Finding a Confident Balance
Blogger Jo-Lynne Shane shares tips on raising confident, balanced kids as part of the Care.com Interview series.
Jo-Lynne Shane has always considered herself a confident person - and she thanks her parents in large part for always praising her accomplishments. As a mother of three, the Musings of a Housewife blogger follows that same principle and believes in the power of encouragement over negativity. See why she believes in focusing on her kids' strong points, how she encourages a confident balance, and what's the one thing she wants her kids to always know about themselves.
Tell us about your family.
There are five of us - my husband and myself, along with three littles who are ages 6, 9 and 12.
Do you consider yourself a confident woman? If so, what and who helped you get there?
I do. I credit my parents for always encouraging me in my talents and not harping on my weaknesses. They always praised me for my accomplishments and told me that I was smart and beautiful. I think that went a long way to instill a sense of confidence and self- worth. As an adult, I am blessed because my husband plays that role. And I would have to say that my success with blogging has really helped my confidence grow!
Do you or any of your kids struggle with a lack of self-confidence? How have you handled that?
One does. We really try to build her up and we have worked hard to find an extracurricular activity at which she excels and encourage her in that. We find her strong points and praise her for them, especially when it is due to her efforts. She's coming along, but I think it will just take time and maturity for her to find her self-worth.
What was the one moment you knew you were worthy, important and that you truly count?
Becoming a mom. For sure. There is no greater calling.
How do you express the value of confidence to your kids? What tips do you have for other parents on boosting kids' self-esteem? Is there anything you wish your parents had done or said to you to boost your self-esteem?
You just have to love them unconditionally, praise their accomplishments, encourage them when they fail, and try not to play the comparison game with the other siblings. Find the unique in each one of them, and nurture that. I also think it is important to have discipline and require them to take on responsibilities at home. In our quest to instill confidence in our kids, it is possible to err on the other side and allow them to think too highly of themselves. So finding a balance is key.
How might you (some day) use social media to increase your child's self-esteem?
I hope to teach them how to use social media appropriately so they don't get into trouble or find themselves in an extremely embarrassing situation. And they will each have the opportunity to have their own blogs and digital properties if they desire. I hope that at least one has an interest in following in my footsteps. :-)
What's the ONE thing you want your kids to feel/remind themselves/know when they walk out the door in the morning? What words do you want them to remember to boost their confidence?
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! And I don't mean that just superficially -- I want them to feel good about themselves, but also to know that true beauty comes from the inside.
Jo-Lynne Shane is a wife and mother to three great kids. She is the author of the blog, Musings of a Housewife, where she discusses parenting, fitness, recipes, fashion and more. You can find Jo-Lynne on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
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