{"id":56164,"date":"2024-05-03T18:25:22","date_gmt":"2024-05-03T18:25:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c?p=56164"},"modified":"2025-12-15T18:25:25","modified_gmt":"2025-12-15T18:25:25","slug":"recognizing-and-addressing-caregiver-stress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/recognizing-and-addressing-caregiver-stress\/","title":{"rendered":"Identifying yourself as a caregiver is the first step to tackling the stress of the job"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you happen to care for an aging loved one and don&rsquo;t necessarily consider yourself a caregiver, you&rsquo;re not alone. Despite the fact that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.archangels.me\/insights\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener sponsored nofollow\">43% of adults are caregivers<\/a> (for either someone under 18 or someone over 18), 50% of them don&rsquo;t identify with the word, according to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.archangels.me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">ARCHANGELS<\/a>, a national movement and platform dedicated to reframing how caregivers are seen, honored and supported.&nbsp;<\/p><p>&ldquo;Part of that is confusion &mdash; a caregiver is a doctor or a nurse,&rdquo; says Alexandra Drane, co-founder and CEO ARCHANGELS. &ldquo;For many reasons, it&rsquo;s not a term that resonates.&rdquo; For instance, in certain communities, such as the Hispanic and Latinx population, people think of themselves as doing the work any child of an aging adult would, points out Drane. Others believe that caring for others is something you naturally do as a &ldquo;decent human being&rdquo; or as a gift to someone who once cared for you.&nbsp;<\/p><p>But ultimately, being an unpaid caregiver is a job you deserve credit for, says Drane. And labeling your work is a step toward recognizing &mdash; and contending &mdash;&nbsp;with the stressors you likely face as a caregiver. Here, Drane explains why it&rsquo;s crucial to embrace the term, how to own the challenges you&rsquo;re facing as well as top coping tips and tricks.&nbsp;<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-custom-dynamic-list key-takeaways-block\"><h3>Key takeaways<\/h3><div class=\"key-takeaways-container\"><ul><li>Many people caring for aging loved ones don&rsquo;t identify as &ldquo;caregivers,&rdquo; even though nearly half of adults are doing this work. Naming yourself as a caregiver helps you recognize the role, validate your stress, and unlock language, credit and support you deserve.<\/li><li>Labeling yourself as a caregiver makes it easier to access resources, ask for help and even recognize transferable skills you&rsquo;ve gained, from project management to problem-solving. Tools like intensity scores and skill builders help connect your stress to solutions and turn invisible labor into visible value.<\/li><li>Coping as a caregiver starts with sharing your story, trading practical tips and practicing self-compassion instead of self-blame. Supporting other caregivers not only reduces isolation but also helps normalize caregiving as real work worthy of respect and systemic support.<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-labeling-yourself-as-a-caregiver-is-so-important-here-s-why\" data-toc-id=\"4e3d43d6\">Labeling yourself as a caregiver is so important &mdash; here&rsquo;s why<\/h2><p>Being an unpaid caregiver is one of the most beautiful things any of us will ever do, acknowledges Drane. But it&rsquo;s because unpaid caregivers are so invested in caring for their older loved one that their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/what-is-compassion-fatigue\">stress is so high<\/a>. And, she points out, only by acknowledging both sides of the coin can you find the support you deserve.&nbsp;<\/p><p>At the same time, according to Drane, identifying yourself as a caregiver allows you to:<\/p><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Get credit for it.&nbsp;<\/li><li>Gain support from your friends.&nbsp;<\/li><li>Have language for what you&rsquo;re going through.<\/li><li>Seek out <a href=\"https:\/\/www.archangels.me\/caregiver-resources\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">supportive resources<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul><p>For example, by labeling yourself as a caregiver, you can more readily navigate to resources like <a href=\"https:\/\/www.archangels-cii.me\/get-started\/?utm_source=aasite&amp;utm_medium=weblink&amp;utm_campaign=general&amp;_ga=2.87056607.674077221.1638321957-173249959.1638321957\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">ARCHANGELS&rsquo; Caregiver Intensity Score tool<\/a>, which will give you the language to describe how much stress you&rsquo;re currently facing &mdash; red is the most, yellow is a moderate level, and green is the least &mdash;&nbsp; and inspire you to ask for what you need, based on your responses.