It’s a parenting debate that grows more contentious by the day: Should you pay a family member to watch your kids? Decades ago, the answer likely would have been a resounding no. But as the child care landscape grows more expensive and difficult to navigate, more and more parents are turning to grandparents, aunts, uncles and other relatives for care they originally would have sought from a babysitter, nanny or daycare.<\/p>
Forty-one percent of parents say they’ve relied on a grandmother when unexpected child care issues<\/a> arose, according to a 2023 report by Fortune and The Harris Poll. Others are hiring family members as part- or full-time caregivers. The result is that many parents and caregivers alike are rethinking how these child care arrangements should function. “You have to think about the financial implications of all involved,” says Abbey Sangmeister<\/a>, a therapist, life coach and founder of Evolving Whole. “The amount of hours, what is expected during that caregiving time — acknowledging there is labor involved in caring for children is the first step to having a successful relationship.”<\/p> So, is it time to start logging hours every time your sister agrees to babysit on date night? And how much should you be paying anyway? Here, experts and parents weigh in on whether or not to pay family members for child care and how to come to a fair agreement without straining your budget or your relationship.<\/p> Traditionally, family caregivers have been viewed as a part of “the village” that parents rely on when raising kids. To some people, that means they don’t or shouldn’t expect payment for participating in child care. “I try to pay my niece, but she always refuses to let me,” says Sarah Shemkus, a parent of one from Boston.<\/p> For some, the idea of paying family members for child care is actually outrageous. TikTok user Kaitlyn Wilson<\/a> recently went viral for a fiery post calling the practice “absurd.” She explains in her video, “I get the opportunity to create a relationship with my nephew by babysitting him and being around him. The fact that other people feel like they would need to be paid to hang out with their nieces, nephews, grandkids… is so messed up.”<\/p>Key takeaways<\/h3>
Why some people pay family members — and why some don’t<\/h2>