of support, constant responsibilities, guilt, and juggling work or family alongside caregiving.
- Coping strategies include setting boundaries, accepting help, using respite care, accessing mental health support and practicing small daily self-care habits.
What is caregiver syndrome?
Caregiver syndrome is what happens when your “emotional, physical and mental tanks are running on empty for too long,” says Sondra “Sam” Cradduck, gerontologist, psychologist and owner of The Living Room, a non-medical senior home care agency in Phelan, California. And it’s the breaking point between good care and frustration, she adds.
Picture this: You’re on the phone with your mom’s insurance company discussing medication coverage. At the same time, your 3-year-old is pulling on your pant leg, asking for a story and a snack. Your to-do list is on the kitchen table, surrounded by a grocery list, school paperwork for your older children and a stack of bills you’re handling for your loved one. And these are just the physical manifestations of the responsibilities pulling you in every direction.
You’re overwhelmed, you’re tired, you’re not getting enough sleep, but you keep juggling all of these proverbial balls because you don’t know what else to do. This is caregiver burnout. It’s “what happens when the demands of caring for someone else begin to consume more than we have to give,” says Cradduck.
Symptoms of Caregiver Syndrome
Caregiver syndrome can show up in a variety of ways, and Muskat compares these symptoms to warning lights on a car. You can ignore them, but the car will continue to break down. And you may end up in a state where you can’t “drive,” so to speak. Here are some of the “warning lights” that you might be dealing with caregiver burnout syndrome.
Mental symptoms
Taking care of another human being can take a toll on your mental health. Here are some signs it could be affecting you.
- Anxiety.
- Irritability.
- Resentment toward the person you’re caring for.
- Hopelessness.
- Trouble concentrating.
- Sadness.
- Feeling trapped.
- Difficulty focusing at work.
Burnout “is your body giving you a signal that something needs to change or something is ‘wrong.'”
– Stephanie Muskat, social worker and CEO
Physical symptoms
In addition to the mental weight, caregiving can be a physical job, which means you may experience some of the following.
- Fatigue.
- Soreness.
- Sleep disturbances (such as inability to sleep or wanting to sleep more than normal).
- Sweating.
- Crying.
- Headaches.
- Stomach issues.
- Frequent illness.
- Changes in weight.
Social symptoms
As a result of the mental and physical aspects of caregiving, you may find it difficult to maintain a social life in addition to your day-to-day responsibilities. Here are some of the signs that it has started affecting your exterior relationships.
- Withdrawing from friends.
- Ignoring phone calls and texts.
- Skipping events.
- Avoiding conversations because others “won’t get it.”
Causes of Caregiver Syndrome
Caregiver syndrome can happen for a variety of often-overlapping reasons. However, the overarching cause is that a caregiver has been doing “so much for a long period of time without doing anything for themselves or without getting any sort or reprieve,” says Muskat.
This might be due to lack of support or feeling like you can’t step away because something might happen in your absence. It can also be the result of “ingrained feelings of guilt or shame that [you] cannot do less or do anything for [yourself] because the other person needs too much for [you] to step away,” adds Muskat.
Some caregivers may also be balancing work and possibly other family members (such as kids), she adds. This can result in you as a caregiver feeling stretched thin and unable to stop the exhausting cycle.
Sandwich generation caregivers are especially prone to caregiver burnout, given the unique challenges of their position.
Coping strategies for caregiver syndrome
If you’re dealing with caregiver syndrome, it might be hard to make time to address it. However, it’s not something that will resolve itself if you just keep trying to push through, says Muskat.
Burnout “is your body giving you a signal that something needs to change or something is ‘wrong’ according to your body,” she adds. With that in mind, here are some strategies for pulling yourself out of a burnout state.
Get mental health support
If there are deeper-rooted emotional reasons as to why you as a caregiver are pushing yourself in a way that does not allow for breaks, mental health support should be your first priority, says Muskat. These feelings might be due to trauma, shame, guilt or other intrusive thoughts, and a therapist can help you work through them.
Accept help
Caregiving is not something that can or should be done alone. You need to be prepared to ask for or accept help when it’s offered. And perhaps most importantly, Cradduck suggests “asking for it before you hit a wall.”
This might look like asking other family members or friends to pitch in with certain tasks, such as arranging meals, driving to appointments or providing respite care while you run errands. And being far away doesn’t mean someone can’t help; long-distance caregiving could mean scheduling doctor appointments or handling finances.
Utilize resources
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) nearly 1 in 5 adults are caregivers. Suffice to say, you are not alone. And as such, there are numerous resources (here are some) for caregivers, from training to respite networks. There are even personal assistants specifically for caregivers and the people they’re caring for, like Stella Foster.
Don’t expect them to change
“We often expect our loved ones to want to do things better, healthier, different,” says Cradduck. But the truth is that “many just want to exist until they don’t,” she adds. And expecting the person you’re caring for to change when they don’t want to will only cause frustration and tension.
Set realistic expectations
Boundaries, limits and the ability to say “no” or recognize when you can’t do more is an essential part of being a caregiver, says Muskat. It’s also important to recognize that “life ebbs and flows, and there are times [you] will need more boundaries and times when [you] can do more because [you] have more mental and physical energy.
As an example, making a meal every day for both your own family and your parents is a nice thought, but you’re setting yourself up for failure, says Cradduck. Instead, consider looking into ways to outsource meal preparation and delivery.
“Progress and presence matter more than perfection. At the end of this journey, no one will notice if you did everything right. They will, however, notice that you did it with the right heart.”
– Sondra “Sam” Cradduck, gerontologist and psychologist
Move your body
Even if you just make time for some gentle stretching or a walk, it can help release some of the stress your body is holding, says Cradduck. After all, according to the Mayo Clinic, almost any form of exercise can provide stress relief.
Make time for rest and tension relief
Whether it’s sitting in silence with a cup of coffee or rolling up the windows of your car and screaming for a few minutes, it’s important to plan moments to release stress, says Cradduck. Here are some more examples of self-care for caregivers.
Talk it out
Don’t underestimate the power of sharing. Whether it’s to a trusted friend, in-person or online support groups (like this one) or a counselor, finding others can help you feel not so alone.
Utilize respite care
Respite care offers temporary care services so you can have a break, whether that’s to get your hair cut, visit with friends or just get some sleep. And if you have access to it, take it, advises Cradduck. “A few hours or days where you are not ‘on duty’ can make the difference between despair and resilience,” she adds.
Respite care can also come in the form of adult daycare center or even be facility-based within assisted living centers and nursing homes. These options are especially helpful for those facing cognitive diagnoses that require more hands-on care.
Finally, accept imperfections
The reality is that both you and the person you’re caring for are imperfect. Your caregiving journey will be imperfect: You won’t do everything “right.” “And that’s OK” says Cradduck. “Progress and presence matter more than perfection. At the end of this journey, no one will notice if you did everything right. They will, however, notice that you did it with the right heart,” she adds.