&nbsp;<\/p><p>For instance, if you find that the main factor driving your intensity is that you have no time for yourself, you might ask your friends and family to sit with your aging loved one or hire <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/respite-care\">respite care<\/a> or a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/companion-care-for-seniors\">companion caregiver<\/a>, says Drane. If you&rsquo;re having trouble navigating benefits, you can find insurance agents and counselors who can help you with that.&nbsp;<\/p><p>Another example in which self-identification is useful: According to the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.caregiver.org\/resource\/caregiver-statistics-work-and-caregiving\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP<\/a>, 70% of caregivers who work outside the home suffer work-related difficulties due to their dual roles. By labeling yourself as a caregiver, you can identify the skills you&rsquo;ve acquired in that role that belong on your resume, such as:&nbsp;<\/p><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Providing money management.<\/li><li>Executing project management.<\/li><li>Navigating financial assistance.<\/li><li>Tackling legal aid.&nbsp;<\/li><li>Finding creative solutions for complex problems.<\/li><li>Working with others to reach a specific goal.<\/li><li>Organizing a team of people to complete tasks.<\/li><li>Managing complex situations.<\/li><li>Coordinating difficult schedules, et al.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul><p>(Not sure where to begin? ARCHANGELS offers a tool called <a href=\"https:\/\/www.archangels.work\/get-started\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Skill Builder<\/a> that will help you turn those skills into job qualifications.)&nbsp;<\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p>&ldquo;One in four caregivers is a millennial, and one in five is Gen Z. The younger you are, the lonelier you are in your role &mdash;&nbsp;and the less likely you are to realize you&rsquo;re in that role.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><cite>&mdash; Alexandra Drane, caregiver advocated<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure><div class=\"wp-block-careblocks-enrollment\" aria-live=\"polite\"><div class=\"enrollment-background\"><div class=\"enrollment-content\" id=\"enrollment-block\"><div class=\"enrollment-start\"><span>Like what you&rsquo;re reading?<\/span><h2>Join Care for free<\/h2><form name=\"enrollment\"><div class=\"enrollment-field-wrapper\"><label for=\"enrollment-block-firstname\" class=\"sr-only\">First name<\/label><input name=\"firstname\" type=\"text\" class=\"enrollment-field enrollment-firstname\" placeholder=\"First name\"><p class=\"enrollment-error enrollment-block-firstname-error hidden\">First name is required.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"enrollment-field-wrapper\"><label for=\"enrollment-block-lastname\" class=\"sr-only\">Last name<\/label><input name=\"lastname\" type=\"text\" class=\"enrollment-field enrollment-lastname\" placeholder=\"Last name\"><p class=\"enrollment-error enrollment-block-lastname-error hidden\">Last name is required.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"enrollment-field-wrapper\"><label for=\"enrollment-block-email\" class=\"sr-only\">Email<\/label><input name=\"email\" type=\"email\" class=\"enrollment-field enrollment-email\" placeholder=\"Email\"><p class=\"enrollment-error enrollment-block-email-error hidden\"><\/p><\/div><div class=\"enrollment-field-wrapper\"><label for=\"enrollment-block-zip\" class=\"sr-only\">Zip code<\/label><input name=\"zip\" type=\"text\" class=\"enrollment-field enrollment-zip\" placeholder=\"Zip\"><p class=\"enrollment-error enrollment-block-zip-error hidden\">Zip code is required.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"disclaimer\"><p>By clicking &ldquo;Join now,&rdquo; you agree to our <a href=\"\/about\/terms-of-use\/\" target=\"_blank\">Terms of Use<\/a> and <a href=\"\/about\/privacy-policy\/\" target=\"_blank\">Privacy Policy<\/a>.