{"id":569,"date":"2025-07-07T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-07-07T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/s37407.p1377.sites.pressdns.com\/resources\/7-ways-to-boost-kids-confidence\/"},"modified":"2025-07-07T15:17:42","modified_gmt":"2025-07-07T15:17:42","slug":"ways-to-build-confidence-in-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/ways-to-build-confidence-in-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"8 ways to build confidence in kids (and why it\u2019s so important)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>While some kids seem to naturally exude it, the truth is, <a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2021\/08\/how-to-build-confidence-at-work\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">confidence can be learned<\/a> or improved upon even in children; and parents and caregivers are the perfect teachers.<\/p><p>But why spend time on confidence building activities for kids when you already have a kid-centric to-do list a mile long? Because confidence, notes <a href=\"https:\/\/www.choosingtherapy.com\/melissa-boudin-psyd\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Melissa Boudin<\/a>, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, affects the way a child &ldquo;interacts with almost every aspect of their environment.&rdquo;&nbsp;Put another way: It&rsquo;s the proverbial backbone of your child&rsquo;s life. <\/p><p>&ldquo;[Confidence] impacts how they interact with their family, their peers at school and with their teachers, how they approach academics, social situations and more,&rdquo; she explains. &ldquo;It can also impact how vulnerable a child is to developing mental health issues, experiencing bullying and experiencing abuse.&rdquo;<\/p><p>Whether your child could use a confidence boost in school or in social situations, here&rsquo;s advice on how to build confidence in kids, according to experts.&nbsp;<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-custom-dynamic-list key-takeaways-block\"><h3>Key takeaways<\/h3><div class=\"key-takeaways-container\"><ul><li>Confidence shapes how kids learn, socialize and handle challenges. <\/li><li>It can be strengthened through praise for effort, responsibility and support. <\/li><li>Building it early helps kids grow into capable, resilient adults.<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-building-confidence-in-kids-practical-tips\" data-toc-id=\"a8eafac1\">Building confidence in kids: practical tips<\/h2><p>If your child isn&rsquo;t brimming with confidence (or even if they are), there are ways to give it a boost. Here are tips for building confidence in kids, according to Boudin, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.choosingtherapy.com\/luke-prest-md\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Dr. Luke Prest<\/a>, a board-certified pediatrician at the Children&rsquo;s Hospital of Philadelphia and <a href=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/therapist\/nc\/marisha-larae-mathis\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Marisha Mathis<\/a>, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in children, teens and families dealing with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/how-to-help-kids-with-anxiety\/\">anxiety<\/a>, depression and self-esteem at <a href=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/raleigh-counseling\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Thriveworks<\/a> in Raleigh, North Carolina:<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-start-with-activities-they-re-already-confident-in\">1. Start with activities they&rsquo;re already confident in<\/h3><p>Since new things can feel extra challenging for kids struggling with confidence, Boudin recommends encouraging engagement in activities that they feel confident in. &ldquo;Encourage and celebrate their ability within that,&rdquo; she says, &ldquo;and use those strengths as a stepping point for them to try new things.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><p>When your child moves onto the next thing, be sure to offer a lot of support. &ldquo;As they try new things, work with them closely,&rdquo; continues Boudin. &ldquo;Show them how to do new things and work with them through doing it on their own.&rdquo;<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-celebrate-failures\">2. Celebrate &ldquo;failures&rdquo;<\/h3><p>Encouraging your child to have a &ldquo;<a href=\"https:\/\/online.hbs.edu\/blog\/post\/growth-mindset-vs-fixed-mindset\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">growth mindset<\/a>&rdquo; &mdash; viewing skills as learnable, as opposed to set in stone &mdash; can help build confidence; and one way to do this, notes Boudin, is to &ldquo;celebrate &lsquo;failures&rsquo; as learning opportunities that bring them closer to accomplishment.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><p>For instance, while a child doesn&rsquo;t have to be happy that they didn&rsquo;t win the science fair, ultimately, they should take away something they know they should do differently next time. (In other words: They eventually should come to the realization that they&rsquo;re closer now than they previously were.)<\/p><p>Mathis agrees, noting that parents and caregivers should offer support and encouragement to kids &ldquo;even when their attempts don&rsquo;t yield the results they were hoping for.