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Once you’ve partnered with another family, hired a nanny and agreed on their hourly rate, there are still a few important cost details to sort out in your nanny share — like who pays when one share family provides all the snacks or when only one child needs transportation? Determining upfront how you’ll handle pay and divvy up other costs is important.
To be sure you cover all your bases, we talked to six parents who have been part of a nanny share. We asked their advice on how they manage payment and split any additional costs that come up in a nanny share.
How to manage pay in a nanny share
Beyond working together to set the nanny’s hourly rate, here are some of the other pay details to figure out in a nanny share arrangement:
How to split the nanny’s pay
Most nanny share families split the nanny’s hourly pay rate evenly. In other cases, if one family uses the nanny for more hours or has more children or tasks to handle, you might split costs based on usage. (In either case, always be sure the nanny is earning at least the minimum wage for every hour they work.)
Ken, a dad from New York, says he and his share family each pay their portion of the share’s hours separately at the end of each week.
When and how often you’ll pay the nanny
Both families should also work with the nanny to set a regular payment schedule.
A nanny share mom from San Francisco says that determining when to pay the nanny is important to figure out right away. “You need to agree if you’re going to pay the nanny monthly, biweekly or weekly,” she says.
What method you’ll each use to pay the nanny
Another factor to work out is what method you’re both going to use to pay the nanny. While the San Francisco mom uses Venmo, another mom we spoke to from Boston says she uses Care.com HomePay.
How to handle taxes legally
In the majority of cases, the IRS considers the family as an employer in a nanny share. That means each family is also responsible for handling taxes and payroll unless one family officially employs the nanny and the other reimburses them. A payroll service like HomePay can help you manage tax withholdings legally and ensure you’re always in compliance as an employer.
How to manage other nanny share expenses
Beyond your nanny’s regular hourly pay rate, other common expenses can arise in a nanny share. These may include:
- Activity costs and fees.
- Snacks and meals (if not provided by each home).
- Household supplies used during care.
- Equipment (stroller, car seat, high chair).
- Mileage accrued by the nanny.
Your nanny may need gear for multiple children for a number of reasons. Maybe you’re switching hosting locations frequently, or maybe you’d like the nanny to take the kids out of the house often. In general, when a family needs to buy something like an additional stroller or car seat, share families split costs right down the middle.
A mom in Portland, Oregon, says that the families in her nanny share agreed to split purchases as equally and fairly as possible. Specifically, they did this by developing a detailed plan of how they share the cost of any unforeseen expenses. “We went into detail to make sure everybody was comfortable with it and it was very fair,” she explains. Ultimately, they decided, “Let’s be objective about this and find a fair ground.”
The same mom adds that the families split the cost of the children’s food based on who hosts. The family who hosts supplies lunch and snacks for the children, and each family keeps a shopping list of the children’s preferred foods.
Best practices for managing shared expenses
The families interviewed also explain some of their other best practices around discussing nanny share money matters, like shared expenses.
Have an in-person meeting
Most parents agree that face-to-face meetings with their share family are important when discussing finances. In these meetings, families determine things like how often they pay their nanny and what method of payment they use.
Virginia says more than anything, remember to keep the lines of communication open and all shared finances transparent.
Determine who tracks shared expenses
The majority of families say they assign one member to take charge of tracking costs and expenses for the nanny share. Most use Google Docs to manage the information because it’s collaborative, and everyone with access to the document can easily see any changes or updates. Some prefer to have a neutral third party or service to track payroll. You can also use a shared spreadsheet or a money-splitting app like Splitwise to log purchases and then settle up monthly.
In his nanny share, Ken is the unofficial time tracker. He created a shared spreadsheet to track the nanny’s hours. Ken says the families email each other a nanny share schedule each week. He then enters the week’s hours for the nanny share, broken down by the hours the nanny cares for his daughter only, the hours she cares for his share family’s child only and the hours she cares for both children together. At the end of the week, each family pays the amount they owe based on Ken’s spreadsheet.
In the Portland mom’s nanny share, the nanny tracks her own hours on a shared spreadsheet the families set up for her. It’s always important to keep everyone updated.
Clarify who pays for what in the nanny share contract
As a final step, make sure to document the agreed pay rate, the split and any shared expenses in your nanny share contract. Virginia says her nanny share contract also specifies that the share members meet with the nanny regularly to discuss payroll, logistics, administration and, naturally, how the kids are doing.
Plan for increases and changes
Another best practice to keep your nanny share running smoothly? Revisit costs annually, including your nanny’s pay rate, or if either family needs changes (e.g., schedule shifts, one child goes to preschool). Strive to be transparent with each other, as well as with the nanny, to keep everyone on the same page.
