In this article
Parenting today is full of interruptions and multitasking, not to mention the constant pinging of phone notifications — all leading to what experts call “time confetti.” The term describes the modern problem of feeling like you’re constantly doing all the things yet never fully completing tasks. This scattered attention can leave parents feeling guilty and drained.
“Instead of having solid blocks of time to focus, rest or connect, we end up getting seconds or minutes here and there,” says Bryce Reddy, therapist and founder of Mom Brain Therapist. “Each interruption feels like it should just be a moment, but together they leave you feeling like you’ve been ‘on’ all day without actually accomplishing what you had hoped or getting the downtime and rest you need to not feel overwhelmed.”
Because time confetti can also lead to guilt or shame, it’s important to get a handle on it. Here experts share what time confetti is, signs it’s becoming a problem, how to reduce time confetti and when to seek help.
Key takeaways
- Time confetti fragments parents’ days into tiny, scattered moments, leaving them constantly busy but rarely feeling accomplished, rested or fully connected with their children.
- Warning signs that time confetti is taking a toll include parents feeling rushed or irritable, and kids acting out or calling attention to your lack of presence.
- Small, intentional shifts — like phone-free zones, batching tasks and setting clear expectations with kids — help parents reclaim attention and reduce daily overwhelm.
- Time confetti is not a personal failing but a reality of modern parenting; showing grace and modeling mindful choices matter more than eliminating every distraction.
What is “time confetti”?
Coined by Brigid Schulte, author of “Overwhelmed: How to Work, Love & Play When No One Has the Time,” “time confetti” is the result of constant micro-interruptions, resulting in your day feeling fragmented.
In parenthood, time confetti “is when your day gets torn up into tiny, scattered pieces of time by frequent interruptions (phones and tiny humans), multitasking and mental to-do lists that just keep getting bigger and bigger,” explains Reddy. And these small interruptions on their own seem harmless, she adds, but collectively they make a big impact on focus and connection.
For Janine Pérez-La Sala, a marketing consultant and parent of one in Bellmore, New York, this can look like trying to brush her almost 2-year-old’s teeth and having to pause to respond to an urgent work message. Or on the flipside: “Sometimes I’m in the middle of writing a report, and I have to pause, because my daughter wants me to read a book,” she adds.
Time confetti “is when your day gets torn up into tiny, scattered pieces of time by frequent interruptions (phones and tiny humans), multitasking and mental to-do lists that just keep getting bigger and bigger.”
— Bryce Reddy, therapist
How phone usage complicates time confetti
For many people, work communication (especially if you work from home), texting with friends, ordering groceries, arranging playdates, shopping for household supplies and more all take place via smart devices. While this can be helpful in its convenience, it can also be very distracting when your phone is constantly barraging you with notifications.
Angela Gotz, a parent of two in Winona, Minnesota, says the fact that most people prefer email and texts to phone calls contributes to her experience of time confetti. Instead of a quick phone call, simple questions become lengthy email exchanges. And this results in what she calls an overflowing “mental shelf.” This “shelf” holds all of the things that are at the forefront of her attention until she resolves them. And this shelf can “break” from the weight placed on it.
However, devices can also be an asset. While Jennifer Patton, a museum educator and parent of two in New York City acknowledges that phone use could add to time confetti, she believes they still have value when it comes to staying on top of things and maintaining social connections.
How to know if you or your child is struggling with time confetti
If you’re struggling with time confetti as a parent, you’re not alone. “Parenthood today comes with more demands and distractions than ever before,” says Reddy. “It’s not a personal failing to feel pulled in a million directions; it’s the reality of modern life, unfortunately.” However, if you’re experiencing some of the following signs, it might be time to recalibrate your priorities.
Signs you’re struggling with time confetti
Time confetti is an unavoidable part of parenting today, but you may want to address it if you find yourself …
Feeling scattered and overwhelmed
Time confetti may be negatively affecting you if it constantly feels like “there isn’t enough time in the day to take care of all [you] would like to do or achieve,” says Heidi McBain, a perinatal mental health therapist.
Experiencing guilt or shame
You likely feel torn between staying present in the moment with your kids, while feeling the pull of technology — you have a message to return, you want to numb parenting boredom by doomscrolling or you just want to see what’s going on in the world. And this can lead to “parental guilt or even shame around not parenting in the ways we hoped or dreamed we would,” says McBain.
Struggling to relax
During downtime, you might not be able to shake your mental to-do list or feel on edge, says Allie McQuaid, a licensed clinical professional counselor and owner of Tree House Therapy, LLC.
Feeling irritable
When you’re struggling to complete a task, it can be irritating to be interrupted. However, if you’re experiencing more frustration and rage moments, it might be time to reassess how time confetti is affecting both you and your child.
