Nothing’s sweeter than the sound of kids laughing. And few things are cuter (or more weirdly hilarious) than dogs. So why not combine the two with some funny jokes about dogs? It’s the best of both worlds!
Want to get little ones laughing? Here are 50 hilarious dog jokes that will, no doubt, give both kids and adults a serious case of the howling giggles.
- Why are dogs like phones? Because they have collar IDs!
- Why do dogs run in circles? Because it’s hard to run in squares!
- What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
- What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee? A greyhound buzz!
- Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”? Because “Frost” bites!
- What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog!
- Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city? A New Yorkie!
- Why is a tree like a big dog? They both have a lot of bark!
- What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodledoo!
- What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog? A croaker spaniel!
- What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone? A golden receiver!
- Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him!
- Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
- What did one flea say to the other? Should we walk or take a dog?
- Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs? Because you might step in a poodle!
- Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote? Because they always hit the paws button!
- How are a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale!
- Why was the dog sweating so much? She was a hot dog!
- What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought out her food? Bone appetit!
- What do you call a great dog detective? Sherlock Bones!
- How do fleas travel from place to place? By itch-hiking!
- Which dog breed does Dracula love the most? Blood hounds!
- What’s a dog’s favorite dessert? Pupcakes!
- What kinds of stores do dogs love the most? Re-tail stores!
- What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza? Pupperoni pizza!
- Which dog breed chases anything that’s red? A bull dog!
- What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper? That’s ruffffffff!!
- What’s a dog’s favorite instrument? A trombone!
- What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal? “That hit the spots!”
- What type of market should you NEVER take your dog? A flea market!
- What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-tastrophy!
- What do you call a dog that’s been out in the cold? A pupsicle!
- What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary? Take the words right out of his mouth!
- Which breed of dog is the quietest? A hush puppy!
- Which dog breed just LOVES bubble baths? A shampoodle!
- What did the dog say to the flea? Quit bugging me!
- What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast food? Pooched eggs!
- Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor? He kept seeing spots!
- Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes? A Chi-ha-ha!
- What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school? Her pet-degree!
- How did the little Scottish dog react when he met the Loch Ness Monster? He was Terrier-fied!
- Why did the dog chase his own tail? He was trying to make both ends meet!
- What type of zoo has only one dog? A Shih Tzu.
- What’s a herding dog’s favorite game? Hide and sheep.
- Why are there no losers in a Dachshund race? They’re all weiners.
- What kind of dog should you get if you’re always late? A watchdog!
- What did the dog say to its teacher when it forgot its homework? “My human ate my homework.”
- Who is the most famous doggy magician in history? Houndini.
- What kind of car does a dog drive? A Fur-rari.
- Why did the dog do so well in school? He was the teacher’s pet.
