About Mary

Location: all parts of the Bay Area! I don't babysit--I run a tiny, high-functioning civilization with snacks. I can negotiate with toddlers like a seasoned diplomat and outmaneuver meltdowns before they even draft their first complaint. Sticky hands? Gone. Schedules? Locked in. I make vegetables disappear (into children, not the trash) and turn chaos into calm with a side of laughter. I'm equal parts nurturing, entertaining, and just intimidating enough that toys clean themselves up. Bedtime happens. Teeth get brushed. Kids feel safe, seen, and weirdly obsessed with me. Hire me once and your kids will ask if I'm coming back before you even leave the driveway.