&rdquo;<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-help-them-set-goals\">3. Help them set goals<\/h3><p>According to Prest, parents and caregivers should ensure their childs #goals are more than just a hashtag. &ldquo;Offering praise for achieving goals, even small goals, can have a major impact,&rdquo; he says.&nbsp;<\/p><p>&ldquo;A child&rsquo;s confidence can grow when they feel included and have a sense of purpose,&rdquo; he continues. &ldquo;This can be brought about by getting them involved in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/the-top-20-sports-for-kids\/\">activities with others<\/a> where they can establish relationships and make friends. Helping your child set goals and achieve these goals can be impactful.&rdquo;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-give-them-real-responsibility\">4. Give them (real) responsibility<\/h3><p>Does your child have a half-hearted <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/age-appropriate-chores-for-kids\/\">chore list<\/a>? Consider bumping their responsibilities up a notch (or three).<\/p><p>&ldquo;Parents should keep in mind that they need to give their child a chance to show they are responsible,&rdquo; Prest says. &ldquo;If there are tasks to be done around the house, allowing a child to complete those tasks on their own without being continuously monitored can help establish a sense of responsibility and trust.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><p>Giving kids real opportunities to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/how-to-teach-kids-to-clean-their-room\/\">contribute at home<\/a> also gives kids the &ldquo;chance to make real decisions, which can boost confidence.&rdquo; (Read: There&rsquo;s not much to deliberate over when making their bed.)<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-make-sure-they-have-a-sense-of-community\">5. Make sure they have a sense of community<\/h3><p>Having a <a href=\"https:\/\/downloads.hindawi.com\/journals\/tswj\/2009\/828279.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">sense of community<\/a> comes with a host of benefits, and one of them, Prest notes, is confidence. &ldquo;Family and community pride can boost self-esteem significantly,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;Some ways to encourage this pride are by participating in community events, having relationships with extended family members and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/questions-to-ask-parents-grandparents-and-older-adults\/\">learning about family history<\/a>.&rdquo;<\/p><p>Children will also be more confident, he says, if parents and peers are confident themselves. &ldquo;A child will be more confident if there is confidence among the family and community.&rdquo;<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-6-practice-positive-affirmations\">6. Practice positive affirmations<\/h3><p>&ldquo;Practice positive affirmations as a family, and with your child individually, to increase confidence,&rdquo; Boudin notes. &ldquo;Affirmations can help children see themselves as stronger, increasingly able, aware and in control of themselves\/their environment, which in turn can increase their self-confidence.&rdquo;<\/p><p>If <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=xNx_gU57gQ4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Stuart Smalley<\/a> immediately comes to mind when you hear the word &ldquo;affirmations,&rdquo; trust in the fact that they&rsquo;ve come a long way from the &ldquo;and doggone it, people like me&rdquo; days. There are a number of truly empowering <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/positive-affirmations-for-kids\/\">affirmations for kids<\/a> today!<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-7-avoid-praising-qualities\">7. Avoid praising qualities<\/h3><p>It&rsquo;s more important, and confidence-boosting, to &ldquo;praise effort, rather than qualities,&rdquo; Boudin says.&nbsp;<\/p><p>&ldquo;Praising qualities, such as &lsquo;being smart,&rsquo; can lead a child to feel they are not smart when they get something wrong or fail,&rdquo; she explains. &ldquo;Praising a child&rsquo;s effort and hard work instead will lead kids to believe that they can work through those challenges, problems or failures.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p>&nbsp;&ldquo;Praising a child&rsquo;s effort and hard work instead will lead kids to believe that they can work through those challenges, problems or failures.&rdquo;&nbsp;<br><\/p><cite>&mdash; Melissa Boudin, clinical psychologist<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-8-get-professional-help-if-necessary\">8. Get professional help, if necessary<\/h3><p>If your child doesn&rsquo;t seem to be gaining confidence through attempts you&rsquo;re making, or if there are &ldquo;changes in moods or patterns,&rdquo; Mathis recommends asking questions, allowing honesty and transparency, and potentially, advocating for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/types-of-therapy-for-children\/\">professional help<\/a>.<\/p><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-is-building-confidence-in-kids-important\" data-toc-id=\"516dca2d\">Why is building confidence in kids important?<\/h2><p>Confidence can be thought of as a person&rsquo;s mental and emotional scaffolding, as it plays a role in virtually every aspect of their life. For kids, confidence is a particularly important strength to hone since they&rsquo;re still growing and figuring out their place in the world.&nbsp;<\/p><p>In other words: It&rsquo;s easier &mdash; and more beneficial &mdash; to work on this skill early on.