We Are Family: A Conversation with Kate - LesBeMums - Care.com Resources

Articles & Guides

What can we help you find?

We Are Family: A Conversation with Kate – LesBeMums

We Are Family: A Conversation with Kate – LesBeMums

Q: In which “type” of family structure did you grow up yourself?

A: My sister and I grew up in your ‘typical’ 80’s/90’s family. One mum, one dad. But they were very diverse for that period. My mum had a number two haircut, for example! Early on they taught us about treating everyone as equals.

Sharon also grew up in a very typical, nuclear family set up with her mum, dad, and younger brother. Dad worked for most of her childhood, whereas her mum bounced between a SAHM and part time worker. 

Oddly, we grew up in the same area (even being born in the same hospital!) just five years apart

Q: When did you wish to have your own children?

A: Goodness, when I was in my mid to late twenties! Before then, I had no inclination to have children. I wasn’t even that maternal. It’s only when I had been with my wife for a number of years that my body told me I suddenly needed children. It was quite a shock.

Q: How did the family construct in which you now live evolve?

A: Sharon and I met online over ten years ago and now the rest is history. When we finally decided to have children, we had been together for around 5 years and then we were trying for another two years. It felt like a lifetime, but at the same time it’s crazy that we now have a three year old.

Q: Have your children questioned their family model? Have you even been questioned about your family model at school/kindergarten?

A: T is probably too young to really question things, but he sure as hell corrects people when they ask about his ‘Mummy & Daddy’. In regards to other people? No. Not at all. Which is a good thing, I think. People are more accepting, or they certainly are where we live. We’re incredibly lucky as I know not everywhere is like that.

Q: How do people in your environment respond to your family? Have you ever felt discriminated against as a family? If so, how did you handle the situation?

A: They welcome it with open arms! They find it interesting and wonderful at the same time – people often tell us. There’s probably only been one occasion where we felt discriminated against, and that was when our son hadn’t been invited to a party that all his other friends had – but then I tell myself that that is their problem and not ours. If anything, I feel sorry for them and wouldn’t want my son around someone like that any way. There’s some people you just cannot engage with.

Q: On a scale of 0 to 10: How much do you feel your family model is accepted by society? (0 = not accepted at all, 10 = fully accepted)

A: 8-ish. I am very aware that there are groups out there that don’t accept or like us and think that we’re damaging our children, so that’s what lowers the score – we’re not blind. However, things have changed drastically over the last few years and I can see people fighting back against discrimination. I think it’s because families like mine are actively making themselves more visible. Plus, the media are (slowly) becoming more inclusive in their advertising.

Q: What’s the best thing about your family?

A: Probably the love we show for each other and other people. We want to teach our son that Love is Love and that Love will always win.

Q: What do you wish for your family in the future?

A: That we’re represented in mainstream society and seen for the family that we are. I want to see families like us on the TV and in books. I don’t want to see that look in people’s eyes when they’re trying to work us out.

About Kate:

Kate and Sharon live near Brighton with their three year old son ‘T’. They write a blog called ‘Lesbemums’ which details life as a Same Sex Family. They talk about a variety of topics from family life, their travels, to LGBT issues.

You can check out other We Are Family interviews with more parent bloggers here

Like what you're reading?

Join Care for FREE

Please enter a valid email address

Click 'Next' to start an account and get tips, tricks and trending stories.

Already Registered

The email address you entered is already registered. Would you like to log in?

Log in

Almost done!

Join Care for FREE

Create a free account to access our nation wide network of background checked caregivers.

Please enter first name

Please enter last name

Please enter a valid zip code

By clicking "Join now," you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Welcome to Care!

You're on your way to finding someone your family will love.

Start now