I recently spoke with a woman who I'll refer to as Suzie. Here's what she had to say:

Suzie: I just returned from a trip to visit my dad. I usually get a chance to see him three to four times a year and I noticed things have really changed on this last trip. He kept asking me the same questions throughout the visit. He brought up events from a few months ago like they had happened last week. He even shuffles around more when he walks. All of a sudden (to me) he looked like he had aged 20 years! My sister, with whom he lives, says this is how it's been for the past few months. I am just feeling lost.

My response: One of the difficult parts of living at a distance from our parents is that things can change drastically from one visit to the next when Alzheimer's disease or dementia is involved. It can be very upsetting to make a visit to our parent or loved one and observe a change like this. Here are some things that may help during this time:

-If you have a family member who lives near your loved one it can help to check in with them frequently to stay up to date on any changes your loved one may be exhibiting. This can include changes in mood, skills, behavior, cognition, and activities of daily living (bathing, dressing, ability to use the restroom, ability to feed oneself, and get in and out of chairs and the bed). It can help to ask specific questions like these rather than the more general, "How is Dad?" so you have a better sense of what you are walking into when you go to visit. If a family member is not involved on a regular basis, reach out to other caregivers and providers involved in their life, including their informal and formal support network.

-I recommend educating yourself on Alzheimer's disease so you can further understand what to expect on your visits. A great place to get information is by going to the Alzheimer's Association website at www.alz.org. You can learn about the stages of Alzheimer's disease, treatment, and how to provide care. This education can help prepare you for changes you may find in your loved one due to the disease.

-Be kind to yourself. Perhaps you benefit from reaching out to your own support network or maybe you need time on your own to reflect. This is a very difficult time as you watch your loved one changing and everyone processes this differently. Try to take a few moments to tune into what you are feeling- loss, sadness, grief, fatigue, guilt. If these feelings are lingering reach out to a professional. Just one conversation can often be enough to help you through a rough patch. Call the Alzheimer's Association at 800-272-3900 or one of Care.com's Senior Care Counselors at 877-922-7314 for support and with questions.