<\/p><p>&ldquo;Developing confidence and self-esteem is an important part of childhood development,&rdquo; notes Prest. &ldquo;Confidence can influence how they react in situations, and it plays a role in their motivation, achievement and relationships.<strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-causes-lack-of-confidence-in-a-child\" data-toc-id=\"ad3a990d\">What causes lack of confidence in a child?<\/h2><p>While some research has shown there&rsquo;s a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/journals\/twin-research-and-human-genetics\/article\/genetic-and-familial-influences-on-selfperception-in-early-childhood-and-selfesteem-in-adulthood-a-crosssectional-analysis\/3230365794EB63A721660B4AE679E37E\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">genetic component to confidence<\/a> (some people are just naturally born with more), a number of factors can have an impact, as well.<\/p><p>&ldquo;When a child feels they don&rsquo;t have a sense of purpose or belonging, they can begin to develop low confidence,&rdquo; says Prest. &ldquo;Additionally, if they don&rsquo;t know where they fit in within the family and community structure, their confidence can be negatively impacted. They can also develop low confidence if they don&rsquo;t feel trusted or listened to by family members.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><p>According to Mathis, low confidence can also be linked to: <\/p><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Failure.<\/li><li>Ridicule.<\/li><li>Lack of support.<\/li><li>Bullying.<\/li><li>Fear.<\/li><\/ul><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-impact-of-low-confidence-in-school-and-life\" data-toc-id=\"02551be5\">The impact of low confidence in school (and life)<\/h2><p>While healthy confidence can beget healthy relationships, motivation and more, lack of confidence can have the opposite effect &mdash; particularly in the school setting.&nbsp;<\/p><p>&ldquo;Low confidence can impact a child&rsquo;s grades, the way that they learn and take in information, their desire to learn and their likelihood to ask questions in order to understand things,&rdquo; explains Boudin.&nbsp;<\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p>&ldquo;Low confidence can impact a child&rsquo;s grades, the way that they learn and take in information, their desire to learn and their likelihood to ask questions in order to understand things.&rdquo;<\/p><cite>&mdash; Melissa Boudin, clinical psychologist<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure><p>Additionally, Boudin notes, a lack of confidence can impact kids socially by &ldquo;either limiting their friendships or making them susceptible to &lsquo;friendships&rsquo; that are abusive or take advantage of them, as well as bullying.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><p>Kids with low confidence, Boudin continues, can also wind up feeling like they have &ldquo;little control over their environment,&rdquo; which can potentially lead to &ldquo;mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety.&rdquo;<\/p><p>Prest adds that &ldquo;low confidence can also cause a child to avoid challenges or give up on tasks at the first sign of difficulty.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-bottom-line-on-building-confidence-in-kids\" data-toc-id=\"b67bb521\">The bottom line on building confidence in kids<\/h2><p>Building confidence in kids is definitely worth putting the time and effort into, as it affects every aspect of kids&rsquo; lives &mdash; and it will only help them in the long run.<\/p><p>Says Mathis: &ldquo;Kids should believe in themselves, so that they are willing to try, take healthy risks, advocate for themselves, ask questions and create boundaries.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Boost kids\u2019 self-esteem at school and in life with expert advice for building confidence in kids.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1273,"featured_media":101963,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"enable_toc":true,"care_reviewed_by":0,"care_post_updated_flag":false,"care_updated_date":"2025-07-07T04:00:00.000Z","last_update":"2025-07-07","view_count":33491,"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1104],"member-type":[4],"vertical":[6,17,13],"platform":[2],"class_list":["post-569","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-kids-mental-health","member-type-all","vertical-children","vertical-child-care-advice","vertical-kids-health-safety","platform-resources"],"acf":[],"created":"2012-07-18","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/569","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1273"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=569"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/569\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":220017,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/569\/revisions\/220017"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/101963"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=569"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=569"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=569"},{"taxonomy":"member-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/member-type?post=569"},{"taxonomy":"vertical","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/vertical?post=569"},{"taxonomy":"platform","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/platform?post=569"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}