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Biggest Challenge?
By Care.com A. on Tue Feb 2, 2010 at 4:36 PM EST
What's the biggest challenge you face as a stay-at-home parent?
 
 
By Bradley M. on Wed Mar 17, 2010 at 2:46 PM EDT
Feeling left out of what is going on in outside the home.
 
 
By Jana K. on Tue May 11, 2010 at 5:46 AM EDT
I'm with you Brad. Don't know what I'd do without my laptop. My 14 yr old son quit middle school because of the bullying...(and he's a BIG boy!) Just tired of the drama, he said. So now, I'm really outta the loop. Plus, if you read my profile, I had an accident and now I'm basically TOTALLY cut off from the world. I HATE IT!...So, strictly platonic, I guess since we're the only two replying to this post, I guess we could fill each other in on "wut up" in each other's world.

I'm not so good at geography, did ya'll get any flooding? I don't know how close Knoxville is from Nashville. I hope you're ok. Three kids....lots of stuff to move to high ground.

I'm in Panama City, FL Everybody's freaking out about the LA oil spill (and rightfull so in my opinion) In this economy, tourism is about the only thing saving our area. If we get oil on our "World's Most Beautfiul Beaches", I"m afraid we'll be done for.

Are you a stay-at-home dad? If so, I think that's incredible. Of course, you GUYS always get more credit than us gals do! But I gotta hand it to ya, my hubby would NEVER be able to do what you do. He's a fighter pilot and they are just a different breed. (He's an older one...the new breed, much better with their kids!) But when you need someone to turn terorrist into teeth, hair and eyeballs do you want a hard-core, hard as steel, flinty eyed, no emotion showing bas***d or a nice P.C. gen X-er? And PLEASE, feel free to disagree or this won't be any fun!

Well, I'll let you go for now...just searching for some intellectual sparring I guess instead of the typical diaper change, butt rash, mommy/baby stuff...so reply back sometime...I'd love it.
 
 
By Kara G. on Mon Jul 12, 2010 at 5:27 PM EDT
I'd have to say the biggest challange for me is going "out" to relax. Most people come home to relax from work. I have to cordinate leaving to relax. That takes time, money and willing children to not get sick or something like that. :) I enjoy it, no matter how great the trials though.
 
 
By Genevieve L. on Mon Jul 12, 2010 at 5:52 PM EDT
Q

Remember to smile everyday ;)

On Jul 12, 2010, at 2:27 PM, "Kara G." <stayathomemoms@groups.care.com> wrote:
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By Katie D. on Mon Jul 12, 2010 at 6:07 PM EDT
Kara...I agree 100% with you! The coordination is too much! And calculating bbsitting into everything makes me think more than twice...separation anxiety x 2 doesn't help either.
 
 
By Kara C. on Thu Mar 24, 2011 at 12:21 PM EDT
Agreed. Feeling left out is a big deal. W/O the computer, I would have no clue what's going on in the world! And i only really read the headlines! Who has time for the whole story?? I've got a 1 YO to run after ;)
 
 
By Kara C. on Thu Mar 24, 2011 at 12:21 PM EDT
Agreed. Feeling left out is a big deal. W/O the computer, I would have no clue what's going on in the world! And i only really read the headlines! Who has time for the whole story?? I've got a 1 YO to run after ;)
 
 
By Jessica H. on Sat Apr 9, 2011 at 12:30 PM EDT
The biggest challenge for myself is little or no socialzation with the outside world. Conversation only goes so far with a two year old. At times I do get to escape. However, it's rare because I am very picky who sits my daughter.

And yes! Thank goodness for technology!!
 
 
By Irina H. on Sun Apr 10, 2011 at 1:21 AM EDT
I was the same way! We switched our membership to a limited one which only
allows me to send up to 10 e-mails/month. I can't recall the monthly fee since
it gets debited from my fiance's cc, but I stumbled upon this option when he
asked me to get a babysitter or cancel our membership because I wasn't using it!
I suppose care.com gives offers this once you are a member so that you won't
completely cancel the membership.

As a former sitter myself, I can tell you that I applied for a nanny position
and during the interview the mom walked me up to her son's room then left us
there for a bit. I thought this was strange at first, but then I realized the
monitor was on and she was listening (possibly watching) how I interacted with
her son. Maybe you can interview a few people and try this out. As for a nanny
cam, I'm pretty sure another couple I babysat for five years ago had one. They
seemed to know a lot about what was going on while I sat for their 1 year old.
If he napped in his crib or playpen, how long we were at the park... The mom
even commented on how wonderful I was with her son and all the activities we
did. Things she could not possibly know unless I was being watched. They never
told me they had a cam, but I was fine with it. At the time, my oldest was about
7 years old and just as any parent, I would expect the best care for him. I
behaved the same regardless, but I do think it is a courtesy to ask a sitter how
they feel about a cam if you decide to go with one.

In any event, hiring someone to come in for just an hour is not dumb! My son is
now 17 months old and because I had to be somewhere last minute and my mom
wasn't available, I was left with no other choice. Fortunately, my fiance works
from home so he was here the whole time (just in case). I did a lot of intense
screening after so many girls applied to my job post, but finally, I knew she
was the one. The sitter came for three hours and everything went very well. She
even sent us a handwritten note expressing her thanks for allowing her to care
for our son and gave us all her contact info.
I'm actually now looking forward to having our new girl come back, although she
does charge more than average ($15/Hr). We are now slowly trying to get
comfortable with the thought of someone being here while we're not, but don't
worry you'll get there.





