With potty training being a prerequisite for some preschools and many kindergartens, it’s common for parents to wonder if a preschool can potty train their child. While it would be ideal (for parents), the truth is, many preschools can help with potty training, but most don’t take kids from diapers to underwear on their own.
“Most preschools prefer children to be potty trained,” says Elizabeth Fraley, founder and CEO of Kinder Ready, adding that, generally-speaking, daycares are more flexible with potty training. “Many preschools prefer children entering their programs to be fully potty trained by age 3.”
Wondering about the ins and outs of potty training and preschool? Here’s everything you need to know.
Key takeaways
- Many preschools can support potty training, but most expect children to arrive already trained — especially private programs — while state-funded programs often can’t require it. Whether it’s mandatory ultimately depends on the specific school, not a universal rule.
- Preschool potty training only works when a child is developmentally ready and parents stay consistent at home. Teachers can reinforce progress, but they can’t run the full process without family partnership.
- If a program requires full training and your child isn’t ready, finding a more flexible school is usually better than forcing the process. Following your child’s pace helps avoid resistance and supports a smoother, more positive transition to preschool.
Does my child have to be potty trained for preschool?
Ultimately, it depends on the school, the state, and in many cases, whether they’re privately- or state-funded. For instance, in many states, including New Jersey, California and Illinois, state-funded preschool programs cannot mandate enrollees be toilet trained.
On the flip side, when a preschool is privately-funded, making potty training a requirement is up to them. For instance, at Smaller Scholars Montessori Academy in Houston, being potty trained is a prerequisite for students, whereas at Brooklyn Preschool of Science, it’s not.
Simply put, it all comes down to the school.
Can preschools potty train kids?
Preschools may be able to help potty train a child (again, depending on the school), but they won’t be able to undertake the entire process. The reason being, potty training is a round-the-clock process (save for overnight), and there are other kids in the class who need help and attention.
According to Erin Kahy, executive director of admissions and marketing at The Brunswick School, in Jersey City, New Jersey, in order for “preschool potty training” to work, two things need to be present:
- Child readiness.
- Parent-teacher cooperation.
“For example, we recently worked with a 2.5-year-old in our toddler program who was clearly showing physical and developmental readiness; he was holding his bladder, asking to use the bathroom, etc.,” she notes. “The signs were all there.”
However, she explains, the challenge was with his parents, who both had busy travel schedules and were hesitant to begin.
“We spent several weeks building trust, reviewing readiness markers and outlining a realistic plan that would work for their family,” Kahy continues. “We met twice before starting, walked them through preparation steps at home, and ultimately aligned on using an accelerated long-weekend approach inspired by the Oh Crap method.”
Mom and dad committed fully, staying consistent all weekend, and when their son returned to school the following Monday, he was wearing underwear,” says Kahy. “The key was partnership and consistency.”
“Don’t pressure your toddler about mastering the potty — you will only trigger the normal developmental pushback of the toddler and ensure more resistance!”
— Heather Wittenberg, psychologist and child development specialist
What if my child isn’t potty trained before starting preschool?
To put it bluntly, if your child isn’t potty trained and it’s a requirement for the school, it’s best to find a school with looser restrictions, says Heather Wittenberg, a practicing psychologist who specializes in the development of babies, toddlers and preschoolers, author of “Let’s Get This Potty Started! The BabyShrink’s Guide to Potty Training Your Toddler.”
“So many parents of toddlers experience the pre-preschool panic because of restrictive rules that preschools often have that require ‘100% potty trained’ toddlers,” she says. “But this fails to take developmental reality into account. In fact, I’d say that a preschool that requires all their 3 year olds to be ‘100% potty trained’ demonstrates a lack of developmental knowledge about the children they serve.”
“Find a preschool that understands toddlers and partners with them to help them as they learn about the potty,” she continues. “Don’t pressure your toddler about mastering the potty — you will only trigger the normal developmental pushback of the toddler and ensure more resistance!”
Is there a super fast way to potty train?
If you’re committed to a specific preschool that requires your child to be potty trained and your kiddo is still in diapers, there are a number of potty training methods to consider.
For a parent- and expert-backed list of potty training techniques, check out:
The best potty training methods — and how to choose one
Fraley also suggests recruiting support in the form of either your pediatrician or a potty training consultant. “Reach out to your child’s pediatrician to get the most up-to-date knowledge and advice for your individual child on potty training,” she says. “Additionally, a potty training consultant can offer personalized guidance for children.”
Potty training consultants, Fraley continues, look for the root cause of issues and help develop a plan. “They use science backed strategies to help children experience a positive shift in toileting routines in a supportive environment,” she adds.
Most conduct consultations by phone, video, online course or even in-home consultations and appointments.
In conjunction with potty training efforts, Fraley recommends stocking up on children’s books on potty training. A few of her favorite include:
- “P is for Potty” by the creators of Sesame Street.
- “Daniel Tiger’s Potty Time.”
Adult books on potty training include:
The bottom line on preschool potty panic
While it’s normal to panic about your child being potty trained before preschool, keep in mind, for many schools, particularly state-funded ones, it’s not a requirement. Also, it’s not something you should force.
“Support your child’s own learning process and pace,” Wittenberg says. “Encourage them in their efforts, but don’t run ahead of them. Potty training is a huge developmental achievement, as it requires all of the developmental domains to work together in an amazing symphony.”
“So if parents can step back and appreciate the miracle of their child running, speaking, playing and doing all the things they couldn’t do just a few months ago,” she concludes, “they can appreciate the journey and relax a bit.”
