{"id":59039,"date":"2024-01-26T04:45:52","date_gmt":"2024-01-26T04:45:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/?p=59039"},"modified":"2024-01-26T04:45:52","modified_gmt":"2024-01-26T04:45:52","slug":"funny-parenting-tweets-romance-when-you-have-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/funny-parenting-tweets-romance-when-you-have-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"17 tweets that sum up &#8220;romance&#8221; when you have kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Chill the champagne. Or forget to pick it up in the first place, because, you know, kids. While no parent will argue with the fact that children add an immeasurable amount of joy in life, when it comes to the romance department, they&rsquo;re not exactly enhancers. Put another way: Where your date nights may have once consisted of intimate conversation at a fancy restaurant, they now are conducted over the background din of &ldquo;Bubble Guppies&rdquo; while the smell of chicken nuggets permeates the air. Lil&rsquo; different. <\/p><p>From worrying about the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/how-much-does-a-babysitter-cost-babysitting-guide\/\">cost of a babysitter<\/a> to getting real about what&rsquo;s actually sexy to them, 17 parents get unabashedly real about their romantic lives. Or lack thereof. <\/p><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Take me, I&rsquo;m yours<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">the six most romantic words you can say to a person: &ldquo;i bought you a rotisserie chicken&rdquo;<\/p>&mdash; Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Kristen_Arnett\/status\/1643406369423343617?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">April 5, 2023<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-the-ultimate-night-out\">2. The ultimate night out<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">My husband asked if I wanted to do something fun so I left him home with the kids. <br><br>Marriage is easy.<\/p>&mdash; Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/sarcasticmommy4\/status\/601946639578738689?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">May 23, 2015<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Sometimes, you need to improvise <\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Going out on a date with my husband tonight. Still deciding if we'll converse with or ignore the three kids tagging along.<\/p>&mdash; Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/KateWhineHall\/status\/525646732244549632?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">October 24, 2014<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. Same sentence, different meaning <\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">&ldquo;I&rsquo;m not wearing a bra.&rdquo;<br><br>Before kids: flirting<br><br>After kids: a warning<\/p>&mdash; Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/thearibradford\/status\/1244308168882008064?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">March 29, 2020<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">5. To be fair, dogs don&rsquo;t whine <\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Imagine: you&rsquo;re a 5 year old child and it&rsquo;s date night for the parents. They hire you a babysitter but take the dog out with them<\/p>&mdash; abrrham (@abraheezy) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/abraheezy\/status\/1487250184631304196?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 29, 2022<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">6. Need more be said?<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Any time parents try to have a romantic moment <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/KIDRmLAvBC\">pic.twitter.com\/KIDRmLAvBC<\/a><\/p>&mdash; A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/HomeWithPeanut\/status\/1460807479646900231?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">November 17, 2021<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">7. Which seems more alluring?<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.<\/p>&mdash; Simon Holland (@simoncholland) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/simoncholland\/status\/511118222704517120?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">September 14, 2014<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">8. Restaurants: before and after <\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">me at restaurants before kids: \"Allow the dining experience to wash over you. Don't rush it!\"<br><br>after kids:<br><br>&ndash; read menu beforehand<br>&ndash; pick out exact order<br>&ndash; place orders as soon as we sit down<br>&ndash; give server credit card with order<br>&ndash; in and out in under 25 minutes<br>&ndash; 25%+ tip<\/p>&mdash; jxf@mastodon.social (@jxxf) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/jxxf\/status\/1221106954375958529?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 25, 2020<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">9. Talk about romantical <\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Writing a Valentine's Day poem for the love of my life called: <br><br>\"Hey. Let's Stay Awake After the Kids Go to Bed and Have a Quickie.\"<\/p>&mdash; Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/yenniwhite\/status\/830065117064740865?