Posted ByJillian in Thomasville, NC
im really scared
It is going to be hard but just remember you are continuing school to better yourself and to provide for your child. Never give up
I work in schools. My recommendation is to set up an appointment with your school social worker or school psychologist. Send them an email beforehand inquiring about programs that may help you get through school and community resources to help you through your pregnancy and when you have the child. This will give them a heads up to help prepare this information. Some high schools offer evening school or other programs that may work better with your lifestyle when you have the child.
Hi Jillian! First of all, I think what you're doing is very brave! And second, my parents work with a really cool program called YoungLives - its a branch of the Young Life organization designed especially for high school moms and their babies! Besides being an amazing support network, they offer a lot of other great resources like programs with childcare, classes, retreats, and more. I did a quick search and didn't see anything in Thomasville, but there might be one in High Point, Greensboro, and Winston Salem. Wishing you all the best!
The best thing to do, as the others said would be to talk with a Guidance Counselor at your school, and set up an appointment with a psychologist, generally, through your school these are free. You also most likely qualify for assistance, Medicaid, government assistance, WIC, sheltering, and food stamps. I would suggest getting into contact with a trusted adult at your school, a health or life skills teacher perhaps. They can provide you with the best resources. Otherwise, do your research, start planning what kind of birth you want, and try to get some things in order for doctors appointments and prenatal vitamins. I admire you for staying with your baby, you will be an amazing mother, I hope all is going well for you. If you need help, there are many many resources out there for you. And many of them are free. Good luck and best wishes.
Everyone is right that you need to speak with your school and teachers as soon as possible, especially if you will be giving birth during the school year. You need to get everyone on board and understanding your plans to finish high school and keep your baby. I don't think you have to consider other options, but an adoption is an option that you shouldn't necessarily count out. Think about the financial, emotional, physical, and social aspects of having a child. If you believe you are able to reliably provide these things to your child, you should consider keeping it. If you cannot, however, you might want to consider (you don't have to) giving him to a family that can't have a baby on their own that would give it every opportunity in life. You are very brave for wanting to go through the pregnancy. If you decide to keep it you need to organize how you are going to financially support this child. Is your family going to be there to raise the kid with you and give you money for diapers? Is the baby daddy's family going to be in its life? Are you okay with losing friends and missing out on activities at school? You will be graduating high school with a toddler. If your family can't/won't watch him during school are you going to be able to afford daycare? There are a lot of questions you need to start asking yourself and a lot of self-reflection that you need to have. This is a living person who will be in your life until you are no longer on this earth honey and you need to make sure you can make a lifetime commitment at your age and in the current chapter of your life. I wish you the best of luck and all the wisdom to make the best choice for you and your child! You have some big decisions to make now.
PS. make sure to find a good friend that you can count on no matter what decision you make. People can go through some serious depression when they are young and pregnant.
Hey Jillian, I know you say you want to keep the baby and continue school. But do think long and hard about everything that comes with. I have friends who had to do online schooling, and raise their kid(s).
But I just had my baby boy a week and 3 days ago, and the dad and I are so exhausted. Just also keep in mind, there will be sleepless nights, so online schooling would be a wise decision. Also, that there will be a lot of money being laid down for the baby, for diapers, things for the nursery, cloths, a baby bed, doctor visits, and many other things.
Just fully think about what having a baby entitles. Best of luck to you!
You'll need help, either from your family or the baby's father's family. Please let them know as soon as possible. You should also inform your school and see what they can offer you to help you finish school - some schools offer daycare, online or evening classes. You should also find out what kind of social welfare you'll qualify for once you have the baby - it will help you greatly with the costs of baby supplies.
Brace yourself. That's the best advice I can give you. Things are going to be difficult but keep focus of your goals. Once you lose sight of what you're doing and why you're doing it. Things become much harder and it'll distract you from what your end goal(s) are. Don't be afraid to except help and understand that you can't do everything on your own. We all need help in some kind of way. Stay strong and love your baby like it's the end of the world. Be proud of who you are and the decisions you've made. Best of luck to you sweetheart.
So i was 22 and graduated from college when I had my first child. I didnt find out i was pregnant until 2 weks after me and the dad split up. When I called and told him, his reply was, "Good Luck." Fine, I'm good with that. Three months after I had my little girl, I found myself in the same situation again. I was already struggling to just provide for me and the one I had already, since I didnt get any help from dad. After much thought, weighing out the pro's and con's, I decided that an open adoption was the only way. An open adoption is when both parties, birth mom and adopting family, agree on terms of visitation and being allowed in the childs life. Of course, there were rules and limits set forth, which I could live with. I found a family from my home town, wanted kids, they tried, and just couldnt make it happen. They adopted my second baby. She never even came home with me. That was 7 years ago. I can honestly say that I know i did the right thing. I do not regret my decision. I think that the reason I feel the way I do is because I still, by law, have the right to see her so many times a year for so long and so forth. Had it been a closed adoption, I would not have been able to do it. A closed adoption is when you do not even get to know who your child is adopted by. I havent seen her is almost 4 years, other than facebook and pics that they still send me, and I am ok with it. She is a beautiful little girl, and they are an amazing family. They also asked me before I had her if I would want her to know I was her birth mother. I was shocked when they told me that they would want her to know that I was and understand why I made the choice that I did. Now I am 30, still never married, pregnant again. I have considered adoption again, but with my first daughter, who lives with me, its not really an option because she is old enough to remember now and it will crush her. Basically, I hope that you understand that adoption is not an act of selfishness, but one of selfLESSness. I did what any good mother would do, which was give my baby the best chance at life, even if it wasnt with me... To me, when a woman can put her child above any needs or feelings of her own, only then can she call herself a mother..... Just because someone adopts your child, does not take away the fact that you are and always will be a mother. I hope that this gives you a better look at your options. Dont be selfish. You are 15 years old. Why not help complete someones family giving you time to finish growing up so that one day you can have (and be able to provide) for one of your own.
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