Grappling with resentment
Time confetti may bring other issues to light, like societal pressures or even inequities in relationships, and that could leave you feeling resentful. For example, if you feel like you’re carrying the bulk of the mental (and physical) task load in your home, it can exacerbate the problem of time confetti, says McQuaid.
Instead of tasks being split evenly between partners, you may find your time is more fragmented if you’re handling everything.
Signs children are struggling with time confetti
“When our attention is split into tiny pieces, our kids feel it, even if we’re sitting right next to them,” says Dr. Mona Amin, pediatrician and host of The PedsDocTalk Podcast. This can result in some of the following signs.
- Acting out. Children “may get louder or bigger with their emotions to pull us back in,” says Amin.
- Quietly retreating. On the other side, children may pull back if they’re feeling a disconnect.
- Showing detachment in your relationship. Kids “notice when our focus is divided, and it can leave them feeling disconnected,” says Reddy. This can eventually break down the “sense of calm and connection we want in our homes and relationships,” she adds.
- Calling out your fragmented attention. Your child may come straight out and say, “‘Mommy, you’re always on your phone,’ or ‘Mommy, play with me. You never play with me,’” says McQuaid. And while it might be hard to hear, it’s good that your child is reaching out and making a bid for connection, she adds.
How to reduce time confetti and reclaim family connection
If you’re seeing signs that time confetti is problematic in your life, you’re not alone. And the “goal isn’t to erase every distraction or be available every second — it’s to be intentional about when and where your attention goes,” says Amin. Here are some ways to create anchor points throughout the day for being truly present.
Have phone boundaries
In the same way that you have screen time rules for your child, consider implementing some for yourself. This might look like keeping your phone in a set “home base,” setting specific check-in times, turning off notifications and skipping looking up every random thought or question you or your kids have, suggests Reddy.
McBain adds that “putting your electronics in another room when you’re spending time with your kids would help so many parents reclaim the present moment with their kids.”
Batch or schedule your time
It might be cliché, but the experts agree that setting aside time for different tasks can be helpful when it comes to managing your focus.
As Amin says, no parent can always be “on.” “What matters most is building in predictable times when your child knows they get you fully,” she adds. “That could be family dinner, bedtime or the first few minutes after pickup.”
To add to this, McBain advises being very intentional about when you are and aren’t on electronics. And when it’s time to turn things off, she suggests turning your notifications off and keeping your phone face down.
Find things to do more of
When it comes to willpower, your phone will almost always win, says McQuaid. So instead of expecting yourself to go without, she recommends looking at ways you can fill your time. If you want connection, find things to do with your kids that don’t require your phone, like going to the park, playing outside or coloring together.
Take intentional pauses
When you’re feeling inundated with tasks, and your child is hovering over your shoulder asking you to help her with something or to come play, it can send you into a stressful hurry-up mentality.
In these moments between activities, McQuaid suggests intentionally pausing and taking 10-20 seconds before moving on to the next thing. Unless it’s an emergency, close the email, take a drink of water and pause a moment before you continue.
Set clear expectations
When your kid wants your attention and wants it now, it can be hard to finish what you’re working on. In these situations, Amin advises letting them know what to expect: “I’m finishing this email for work. Sit next to me, and when I’m done, we’ll have a snack and read.” Then, it’s very important that you follow through, because it establishes trust and reminds your child that you mean what you say, she says.
Prioritize distraction-free moments
Lastly, don’t forget that it’s about quality, not quantity here. “Even short, undistracted bursts of time can be powerful,” says Amin. “They send the message, ‘I see you, and you matter.’”
“[The] goal isn’t to erase every distraction or be available every second — it’s to be intentional about when and where your attention goes.”
— Dr. Mona Amin, pediatrician
When to seek more support with time management
If you’re struggling with time confetti, the resounding agreement from the experts is that you are not alone. “This is a really common issue for parents and humans alike,” says McBain. However, the experts suggest reaching out to a doctor or therapist for help and support if you are experiencing the following:
- Mood disturbances, such as symptoms of depression (like not enjoying things in your life that you used to enjoy), feeling anxious and experiencing irritability.
- Not feeling rested when you get out of bed in the morning.
- Sleep disturbances (like being unable to sleep because of a mental to-do list).
- Not feeling like yourself or the parent you want to be to your kids.
Ultimately, if you don’t already have a therapist, says McQuaid and time confetti is impacting major parts of your life, it might be time to find support.
Why time confetti doesn’t mean you’re failing as a parent
When it comes to modeling balance in your life, the point isn’t to show your kids a perfect, distraction-free life, says Amin. “It’s about showing them you can make intentional choices with your time. That might look like putting down the phone when they walk in, turning off the TV to talk or pausing a chore so you can meet their eyes.”
Time confetti about noticing what’s pulling you away, and making small shifts if you want to, explains Amin. “Zero interruptions isn’t realistic, but mindful presence is,” she concludes. “Our kids don’t just need us in the room, they need to feel us there. And even small changes in that direction make a big difference.”
