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Wishful Care Instructions When Grandma Babysits

This is a post from another Care.com employee who would like to remain anonymous. Planning an upcoming getaway with her husband, in which her mother-in-law and a babysitter will be caring for the kids, she wrote this satirical post on the care instructions she wished she could leave her MIL.

Dear Mom,

Thank you so much for staying with the kids for the weekend. Yes, they are so much taller (and heavier and faster) than when you saw them last. There have also been some rule changes since you last babysat and I figured I would put them in writing, so you’d have them in one place.

  • Two-year olds don’t get swaddled. Please don’t try that again (or at least video tape it if you do this time!).
  • Car seats are still a necessity. No, I’m not being a "Nervous Nellie." It’s the law. Google it.
  • There’s no spanking. That includes threatening them with a wooden spoon.
  • Yes, your grand-daughter still uses a Binky to soothe herself. No, I don’t know what she’s soothing. No, I don’t think she’s stressed. No, we don’t fight in front of her. Please don’t try to fix this on your two-day visit.
  • Mc Donald’s has not gotten any healthier. And just because they have a playground doesn’t mean you have to go there every time you visit. Please avoid, unless you’re willing to stay home when the kids have Croup, Coxsackie… and Diabetes.
  • Please don’t organize my drawers again. It took me three weeks to find everything last time you visited. And no, it wasn’t helpful.
  • I booked you a babysitter on Saturday from 10 to 3. Don’t be a martyr and tell her to go home (again!). The kids wake up at 6 and knowing the adventures they will have put you through Friday night, you will need a break Saturday. Just go back to bed.
  • Please don’t ask the babysitter about her sexual history. It’s none of your business. And it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s amazing with the kids. I don’t know why she’s still single.

On second thought, I’ll probably have the sitter come on Sunday too. Thanks for your help, Mom! Try to take it easy with them. They’re really into a super-hero phase right now. Tip: Don’t offer to become the bad guy or you might not be able to break free from "jail."

Well, you have your cell phone. Just keep it on you and call 911 in any emergency!

Oh, and will you leave me the recipe for your famous lasagna (or just make it and leave it in the fridge!) -- I am drooling just thinking about it.

Tell me, what would be on your list of instructions when your parents or in-laws care for your kids?

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