Posted BySheila in Waltham, MA
Original Publishing Date
Today, I want to introduce you to Melissa. A mom and
remote-employee of Care.com, Melissa lives in New Hampshire
and works as a teacher and coach as well as a content marketer for Care.com. Now, she has big news: She is
pregnant with her second baby. And of course, that brings up a lot of
questions. I’m sure many of you will relate!
I called my husband into the bathroom to check. "Look at the instructions again," I insisted. "Is that right? Does this mean what I think it means?"
My husband couldn’t be bothered with that – he was too happy. He just wanted a high five (we’re both athletes, we high-five a lot!). But my head was spinning. I couldn’t believe I was pregnant again. It took us a long time for us to conceive our first, who is now just over 21 months, and I thought for sure it would take us at least that long to get another, which meant more time to get used to the idea of not just another pregnancy, but another entire life under our already-squeezed-for-space roof.
There was so much to think about.
Was I ready for the morning sickness? Ready to give up my weekends playing ice hockey and skiing? Ready to say goodbye to my cute skinny jeans I had just gotten back into? Ready to afford childcare for two? (That one I already knew the answer to: Nope.) Where on earth were we going to put the new kid? And didn’t we all enjoy sleeping through the night???
But here’s my deepest, darkest fear: What if this one is harder than my first?
For someone who doesn’t deal well with change, I am really thrown by the ideas of pregnancy and family expansion. As the weeks slide by, I’ve had a lot of time to analyze and overthink all the ways in which my life is going to change. Some days I panic, and some days I’m way too excited to care. My child is going to have a sibling close to his age – something I never had, something some say is the greatest gift you can give your child. There’ll be twice the fun, twice the giggling and snuggles, and twice the daycare bill (yikes), twice the diapers, and twice the mess. But! I get to go shopping for a nifty double stroller, spend hours on Pinterestfiguring out the best way to transform a closet into a nursery, and I get to wear elastic waistband pants to work and no one can say boo about it.
I am really hoping that what many people are telling me is true: going from 0 to 1 kid is way harder than going from 1 to 2. Many people attribute this to the fact that in going from 0 to 1, everything is earth-shattering to the world you previously knew before your child arrived. So I’m trying to think of having a second child this way: having #1 might be compared to a complete demolition of an old house, where everything you knew or was familiar was just gone, but having #2 might be like a remodel of your kitchen, or building a nice deck off your living room. Maybe everything about your world will just be a little different, a little better.
So tell me, what tips do you have for going from 1 to 2 kids? How do you make it work?