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"enrollment-loading\"><div class=\"enrollment-loading-animation\"><\/div><\/div><p class=\"enrollment-error enrollment-error-message hidden\">We&rsquo;re sorry, your request could not be processed at this time. Please <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/app\/vhp\/get-started\">click here<\/a> to try again.<\/p><button name=\"submit\" type=\"submit\" class=\"button button-primary button-sm enrollment-submit\" data-loading=\"Sending...\">Join now<\/button><\/form><\/div><div class=\"enrollment-already-registered hidden\"><h2>Already Registered<\/h2><p>The email you entered is already registered. Would you like to log in?<\/p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/login\" class=\"button button-primary button-sm\">Log In<\/a><\/div><div class=\"enrollment-complete hidden\"><span>Congrats!<\/span><h2>Your account has been created.<\/h2><a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/app\/job\/cc\" class=\"button button-primary button-sm enrollment-cta\" id=\"enrollment-block-cta\">Find care now<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-can-i-ease-my-stress-as-a-caregiver\" data-toc-id=\"237eec88\">How can I ease my stress as a caregiver?<\/h2><p>Once you&rsquo;ve identified yourself as a caregiver, Drane recommends doing the following to better cope with the stress and isolation you feel as a result of your role.&nbsp;<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-share-your-experience\">Share your experience<\/h3><p>Tell your story to as many people as you can, encourages Drane. After all, most caregivers believe they&rsquo;re alone, she points out.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p><p>&ldquo;One in four caregivers is a millennial, and one in five is Gen Z,&rdquo; says Drane. &ldquo;The younger you are, the lonelier you are in your role &mdash;&nbsp;and the less likely you are to realize you&rsquo;re in that role.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><p>That said, if people can share their experiences more, it allows someone else the ability to see themselves reflected in it, she notes. And feeling less alone can reduce a caregiver&rsquo;s stress significantly.&nbsp;<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-trade-tips-nbsp\">Trade tips&nbsp;<\/h3><p>By sharing your story, you then open the door to trading helpful tips. Drane recalls hearing from a caregiver who had a parent with dementia. &ldquo;They were wandering, and they would get out of bed in the middle of the night. The caregiver was not sleeping, because they were always so afraid that their mom would wander out of the house. So they put bells on the bed. And then when Mom got up, the bells would wake the caregiver, and they could get their parent back to sleep. Sharing tips like this with your peers is really important.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-practice-self-compassion-as-much-as-possible\">Practice self-compassion as much as possible<\/h3><p>All too often, unpaid caregivers might get down on themselves for coming up short in the self-care department.&nbsp; They&rsquo;ll beat themselves up for starting an anti-anxiety medication, for their health going south, for drinking too much or for gaining weight. &ldquo;And they think it&rsquo;s because they&rsquo;re just failing at being this perfect human,&rdquo; says Drane.&nbsp;<\/p><p>But by identifying yourself as a caregiver and noting your Intensity Score, you can connect the dots between your job and coping mechanisms. &ldquo;If you can name it, that feels better right out of the gate,&rdquo; says Drane.&nbsp;<\/p><p>You&rsquo;ll also want to do your best to practice self-compassion. &ldquo;If you have this job, and it&rsquo;s hard, do not add on top of it that you&rsquo;re angry at yourself for not doing the job perfectly,&rdquo; she emphasizes. &ldquo;You&rsquo;re doing the best you can.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p>&ldquo;If you have this job, and it&rsquo;s hard, do not add on top of it that you&rsquo;re angry at yourself for not doing the job perfectly.&rdquo;<\/p><cite>&mdash; Alexandra Drane<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure><p>And when your Intensity Score comes down to yellow or green, perhaps you could sleep an extra hour, eat a little healthier, says Drane.