Whether they realize it or not, all parents and caregivers have house rules for kids. They wouldn’t, for instance, allow children to stand on the kitchen table at mealtime or maybe even wear shoes in the house. But having a specific set of rules that are formalized — via family conversation and consistent enforcement — can cut down on common daily battles, making home life less stressful and more productive for all. <\/p>
“One of the biggest issues I see when working with families is that everyone is on a different page,” explains Meghan Geary, clinical psychologist, assistant director of the Training Institute, The Baker Center<\/a> in Boston and instructor of psychology at Harvard medical school. “House rules set clear behavior expectations, along with predictable, realistic consequences or rewards.” <\/p> Here, Geary and other experts offer insight on the importance of household rules, common house rules for kids, tips for upholding them and more. <\/p> House or family rules are a set of guidelines or principles that families personally set and maintain, explains Tasha Brown<\/a>, a clinical psychologist in New York City and assistant professor of medical psychology at Columbia University Medical Center.<\/p> “These rules clearly communicate important, decided-upon boundaries within the home and family,” she continues, “Additionally, they help parents and caregivers be more consistent with implementing rules and ensure that everyone is on the same page.”<\/p> According to Geary, house rules generally are broad (i.e., keep your hands to yourself), but at the same time are very much individualized to families and their values (i.e., kindness<\/a>). The rules should also, she notes, be able to be easily translated to other environments, like church, the grocery store, or friends’ homes. <\/p> Your house rules should also, according to Geary, be simple enough to explain to caregivers, such as nannies, babysitters, grandparents, etc. <\/p> In fact, if you’re hiring a caretaker, take time to clearly outline each rule, providing examples or scenarios to help them understand your expectations and encouraging questions. It can be a good idea to include house rules in your nanny contract<\/a> or babysitter contract<\/a>.<\/p> Every family should decide their household rules, based upon what’s most important to them, along with children’s ages and other factors, such as neurodiversities, but here are some of the most common house rules for kids, per Geary, Brown and Hannah Keeley<\/a>, master board-certified life coach.<\/p> This essentially means, no hitting, kicking, punching, pushing, biting, etc. <\/p> This rule means complying with the reasonable requests from parents and caregivers in a timely manner. For instance, if a child is asked to brush their teeth or turn off their iPad, they should do it within the first few asks. “Don’t expect perfection with this,” Geary says. “You may have to give kids 1-2 tries here. Also, compliance is about 80% for young kids.” <\/p> “This is about using a respectful tone,” says Geary. Depending on the child’s age, it can mean anything from no name calling or saying “I hate you” to no swearing. <\/p> This household rule, Keeley notes, encompasses cleaning up after one’s self, keeping rooms clean, caring for personal belongings, etc. <\/p> Lisa McGarry, a mom of three in Secaucus, New Jersey, made “no interrupting” a house rule for her kids, as well as for her and her husband, when no one could get a word in edgewise. “It wasn’t ever something near and dear to me before I had children,” she says. “But we reached a point when everyone was constantly talking over one another, and it had to stop.” <\/p>Key takeaways<\/h3>
What are house rules (aka, family rules)?<\/h2>
Tips for sharing house rules with sitters, nannies and grandparents<\/h3>
What are some examples of common house rules?<\/h2>
Have a safe body\/keep your hands to yourself <\/h3>
Be a good listener <\/h3>
Use kind words <\/h3>
Take responsibility for personal belongings\/personal space <\/h3>
Don’t interrupt<\/h3>
Do chores. <\/h3>