________________________________
 
 
By Megan S. on Sun Apr 10, 2011 at 9:27 AM EDT
You are just like most new moms. We didn't hv a sitter for our baby until he was a yr old bc I was so nervous. Was going to put up cameras then decided not too. Used care.com and unfortunately went through two"nannies" who were horrible. Thank goodness cleaning woman filled me in
I ended up finding a college grad the one day I left to pamper myself some.although young she was better w the kids than the mother of three I had and a 41 yr old w no children and great references. The references were friends
If you can ask around and fin someone that other ppl know
I now have another baby and our nanny moved away who used to watch the kids on wknds. We r at square one but def leave for an hr and whatever you r comfortable with!! It is your child and you want the best Care. I would get the nanny cam bc it can only help and give u a sense of security
Most nannies should know in this day and age they could very well be watched. Not uncommon!!!

Sent from my iPhone

On Apr 10, 2011, at 12:54 AM, "Crystal C." <stayathomemoms@groups.care.com> wrote:

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By Rosie T. on Tue Oct 18, 2011 at 7:15 AM EDT
I am so glad I'm not the only one nervous about leaving my little one. My daughter is almost 1yr old and my hubby and I have only been out once, and that was a flop. We're now hoping to get out this Saturday (10/22/11) for my birthday and hoping my husband's mom can babysit (Gramma K). Gramma K keeps pushing for our daughter to stay with her overnight and we are NOT comfortable with that at all. She lives almost an hour away and doesn't have a strong relationship with her yet. Unfortunately my mom is becoming elderly and has some health problems, otherwise we'd use her in a heartbeat since she had 7 kids and is what I call a "professional" mom :) If my husband's mom can't babysit I'm going to use Care.com to find a babysitter so we can at least go out to dinner and have a few drinks, we need a date-night desperately, we actually miss each other...which is a good thing sometimes...but we need one-on-one time to reconnect. I actually have butterflies in my tummy looking forward to our date!
 
 
By Delia W. on Tue Oct 18, 2011 at 12:24 PM EDT
If ur feeling anxious about leaving, try short trips at first. Leave her while u go shopping together or run other errands. It's hard getting 1 on 1 time with our 4 small ones too!! :-) HAPPY BIRTHDAY
 
 
By Rebecca P. on Tue Oct 25, 2011 at 9:10 PM EDT
Hi Crystal,

I was the same way for a loooooonnng time...You are not alone! My son is two now, but I remember that I did not leave him with anyone (even family) until he was about 9 months old. I nursed my son as well, and I felt responsible and wanted to be with him almost constantly.

When I realized that I need some time away from him, it took me a very long time to actually do that. I do let family members care for him now in their homes, but only quite recently. Most of them were patient with me, understanding that some first-time moms are simply this way...

I just started looking on care.com for other help, so that I will have more time to clean, run errands, or meet with friends and be able to focus on THEM.

I love being with my son, and I used to feel that if I left him with someone else, I might miss something amazing because he IS amazing! And I was incredibly concerned and nervous that he might get hurt (or worse) if I was not there to protect him. Yet, slowly, I realized that 1. I can make the effort to learn to trust competent caregivers (including my family), 2. They will not take care of him the same way I do, but he will still be in good hands, and 3. I do benefit from time apart, even when I am thinking of him the entire time.

Taking some time for you makes you a good mom because you need that time to rest, or connect with your husband-which is definately good for yor son-to have parents that have a strong relationship with eachother. Children need that- even babies. And you and your husband will certainly benefit from it as well.

You may not be ready yet. (I know I was not.) Someday, though, you will be....You'll know.
 
 
By Valerie S. on Mon Apr 9, 2012 at 4:30 PM EDT
Most of you are doing much better than I ever did! My son is 3.5 and we just recently found a sitter on here for him. I asked her to come meet our family first, then I scheduled her to come over for an hour the next day while I was home "getting things done" I'd go in and out of the house to see how my child handled it, and also to see what was happening when I'd come back. I could tell my toddler was being entertained and she was being nice to him based on his uninterest in me. I then scheduled her for a couple days later for 3 hours, 1 hour I stayed home and got some things done around the house, then I left for an hour and came back, my son actually asked if i could go shopping again....lol
But believe me even at 6 months old you will know how he feels by how he acts when you arrive home, is he sleeping at unusual times while you are gone? (boredom) is he snacking more than usual while you are no there? (keeps him quiet-or the sitter doesn't know what else to do) is he interacting with the sitter after getting to kknow her? eye contact with her means he feels safe, is he just crying the whole time? could be seperation anxiety , so try not to panik, gotta use your judment on how he is with everyone....
 
 
By Candise D. on Mon Oct 1, 2012 at 5:43 PM EDT
The biggest challange is is not having any friends to vent too, and being closed up in the house all the time moving from the kitchen to the living room, the living room to the dining room from the dining room up stairs back down stairs to cookin cleaning all day long tending to the kids and still on my feet when the school kids make it home still doing the same thing. I dont have enough time to study read my bible or even think. The Biggest is not being able to pursue my calling in ministry starting my women's group and other small business i want to do. So it has took a toll on me mentally as well as physically now being bipolar and having other conditions.
 
 
By Shana H. on Tue Oct 2, 2012 at 2:22 PM EDT
Hi Candise D.

It's good to know that I am not alone in having no friends to vent to or having to real time to think and pursue my passion. I am a stay at home mom and it gets so frustrating and overwhelming that sometimes I really dont know what else I can do. I would love to have a "grown up" life outside of being a mom and wife, but i've put my needs and wants on the back burner for so long that im not really sure how to go about pursuing them anymore.