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Starting a new child care job is always overwhelming — new faces, new protocols, new routines. But sometimes it becomes clear pretty early on (as in hours) that the job isn’t what you expected. So, do you quit? On day one?
“While quitting a new job on day one is never desirable, it may be justified in limited situations,” notes Michelle LaRowe, lead educator at Global Nanny Training, who adds that those situations may include unsafe working environments or a complete bait and switch (more on this shortly).
Feel like you want to give your resignation even though you just started? Read on for expert advice on what to do, and how to do it.
Key takeaways
- It’s normal for the first day of a child care job to feel awkward, but major red flags — like safety issues, bait-and-switch duties or disrespect — are worth taking seriously. If you leave day one feeling unsafe, misled or compromised, it may be valid to consider walking away.
- Some rocky starts can improve with time, especially when communication is open and the family shows willingness to clarify expectations. Checking in early and often can prevent small issues from becoming deal-breakers.
- If concerns involve safety, ethics, or toxic behavior, quitting early is acceptable — and doing so professionally matters. Trust your instincts, communicate clearly and prioritize your well-being and boundaries.
What are signs a child care job isn’t right on day one?
First days of work are often awkward, especially as a nanny, daycare provider or other child care pro. You’re not completely sure what you’re doing, you’re getting to know people, etc. In many cases, things feel much more comfortable — and enjoyable — after a few days.
With that in mind, some situations truly are red flags. Here are a few instances when quitting a child care job you just started might be justified, say LaRowe and Theresa White, a career clarity expert and certified career coach at Career Bloom Coaching in Honolulu, Hawaii.
- The family or employer isn’t following through on pay, schedule or duties. This may include being told you’re getting paid in cash after agreeing otherwise.
- Lack of safety measures or an unsafe home environment. “This may include a nanny being expected to drive the children without a car seat or employees/children being exposed to drugs or unsecured and unlocked weapons,” says LaRowe
- Clear signs of disrespect or hostility. From parents, household members or employers.
- A complete bait and switch. “For instance,” LaRowe notes, “You show up to provide child care and are asked to deep clean the house.”
- Unethical behavior. This, LaRowe notes, may include being asked to lie about your employment status.
- Unsustainable hours. No break coverage or unrealistic expectations about constant availability.
“If you leave your first day feeling disrespected, unsafe or misled, it’s valid to question whether it’s the right fit,” notes White.
“In caregiving roles, your energy and emotional stability matter. If you know in your gut that something is seriously wrong and it’s not going to change, it’s OK to walk away.”
— Theresa White, certified career coach
Should I stick out a ‘bad’ job for a while or quit right away?
Ultimately, it depends on the situation, notes White, but “staying in a job that puts your safety or mental health at risk doesn’t serve anyone.”
“In caregiving roles, your energy and emotional stability matter,” she continues. “If you know in your gut that something is seriously wrong and it’s not going to change, it’s OK to walk away. Your time and well-being are worth protecting.”
According to LaRowe, however, having the right mindset is crucial to navigating the first few days and weeks on any new job. “Understanding that every job and family is different and having a positive mindset can help child care workers navigate first interactions with ease.”
And if challenges arise in the first day or two, address them quickly, LaRow continues.
“Having daily check-ins to start, followed by weekly meetings during the first 90 days can help to create a culture of open communication,” she says. “This ensures little problems don’t have the chance to grow to big ones and avoids emotional build up and resentment.”
What are some signs a work situation might improve?
According to White, there are few telltale signs that your bad first day was a one-off and the job will likely improve:
- The first day felt chaotic, but communication was open and kind.
- You got a clear training or onboarding plan, even if the pace was overwhelming.
- The family acknowledged it was a rough start and showed willingness to improve.
“Sometimes it’s just first-day nerves or disorganization,” she says. “If the tone is respectful and the structure is there, it might be worth giving it a few more days.”
Should I bring up my concerns to my employer?
Yes! As LaRowe explains it, if an employer isn’t provided the opportunity to fix and address issues, they are unable to do so. “Having clear communication and stating the problem while providing possible solutions is often the best step forward in solving typical issues that come up,” LaRowe continues. “These issues may include job creep, concerns surrounding pay and compensation and expectations surrounding duties and responsibilities.”
Aren’t sure how to broach the subject? White suggests saying something along of the lines of this:
“Thanks again for having me yesterday. I want to clarify a few things that felt different from what we discussed initially, especially around [X]. I’d love to check in and make sure we’re on the same page moving forward.”
“You’re not accusing, you’re setting boundaries and advocating for yourself,” she notes. “If the response is defensive or dismissive, that’s more data to guide your next step.”
“Quitting professionally is about timing, tone and honesty. Future employers understand that not every role works out. What matters is how you handle it.”
— Theresa White
What are the signs I should quit a new job?
If your physical or emotional safety feels compromised, White notes, or you’re asked to work in a situation or circumstance that is clearly exploitative or dishonest, “it’s OK to leave, even quickly.”
If you’re in a situation like this, it’s best to communicate clearly and professionally with your employer.
You can say something along the lines of: “Thank you for the opportunity, but I’ve realized this isn’t the right fit for me. I wanted to be respectful of your time and let you know now instead of continuing in a role that’s not aligned.”
“Quitting professionally is about timing, tone and honesty,” says White. “Future employers understand that not every role works out. What matters is how you handle it. Trust your instincts and protect your peace.”
A final note on leaving a new job early on
Ultimately, you know if a job is or isn’t for you. “Many child care workers report knowing a job is just not going to work out when they dread returning to work, have stomach aches or other physical symptoms when thinking about returning to work and when they are finding reasons to not show up for work,” LaRowe notes.
If you’ve made the decision that a job isn’t right for you, LaRowe says to “remain professional and tender your resignation.”
“As long as it’s safe to do so, the goal at this point is to exit the job with as much professionalism and grace as possible to secure a neutral or positive reference,” she concludes.
