How to ease the transition to assisted living

Once you decide that moving to assisted living is the best choice for yourself or your loved one, you’re often faced with a new challenge: how to make the transition from home to assisted living as smooth as possible.

For seniors, some of the biggest challenges include the loss of familiarity and fears about losing their independence, says Moti Gamburd, CEO of Raya’s Paradise, a residential senior care community. “Seniors are leaving a space filled with memories, routines and a sense of control,” he explains. “Even when they know the move is necessary, it can feel overwhelming.”

Family members may struggle with this change, as well. “There is an emotional weight to moving a loved one out of their home,” Gamburd adds. “If these feelings are not addressed, they can create resistance and stress, making the transition harder for everyone.”

In many instances, preparation and how you manage the move itself plays a major role in adjusting to assisted living. From downsizing to setting up your new living space and adjusting to new routines, here’s everything you need to know to ease the transition to assisted living for everyone involved.

Preparing to transition to assisted living

It’s never too early to start planning for the transition to assisted living, says Amy Goyer, author and AARP’s family and caregiving expert.

Goyer says it’s typically best to start planning long before a decision is made to move. That’s because there is often a lot of work to do — both practically and emotionally — in the weeks and months leading up to the big move into your selected assisted living facility.

Goyer offers the following tips to make the downsizing and packing process as efficient and comfortable as possible:

1. Make a plan. The first practical tasks to focus on are downsizing your home and packing it up for the move. Before you start downsizing, Goyer recommends coming up with a plan about how you will do it and setting a timeline.
2. Get organized. Consider having an organizing system in place, such as sorting belongings into categories (keep, donate, sell and trash).
3. Go room by room. It’s best to take a room-by-room approach to downsizing and packing, says Goyer. As you finish each room, you will see results and feel a sense of accomplishment.
4. Honor keepsakes and memories. Take photos and create digital or tangible scrapbooks of treasured items that won’t come along to assisted living.
5. Acknowledge the emotional impacts of downsizing. “Downsizing is a very emotional and often overwhelming experience,” Goyer notes. As a senior making this transition, you may feel a deep sense of loss and perhaps even fear about the process of aging or your health status changing. Practice self-compassion as you move through potential feelings of guilt, worry and stress. And if you’re a family member supporting a loved one through this change, “validate those feelings, listen and be empathetic,” Goyer recommends.
6. Consider hiring help. If you or your loved one has a lot of stuff to sort through, consider hiring a professional organizer or senior move manager to help. You might also consider hiring a moving company for seniors specifically; they can help pack up your home and move your items.

“Create a sense of routine right away. Setting up a daily schedule for meals, activities and social time can help you feel more settled.”

— Moti Gamburd, senior living expert

Moving in to assisted living

The move itself into assisted living can be emotionally taxing for both seniors and their loved ones. Here, experts share tips for how to make move-in day as comfortable as possible for everyone involved.

1. Make the new space feel homey. As soon as possible after moving in, unpack, put things away and decorate where possible. “It should have the feel of their old home, in terms of familiar items,” says Goyer. 
2. Mimic your former home in the new place. Consider arranging the space in a similar way as your former home or old favorite room. “When my parents moved, I tried to set up their apartment similar to the layout of their living room at home,” Goyer shares.
3. Establish routines from the beginning. “Create a sense of routine right away,” Gamburd recommends. “Setting up a daily schedule for meals, activities and social time can help you feel more settled.”
4. Make the schedule familiar. Make an effort to build a daily schedule similar to your old routine, in terms of wake-up time, your daily routines and activities and wind-down rituals at night.
5. Get to know your neighbors. One of the most valuable aspects of assisted living is that you will have a built-in social life. Still, it can be overwhelming to socialize at first, which is why experts recommend starting with small social interactions early on. “If they get overwhelmed easily, concentrate at first with immediate neighbors,” Goyer recommends.

The first week adjusting to assisted living

The first week is a crucial time when it comes to settling in and making your new home a place where you thrive. This is especially true when it comes to socializing and engaging in activities. “Seniors who start engaging within the first week tend to adjust much faster than those who isolate themselves at the beginning,” says Gamburd.

For family members who want to help support a loved one, this is also a crucial time to offer support and assisted living transition help to loved ones. Here are expert tips for ensuring a successful first week of assisted living.

1. Start engaging as soon as possible. “Enroll in community exercises, group meals, classes or club activities,” suggests Dr. Michael Kane, a psychiatrist with expertise in family medicine and chief medical officer at Indiana Center for Recovery. “These exercises facilitate social participation which improves physical and mental health.”
2. Slowly increase your activity level. While you’ll want to get involved as soon as possible with community events and classes at the facility, don’t over-schedule yourself. It’s a good idea to ease in slowly, according to your comfort level, Dr. Kane emphasizes.
3. Attend activities with a loved one. If possible, consider attending some activities together with a loved one, especially at first, Goyer says. Invite them to an event or plan to attend a class together. “I believe it’s helpful for family members to go with [seniors] sometimes at first — it helps them feel more safe and comfortable until they get the hang of it,” she explains.
4. Host friends and family. One way to feel a sense of ownership and pride in your new home is to host loved ones in your new space. “If there is a family dining room, have some family gatherings there,” Goyer suggests. “It will emphasize the fact that they can still host gatherings.”
5. Stay connected without hovering. It’s important for loved ones to take a step back and allow you to find your footing in your new community. But you also want to continue to stay connected and for loved ones to be an emotional touchstone. “Frequent but short visits in the first few weeks allow seniors to feel supported while also giving them space to establish independence,” Gamburd says.

“Families often underestimate the emotional toll of this process, and professional support can make the transition a positive one.”

— Moti Gamburd

One final tip to ease the transition to assisted living

Adjusting to assisted living can be difficult at first, but the rewards are typically abundant, with seniors often enjoying new friendships, a myriad of enriching activities and needed assistance with daily living. Still, some seniors may struggle with the change. It’s important to seek  help if you or your loved one is struggling emotionally.  

“If a senior is showing signs of prolonged distress like withdrawal, refusal to eat or signs of depression, it may be time to bring in a professional,” says Gamburd. Consider reaching out to a social worker, therapist or geriatric care manager to help ease emotional resistance and provide coping strategies.

“Families often underestimate the emotional toll of this process, and professional support can make the transition a positive one,” Gamburd concludes.