I hope everyone in this group is doing well and finding some balance in juggling everything! Curious: what types of child care arrangments do you have? Traditional day care? In home? Pieced together? Is it working?

My husband and I both come from big families, so we aren't very picky about our privacy. We only need a "nanny" for thirty or so hours a week, but felt our extra bedroom was an under-used commodity. We have had two people willing to work for combination of a salary plus room and board. They sign a one year (August to May--we are both educators) contract and get first crack at any extra hours. When they are not working their scheduled hours, they enjoy roommate status.

It was very, very hard both times finding the right person and right fit (we interviewed almost fifteen people both times and had a second paid interview (come sit for four hours) with at least six candidates both yearly hiring periods. I usually begin advertising in late April and have successfully had someone in place by July 1st.

We love the arrangement because we feel that anyone who watches our son that amount of time is going to become a familial part of his world, so it feels natural they should become part of our family too. Our first year nanny was a young professional taking a break from the corporate/post-grad school grind and even though she left us at the end of her contract to go back to making the big bucks, she's close enough with us that she feels comfortable stopping by to visit us or having us come stay with her at her new place. That's been a great perk--our son doesn't have to lose touch with people who are important to him because we, as adults, have a relationship with that person which is just as intimate.

As far as the employee/employer experience goes, we were very clear in our contract about our expectations and what was a deal breaker for our household in our last "sign on the dotted line" interview, so candidates can back out without awkwardness if we weren't in sync with their lifestyle (that's also what the second "four hour babysit while we hang out close by" interview was for---so we could check the candidate out, but also so they had enough experience with being our household to decide if they would be comfortable with us).
Our first year nanny was really good and clear about being professional and communicating about the job and her hours even though she was living with us. When her officially posted hours were done, she was off the clock and great about giving us the lead . She had taken the year off to reboot and so she had a few other irons in the fire--getting in great physical shape, a budding new romance, etc. The relationship we had with her ended being more like my son's youngest, hippest, super responsible aunt was living with us and we had asked her to watch him until 3:00 o'clock every day.

Our second year candidate is a young (early sixties) retiree who used to run a daycare and has recently moved back into the area. She is an extremely energetic person who took the job because she doesn't need to work, wanted a place to live that didn't chain her down to a mortgage, loves kids and pampering people and hates to sit around. She is fantastic and is spoiling us rotten, doing things around the house because to quote her, "I like to clean and he sleeps for three hours. It keeps me busy." The relationship we are quickly developing with her is "Grandma for hire." It has made it much more tricky emotionally because if she's in the house, she is willing and actively campaigning to care for my son, even if it's not her posted hours. My husband and I feel very spoiled and have had discussions on our own and with her about our appreciation and discomfort that she is offering support well beyond our contractual expectations and, frankly, our financial compensation. What we have come to is this understanding: if she initiates the offer to take him or watch him beyond her hours, we consider that her personal decision and cannot compensate her for it, shouldn't feel guilty about it (although I admit I do) and we should just be grateful for the flexibility (i.e., "I'm just going to stay in and read---you two should go out to a movie"). But even if she volunteers to take our son during a time beyond her hours when we would probably need someone anyway, we are going to insist on paying her (i.e., I needed to go under for a medical procedure and my husband needed to drive me home. It was her day off, but when we were discussing plans, she said she would stay with our son so my husband wouldn't have to bother entertaining my son in the waiting room. We insisted on paying her for her time). It's a slippery slope, and we are a bit concerned, but we have had a clear discussion as a couple about it and reminded ourselves to stay vigilant about our discipline as employers and call each other out if we fall into a habit of taking advantage of her enthusiasm to spoil us. With our nanny, we have reiterated this point: "We don't ever expect anything beyond your contractual obligations. We will NEVER expect it, we will always appreciate it."

So that's how it's working for us. I know some people think it's a crazy arrangement and especially in the interviewing phase it feels like an insane gamble, but we have had really positive experiences so far. The only thing that is hard is that we really do miss our nannies when they move on. I'm still mourning the absence of our first year nanny---but we also get to Skype with her once a month, so she is staying a part of my son's life. That may be an unanticipated benefit/difficulty of this arrangement--my son may have a collection of five or six adults in his life to whom he is very, very close before he hits kindergarten.

Anybody else out there doing something like this?