26 Things No Nanny Would Ever Say
Nannies aren't always perfect, but no nanny would ever say, "I like kids, just not your kids."
You've decided to hire a nanny. Great, now you can really start worrying. Just kidding.
You've done your due-dilligence. You've interviewed her, run a background check, called numerous references (even ones she didn't give you right away), Googled her, checked social media accounts, and tested with your kids. You know your nanny is a professional. She's not going to show up and ask, "Do you have any prescription painkillers lying around? I sometimes like to take the edge off."
For entertainment purposes, we came up with 26 other things no pro-nanny would ever even think -- let alone say. What would you add?
- "Surprise! The kids and I picked out a puppy!"
- "I once raised a litter of kittens, so I'm sure I can handle your twins."
- "I think it's important for kids to learn through consequences. That's why I let them run with scissors."
- "I just turned on a movie for the kids and slept."
- "Can my boyfriend sleep over? He's in a band. Also, can his band sleep over?"
- "I let your kids taste a beer so they could see how yucky it is."
- "Your sheets are so comfortable!"
- "Well, if he chokes on a grape, then I'll start cutting them up."
- "I can smoke in the house, right?"
- "I'm not really into changing diapers."
- "I'm not what you might call a 'kid person.'"
- "How many quiet time outs are too many quiet time outs?"
- "No worries, I watched a lot of 'The Nanny' reruns growing up."
- "The kids can make their own lunches, right?"
- "Can I have Friday mornings off? I usually go out late on Thursdays."
- "The baby called me 'mommy' today."
- "My previous employer hated me."
- "Well, if you didn't want me to borrow your clothes, you should have said so."
- "I'll just hold on to the key for the liquor cabinet, just in case."
- "I thought these kids were free-range."
- "Today is 'Candy for Dinner Day!'"
- "I had to run out, but don't worry, the kids were fine here playing on their iPads."
- "I don't do bedtime stories."
- "I figure, as long as they have some applesauce with their french fries, fast food is as healthy as anything else."
- "Well, I do use car seats when we're on the highway..."
- "Your husband is so hot. Is he younger than you?"
These are all said in jest, but if you ever have your doubts -- if a gut feeling says she's not the right nanny -- it's time to interview the best partner for your parenting team.
See the best questions to ask during a nanny interview
If you're a new nanny, check out How to Be the Best Nanny.
Nicole Leigh Shaw began writing as a newspaper journalist in 1999, but has been moving through all the metamorphic stages of the modern writer, except "tortured novelist," and soon she'll emerge as a butterfly or a vlogger. Nicole writes for Cosmopolitan.com and ScaryMommy.com, and has contributed to four anthologies including the New York Times bestseller, "I Just Want to Pee Alone."