Regardless of temperament, at some point during a child’s first year, there’s a chance they’ll develop separation anxiety (read: they scream and reach in their parent’s direction when someone else tries to sneak in a snuggle). While this can be either flattering or insulting, depending on which side of things you’re on, one thing is for sure: Separation anxiety can be pretty inconvenient. “When my baby first started getting upset when his grandparents wanted to hold him, it was cute,” notes Meghan Walsh, a mom of two from Fairport, New York. “But after it went on for a bit, it became a bit of a hassle. They were coming over to give me a break.”<\/p>
Even though listening to your child wail every time you leave the room can be distressing — or a wee bit offensive if you’re starting a shift — it’s important to remember it’s incredibly common. “Separation anxiety is a normal developmental milestone that all pediatricians expect to hear about at well child checkups,” notes Dr. Sara Siddiqui<\/a>, a pediatrician and clinical assistant professor in the Department of Pediatrics at NYU Langone’s Hassenfeld Children’s Hospital in New York.<\/p> “Separation anxiety is a normal developmental milestone that all pediatricians expect to hear about at well child checkups.”<\/p>DR. SARA SIDDIQUI, PEDIATRICIAN<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure> Wondering when little one’s extreme person preference is going to ease up, and what you can do to comfort them in the meantime? Experts offer advice for navigating the often-emotional road that’s separation anxiety in babies. <\/p> According to Dr. Amna Husain, a pediatrician at Pure Direct Pediatrics<\/a> in Marlboro, New Jersey, separation anxiety occurs in babies once they develop the ability to realize that you still exist, even in your absence. “Once a baby understands the concept of object permanence, they’re able to realize that you disappeared, which leaves the baby feeling unsettled,” explains Husain. <\/p> “Once a baby understands the concept of object permanence, they’re able to realize that you disappeared, which leaves the baby feeling unsettled.”<\/p>DR. AMNA HUSAIN, PEDIATRICIAN<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure> The term object permanence<\/a> was first coined in 1963 by child psychologist Jean Piaget. Using a blanket to hide toys that were previously visible to babies, Piaget determined that at 8 months, babies developed the ability to remember that objects still exist, even when they’re not in front of them. Since then, however, studies have found that object permanence can occur as early as 5 months for some babies. <\/p> Another reason babies develop separation anxiety is anxiety about strangers — i.e., only wanting to be around people they know well. “Stranger anxiety occurs when the baby’s brain and neurologic system begins to become aware of those they know and people that are new,” says Siddiqui. “They’re able to identify people they can trust and who are in their day-to-day life and those who are new and not around daily. Obviously, they feel more comfortable with the former.”<\/p> The main sign of separation anxiety in babies is — you guessed it — crying. However, there are a few additional, less obvious signs, according to Siddiqui, including “looking at the parent and getting upset or irritable when they’re leaving.” <\/p> You may not be able to completely stop a baby from getting upset when you’re not close by altogether, but there are a few things you can do to make it better. <\/p> According to Husain, the age for when separation anxiety sets in is completely dependent on each kid. “Separation anxiety varies widely between children during infancy, toddlerhood and preschool<\/a>,” says Husain. “The infant can be young as 4 to 5 months old and can be as old as 3 to 4 years. It all depends on the child.”<\/p> “Separation anxiety varies widely between children during infancy, toddlerhood and preschool.”<\/p>DR. AMNA HUSAIN, PEDIATRICIAN<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure> And just like the age range for separation anxiety varies, so does the duration — and again, a lot of it is dependent on the child’s personality. “While some babies become extremely upset for just a short time when they separate from their parents, others may persist into toddler and school drop-offs,” says Siddiqui.<\/p> For some babies, separation anxiety kicks in at night. According to Stanford Children’s Health<\/a>, night-time separation anxiety most often starts around 6 months, with the reason being that, at this age, babies very much want to be around their parents or other people they know well, and they don’t yet understand that separations are short term. <\/p>Why do babies get separation anxiety?<\/h2>
What are the signs of separation anxiety in babies?<\/h2>
How do you fix separation anxiety in babies?<\/h2>
At what age do babies have separation anxiety?<\/h2>
How to help with separation anxiety at night<\/h2>