{"id":5899,"date":"2023-11-29T19:15:03","date_gmt":"2023-11-29T19:15:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/s37407.p1377.sites.pressdns.com\/resources\/parenting-tweets-resolutions\/"},"modified":"2023-11-29T19:15:03","modified_gmt":"2023-11-29T19:15:03","slug":"parenting-tweets-resolutions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/parenting-tweets-resolutions\/","title":{"rendered":"15 parents share New Year&#8217;s resolutions just to amuse us all"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>New Year&rsquo;s resolutions. They can be tough sledding. And when you have kids, they feel even harder to keep. Whether it&rsquo;s because you&rsquo;re a little more tired, a little more stressed, a little more pressed for time &mdash; or all of the above &mdash; the odds are not ever in your resolution favor when you&rsquo;re a parent. Sorry, friends.&nbsp;<\/p><p>From promises of more patience to the outright thwarting of virtuous plans (thanks, kids), here are 15 relatable parenting resolutions from past and present. New year, new you? Not so fast.<\/p><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Starting off strong<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Jan 1, 2022, 12:01am: \"My 2022 resolution is to be more patient with my kids, &amp; to yell less.\"<br><br>Jan 1, 2022, 7am: <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/XIMsQ29efS\">pic.twitter.com\/XIMsQ29efS<\/a><\/p>&mdash; Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Six_Pack_Mom\/status\/1476961471640870913?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">December 31, 2021<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. When your kid meets you halfway<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">I told my teens that my New Year's resolution was to give them more hugs. My son looked me dead in the eye and said, \"But not in public, right?\" So my 2022 mission is to give them \"public hugs.\"<\/p>&mdash; KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/IDontSpeakWhine\/status\/1477276615805739015?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 1, 2022<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Hey, at least there&rsquo;s an excuse to buy the family size<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">New year, new me.<br><br>Sorry I meant new year, new family bag of Doritos new bar of snickers and new box of donuts.<\/p>&mdash; MumInBits (@MumInBits) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MumInBits\/status\/1212737220903342080?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 2, 2020<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. Is the option even up to you when you&rsquo;re a parent?<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">I can&rsquo;t decide if my New Year's resolution should be to try to sleep more or to just give up sleep completely.<\/p>&mdash; The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/ParentNormal\/status\/683308016884559872?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 2, 2016<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">5. All you can do is try<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">https:\/\/twitter.com\/LetMeStart\/status\/684097465587527680<\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">6. Any volunteers<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">My New Year's resolution is to teach my kids the fine art of patience. I just need to find someone to teach it to me first.<\/p>&mdash; -sour flower- &dagger; (@bumpin_mama) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/bumpin_mama\/status\/1079998242132279296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 1, 2019<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">7. When the kids get in on the fun<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">\"I will rub my boy bits all over the bed when mom tries to change my diaper, and never sleep.\"<br>My son's New Year's Resolutions, apparently.<\/p>&mdash; MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MyMomologue\/status\/815981233784045568?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 2, 2017<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">8. Slim chance<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">As a parent, my only New Year's resolution is to give less than 30% of my salary in 2016 to the Disney Corporation.<\/p>&mdash; Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Cheeseboy22\/status\/682744969551974400?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 1, 2016<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">9. Sometimes, it&rsquo;s the little things&nbsp;<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Everyone&rsquo;s all &ldquo;New Year, New Me&rdquo; and I&rsquo;m just over here wishing it were summer so my kids could get a bath in the sprinklers.<\/p>&mdash; Maryfairyboberry&#129498;&#127995;&zwj;&#9792;&#65039; (@maryfairybobrry) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/maryfairybobrry\/status\/1212450977342734336?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 1, 2020<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">10. This is awkward&nbsp;<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">\"My new year's resolution is never to be on my phone in front of my kids. It's going to be tough, but I think I can do it &ndash; I'm just really gonna miss my kids.\"<\/p>&mdash; Eli Steinberg (@HaMeturgeman) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/HaMeturgeman\/status\/1080252160917544960?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 1, 2019<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-11-let-s-keep-this-between-us\">11. Let&rsquo;s keep this between us<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">My new year's resolution is to throw my kids' \"artwork\" into the outside bin, rather than have them find it in the kitchen bin and interrogate me as to how it got there<\/p>&mdash; Robin Peake (@robin_peake) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/robin_peake\/status\/1476228529964658692?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">December 29, 2021<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">12. Dad jokes for days&nbsp;<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">\"See you next year!\" on New Year's Eve is the Super Bowl of Dad Jokes. Congrats to all the guys out there named Rick and Wayne today living the dream<\/p>&mdash; Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MarkAgee\/status\/947508595146575872?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">December 31, 2017<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">13. Annnd that&rsquo;s when it all goes to crap&nbsp;<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">My New Year's resolution of trying to have more patience was going well until I realized I still had kids.<\/p>&mdash; Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/sarcasticmommy4\/status\/684085226348261376?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 4, 2016<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">14. Killing it, kiddo&nbsp;<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Just told 10 he needs to shower tonight &amp; he said, &ldquo;Ok. Showering is one of my New Year&rsquo;s Resolutions.&rdquo;<br><br>&#129318;&zwj;&#9792;&#65039;<\/p>&mdash; Unfiltered Mama &#128151;&#9996;&#65039; (@UnfilteredMama) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/UnfilteredMama\/status\/1212579408520736768?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 2, 2020<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">15. When you crack hard&nbsp;<\/h2><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">If you&rsquo;re a parent whose New Years resolution was to stop drinking coffee, I don&rsquo;t want you to feel bad that you failed before 9am. It&rsquo;s not you. It&rsquo;s them. It&rsquo;s always them&hellip;<\/p>&mdash; Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/kevinthedad\/status\/1345106172509085697?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 1, 2021<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div><\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From promises of more patience to the thwarting of virtuous plans (thanks, kids), here are 15 parents&#8217; relatable New Year&#8217;s resolutions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1273,"featured_media":90965,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"enable_toc":false,"care_reviewed_by":0,"care_post_updated_flag":false,"care_updated_date":"","last_update":"2023-11-29","view_count":3902,"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"member-type":[3],"vertical":[6,17,12],"platform":[2],"class_list":["post-5899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","member-type-seeker","vertical-children","vertical-child-care-advice","vertical-holidays-seasons","platform-resources"],"acf":[],"created":"2020-01-02","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1273"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5899"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5899\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":189759,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5899\/revisions\/189759"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/90965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5899"},{"taxonomy":"member-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/member-type?post=5899"},{"taxonomy":"vertical","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/vertical?post=5899"},{"taxonomy":"platform","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/platform?post=5899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}