You should ask for a background check. That's your love one you are looking out for.
There you already answered your own question. Things are out of balance. Get help so you don't get care giver fatigue.
Ask her what her favorite meals are or try cooking meals you remember her cooking.
Start small maybe fix him a healthy dinner. Go do something with him that he enjoys, like fishing.
Hire a person of his choice to assist him so he can remain at home. Make him part of the process.
Set up a PayPal account and send them money from one PayPal account to the other. If they have facebook you can send money to their PayPal instantly free.
You don't. Tell someone where you are going.
I see it start at $10 hour and go up from there.