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">February 10, 2017<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">10. This is kind of beautiful, actually<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">My son asked what marriage is like, so I said imagine having only one video game, and it loves you forever and puts up with all your crap<\/p>&mdash; Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/PJTLynch\/status\/520385569818300416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">October 10, 2014<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">11. Romance, but make it efficient<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">wife &amp; I started scheduling date night between midnight &amp; 7am, we just sleep the whole time, but at least we&rsquo;re doing something together<\/p>&mdash; Grant Tanaka: Honky (@GrantTanaka) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/GrantTanaka\/status\/1028093821974765568?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">August 11, 2018<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">12. A child wise beyond their years <\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">10 said she doesn't like my coffee breath, but she'd rather deal with that than my \"decaf personality,\" I think she's figured out marriage.<\/p>&mdash; AparnaRC (@Wordesse) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Wordesse\/status\/1461334664870653960?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">November 18, 2021<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">13. Date nights aren&rsquo;t as cheap as they once were <\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Me: We should have a date night next weekend.<br><br>Wife: A babysitter will cost $150.<br><br>Me: We should have a date night when the kids move out.<\/p>&mdash; James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/XplodingUnicorn\/status\/808333187671846912?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">December 12, 2016<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">14. When the mystique runs dry&hellip;<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">[First Date]<br>I hope he brings me somewhere nice<br><br>[9 yr anniversary]<br><br>DID YOU USE THE CASH BACK ON DINING CARD? WHERE'S THE COUPON I GAVE YOU<\/p>&mdash; Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/LurkAtHomeMom\/status\/911749727569444864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">September 24, 2017<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">15. It&rsquo;s kinda the best of both worlds<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Me: Babe, the kid is asleep. Wanna pour a drink and&hellip;<br>Jayson: Go on?<br>Me: &hellip;organize our bulk Pok&eacute;mon cards and pull the holos?<br><br>And some say romance is dead. <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/r05ZmV1a6u\">pic.twitter.com\/r05ZmV1a6u<\/a><\/p>&mdash; Brittney Brombacher (@BlondeNerd) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/BlondeNerd\/status\/1444544202520481793?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">October 3, 2021<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">16. Can&rsquo;t wait to run away, er&hellip; connect! <\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Date night tonight for the first time in months. Still no clue what we're doing but I'm so excited to get away from the kids. <br><br>I mean&hellip; to spend some lovely quality time with my husband. Yeah, that's it.<\/p>&mdash; &#128420; Just Heather &#128420; (@weedswildflowrs) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/weedswildflowrs\/status\/1485002328394588160?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 22, 2022<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">17. Because coordinating moms&rsquo; schedules is damn-near impossible <\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">It&rsquo;s our wedding anniversary today &ndash; so obviously my wife is out for a girls&rsquo; night while I&rsquo;m watching Avengers films with the kids. Who says romance is dead? &#129315; <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/dQAqERrRRS\">pic.twitter.com\/dQAqERrRRS<\/a><\/p>&mdash; Tim | ThatchamDad (@thatchamdad) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/thatchamdad\/status\/1159891211127275521?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">August 9, 2019<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Parents get hilariously real on how unromantic life can be after you have kids. Because &#8220;date night&#8221; after babies is, uh, well, different. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1273,"featured_media":59049,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"enable_toc":false,"care_reviewed_by":0,"care_post_updated_flag":false,"care_updated_date":"","last_update":"2024-01-26","view_count":1723,"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"member-type":[3],"vertical":[6,17],"platform":[2],"class_list":["post-59039","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","member-type-seeker","vertical-children","vertical-child-care-advice","platform-resources"],"acf":[],"created":"2022-01-31","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59039","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1273"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=59039"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59039\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":193764,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59039\/revisions\/193764"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/59049"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=59039"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=59039"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=59039"},{"taxonomy":"member-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/member-type?post=59039"},{"taxonomy":"vertical","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/vertical?post=59039"},{"taxonomy":"platform","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/platform?post=59039"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}