How to make a kids screen time contract to put a stop to tech arguments

Most parents have a love/hate relationship with screen time. On the one hand, when used mindfully, it can be a great resource for learning and connecting (and, real talk: it gives parents a little time to get things done); but on the other, it can be the cause of safety concerns, arguments and more. 

In order to reduce disagreements and have clear expectations when it comes to media usage — be it a phone, iPad or video games — many parents have opted to create a kids screen time that concisely lays out rules, limits and a code of conduct, says Titania Jordan, chief parenting officer at Bark Technologies and co-author of “Parenting in a Tech World.”

“Kids do better when the rules are clear before there is a conflict,” Jordan explains.

From the family benefits to what to include (as well a free template you can download ), here’s everything to know about kids screen time contracts. 

Key takeaways

• A screen time contract sets expectations before conflicts happen. Rather than negotiating device use in the heat of the moment, a written agreement helps reduce daily arguments and teaches kids that technology comes with clear responsibilities and boundaries.
• The best contracts cover much more than time limits. In addition to rules around when and where devices can be used, experts recommend including expectations for apps, group chats, online safety, consequences for breaking the rules, parents’ own screen habits and regular review dates.
• For a screen time contract to work long-term, it needs consistency and flexibility. Parents should enforce agreed-upon consequences, avoid changing rules during conflicts and schedule regular check-ins so kids have a chance to revisit expectations as they grow.

What is a screen time contract?

A screen time contract is a written agreement between parents and kids that spells out all rules and expectations for kids’ tech use, explains Jordan. 

“It should include when, where, how and why technology can be used,” Jordan continues, adding that a contract should go beyond just minutes spent on a screen. “It should include apps, devices, [rules for] bedrooms, school nights, group chats, consequences and what happens when something uncomfortable or unsafe shows up.”

“A screen time contract takes the daily arguing out of the equation and helps kids understand that technology is a privilege with guardrails, not a free-for-all.”

—Titania Jordan, online safety expert and author

What are the benefits of a screen time contract for kids?

Screen time contracts can help shift conversations about device usage from emotionally-charged, in-the-moment battles to clear expectations that everyone understands. When parents and kids agree on the rules ahead of time, Jordan explains, there’s less room for power struggles and more opportunity for kids to develop healthy digital habits.

“A screen time contract takes the daily arguing out of the equation and helps kids understand that technology is a privilege with guardrails, not a free-for-all,” she adds.

Sample kids screen time contract (free printable)

Aren’t sure what to include in your screen time contract? Here’s a free template to download:

When should parents introduce a screen time contract?

Right away. In fact, both Jordan and Rod Mitchell, a psychologist and founder of Emotions Therapy, recommend creating a contract before handing over any device. 

“Whether it’s a phone, tablet, gaming console or access to social media, rules should be set beforehand, not after things go sideways,” says Jordan. 

This also helps create consistency. “Consequences or rules set in anger or frustration are usually too big to enforce,” agrees Mitchell, “and a consequence you walk back on teaches your kids that the contract was just for show.”

If your child already has a device and you haven’t yet set rules, it’s not too late, they add. You can reset the rules by simply saying, “We are learning more, and our family rules are changing.”

What should parents include in a screen time contract?

Screen time contracts should go beyond time limits. Here’s what Jordan and Mitchell recommend including in yours:

• Device-free times (such as during meals, homework or family time).
• Device-free zones (like bedrooms or the dinner table).
• Approved apps and games that are allowed.
• Rules for downloading new apps, including when parental permission is required.
• Bedtime expectations, such as when devices need to be turned in for the night.
• School-night screen time limits.
• Expectations for group chats and disappearing messages.
• What to do if they encounter bullying, sexual content, self-harm content, or contact from a stranger.
• Consequences for breaking the agreement, decided in advance while everyone is calm (for example, losing phone privileges for a set period).
• Parent commitments, outlining the healthy screen habits parents will model, too. (Otherwise, Jordan notes, the contract reads like a punishment).
• A review date to revisit the contract together and adjust it as your child matures or circumstances change.

“If the only way for your child to influence the rule is to fight about it at 8 p.m., that’s exactly what they’ll do. A rule that folds when a child escalates hard enough teaches escalation.”

—Rod Mitchell, psychologist

What are some tips for making a screen time contract kids will actually follow?

Kids — particularly kids excited to get a new device — have a knack for dutifully agreeing to any rules put in a screen time contract up front. A few weeks in, though, there’s a good chance they’ll challenge some of the formerly-reasonable guidelines.

Stay firm

One way to mitigate this is to stay firm, while hearing them and not shutting them down immediately, notes Mitchell.

“If the only way for your child to influence the rule is to fight about it at 8 p.m., that’s exactly what they’ll do,” he says, adding that a common mistake parents make when it comes to screen time rules is bending under pressure. “A rule that folds when a child escalates hard enough teaches escalation, and the next escalation will be even worse.”

Schedule times to review and update the rules

Instead, he says, have review dates, where parents and kids can re-visit rules together.

“When kids are asking to bend the rules, I advise parents to simply say: ‘That’s a review date discussion. Write it down and bring it,’” says Mitchell. “Then let the kids actually win something in that review — a review where nothing ever changes is theater, and the kids can sense it.”

Don’t lecture

Jordan adds that when you’re creating the contract, it’s best not to make it a lecture in disguise.

“Sit down together, explain the ‘why,’ give kids some age-appropriate input and make the rules specific enough that there is no wiggle room at 9:47 p.m. on a Tuesday when they want ‘just five more minutes.’”

A final thought on kids screen time contracts

It’s work on the front end, but having a screen time contract with your child can drastically reduce arguments and power struggles — and ultimately, it will help keep kids safe.

“It’s important not to just focus on time limits while ignoring what kids are actually doing on screens,” Jordan says. “Thirty minutes in a toxic group chat can do more damage than two hours watching a movie with the family. Parents need to think about content, contact, privacy, sleep and emotional fallout, not just the clock.”