My husband just told me that he will be deployed for "only" 3-4 (so it will be 4) months this summer.
I must say that I"m feeling a tremendous amount of stress at this news. I realize that deployments are tough on all families but in our case, we have so many extenuating circumstances and I need advice on how I'm going to cope I honestly am struggling and hope I can keep it together.
1. My husband didn't join until he was 39 (as a result of him getting laid off from his civilian job), 2 years ago, when his children were 7, 4, and 5 months old (now 9, 6, and 2.5) so this entire lifestyle has come as a shock to me
2. We don't live anywhere near a base or installation so our community is completely disconnected from the military and thus, there is no support system here.
3. Our extended families our out of state - no support there either and they don't readily come to visit even under these circumstances (his first 6 month deployment was immediately after he signed up with the military 2 years ago).
5. He is a "military bachelor" so lives away from home anyway during the week and often much of the weekiends. That is because of my job and my children's stability in school. We just don't see him much at all so cherish any time we have with him and the help that I receive when he's here.
6. Our eldest daughter has some mild special needs which are exacerbated when he's away.
7. I work FT in a rather demanding career - which is something I actually cherished when he was deployed last time (the time away from home, adult conversation, etc).

I'm really struggling with all of this and have not been able to access any resources for support. As a result of this deployment, I will need to increase the number of babysitters I currently use and the hours, and one of the worst parts, is that my children won't have a summer vacation with their Dad next year. I'm up now in the middle of the night because the anxiety of this news has really gotten to me.

Any and all advice is welcome and needed! Thank you.

Every deployment is tough no matter the circumstance. This is my third one. I too do not live on a base and find the is a lack of support for the deployed families. I work in a hospital with hospital hours. There is not a day care opened on nights and weekends. Babysitters have been a disappointment for me.
The best resource that I was able to use was military grant for kids. I was able to send my child to summer camp on a grant. Another great resource is the Ymca. If you are not a member, then you can use their services for six months. There was a lot of red tape with the Ymca and I had to call military one source to help me with the employees at the Ymca but was able to get our benefits. There are many family activities. Call military one source for help.

Good luck with everything!

Hi Rosanne,

I could have exactly written this post three years ago - except I was only working part time. I was very stressed out beforehand, but ended up having a good summer - some of my girlfriends have husbands that travel often, so we would get together almost weekly with all our kids for bbq's, each person bringing part of the meal, it was less work, and some much needed social time. I also took advantage of the ourmilitarykids.org grants. And definitely check out your local Y; if they have respite childcare, you can use it for free.

Good luck, and feel free to email me directly if you want to chat/vent/etc.

-Celine

Hi Rosanne,
You really just have to take it one day at a time. My husband and I are dual military and he deployed when my daughter was 2 months old, then she and I PCS'd back to the states while he was gone and he still hasn't gotten orders back stateside. So for the last year+ I have been doing it all by myself. I found the godsend to be a great full time Nanny that provides stability in my daughter's life as well as my own and some great friends to lean on.
I am also kind of far away from a true military community because of a program I am in that is sending me to college, so I know how it can be to be surrounded by people who don't understand the stress of military families. Also, the internet is an amazing tool, get into forums of deployed military wives because you will be surrounded by people who know exactly what you are going through and can give you pointers on how to deal :)

Good Luck!

Heather

Hello!

I too am facing another deployment but this time we have two children instead of a newborn. I know how you feel. I agree about the militaryonesource.com. They are EXTREMELY helpful and they can find you someone who understands and can help. As far as your daughter is concerned, have you tried talking to TRICARE about EFMP? It might help you get some info for both of you. I hope everything goes ok for you! GOOD LUCK!!

Courtney