<\/p><p><strong>Read more:<\/strong><\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-wp-embed is-provider-care-com-resources wp-block-embed-care-com-resources\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"><blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"tk4Ot7Hhs5\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/how-to-get-paid-to-be-a-family-caregiver\/\">Can I get paid as a family caregiver? Yes, here&rsquo;s how<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; visibility: hidden;\" title=\"&ldquo;Can I get paid as a family caregiver? Yes, here&rsquo;s how&rdquo; &mdash; Care.com Resources\" src=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/how-to-get-paid-to-be-a-family-caregiver\/embed\/#?secret=CbmrMItQ54#?secret=tk4Ot7Hhs5\" data-secret=\"tk4Ot7Hhs5\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/div><\/figure><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-have-a-red-phone\">Have a &ldquo;red phone&rdquo;<\/h3><p>If you note via your Intensity Score that you&rsquo;re in the red, you need to know who you are going to call, says Drane. &ldquo;You should have an array of people you&rsquo;re gonna call or text &mdash; whatever channel works for you,&rdquo; she notes.&nbsp;<\/p><p>These are people to whom you can let off steam in moments you feel you might combust. You might connect with a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/caregiver-support-groups\">caregiver navigator or social worker<\/a> who can help you problem solve and address an acute situation with your aging loved one.<\/p><p>Drane recalls hearing from her dad&rsquo;s paid caregiver early in the pandemic. &ldquo;She said, &lsquo;We&rsquo;re standing outside of the emergency room. I think your father&rsquo;s having a heart attack. We&rsquo;re going in,&rsquo;&rdquo; she remembers. &ldquo;I literally stopped being able to breathe. I had no ability to process anything.&rdquo; That&rsquo;s when she called her &ldquo;red phone&rdquo; friend, explained she had forgotten everything she was supposed to do in a moment like this and the friend coached her through it.&nbsp;<\/p><h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-it-s-crucial-to-support-other-caregivers-as-well\" data-toc-id=\"41b1fb01\">Why it&rsquo;s crucial to support other caregivers as well<\/h2><p>Drane encourages caregivers who&rsquo;ve gone through the above steps and &ldquo;put on their air mask&rdquo; to do what they can to support their fellow caregivers. &ldquo;There&rsquo;s this beautiful thing we call, &lsquo;You give a lift, you get a lift,&rsquo;&rdquo; she explains. &ldquo;If you do something kind for someone, you actually feel better yourself.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/p><p>Not only will you benefit individually, but by supporting other caregivers, you can normalize your work and eliminate stigma, says Drane. &ldquo;Ultimately, I do believe that the country is going to get to a place where companies compete to be the best employer for caregivers and give people credit for the work that they&rsquo;re doing,&rdquo; she notes. &ldquo;And that starts with each of us doing what we can to see ourselves in that role and see someone else in that role too.&rdquo;<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Labeling your work as an unpaid caregiver is a step toward recognizing \u2014 and contending \u2014 with the stressors you likely face. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1489,"featured_media":56289,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"enable_toc":true,"care_reviewed_by":0,"care_post_updated_flag":false,"care_updated_date":"2025-12-15T18:25:22.058Z","last_update":"2024-05-03","view_count":13669,"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1071],"member-type":[3],"vertical":[8,33],"platform":[2],"class_list":["post-56164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-family-caregiving","member-type-seeker","vertical-seniors","vertical-senior-care-advice-tips","platform-resources"],"acf":[],"created":"2021-12-01","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56164","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1489"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=56164"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56164\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":224670,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56164\/revisions\/224670"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/56289"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=56164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=56164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=56164"},{"taxonomy":"member-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/member-type?post=56164"},{"taxonomy":"vertical","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/vertical?post=56164"},{"taxonomy":"platform","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.care.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/platform?post=56164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}