Whether you’re negotiating with a picky eater, powering through a never-ending playdate or enduring another bedtime battle, the stressors of raising a family are no joke. Keeping a sense of humor can help moms and dads get through the day — especially on those occasions when they’re fishing an iPhone out of a toilet or begging their toddler to stop picking his nose while posing for a family photo.
It’s no wonder parents often fall back on comedy to diffuse the more difficult moments. But while “mom jokes” and “dad jokes” might sound like they’re related, they definitely belong on different branches of the family tree. Sure, they both may tickle your funny bone, but their approach to getting those laughs definitely varies.
How mom jokes differ from dad jokes, according to parents
What’s the difference between a “mom joke” and a “dad joke”? Mom jokes are funny! I’m kidding — or am I? Dictionary.com defines a “dad joke” as “a corny and generally unfunny joke reminiscent of the types of remarks made by middle-aged or elderly fathers to their children.” Ouch. (Pops isn’t laughing now, is he?)
But how would you describe “mom jokes”? While there’s not an official definition, mom of two Keri Kelly, who teaches comedy writing at Rowan University, explains that mom jokes are rooted in poking fun at the demands of daily life as a parent and get laughs because they’re relatable and have unexpected punchlines.
While mom jokes typically focus on aspects of motherhood, marriage and home life, dad jokes often go beyond the parameters of parenting to include puns and wordplay, adds says Kelly, who offered her favorite examples:
Dad joke: “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!”
Mom joke: “Mothers of teens understand why animals eat their young.”
Not surprisingly, dad jokes and mom jokes garner different reactions. Dad jokes often elicit an eye roll and a moan due to their dependence on puns and less-than-hilarious punchlines. (Need another example? “How does a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.”)
Mom jokes are frequently met with a wink and a knowing smile thanks to their subtlety and relatability. (Here’s a taste: “I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.”)
Lindsay Hameroff, co-editor of humor parenting site, Frazzled, says she sees a lot of mom jokes revolve around the challenges of being a caregiver, such as, “Just showered alone for 15 minutes, and it was a solid vacation.”
Julie Vick, humorist and author of “Babies Don’t Make Small Talk (So Why Should I?),” agrees that mom jokes highlight some universal truth about the realities of motherhood.
A mom of two, Vick’s parenting quips are regularly picked up by publications like “In Touch Weekly,” which shared her delightfully self-deprecating and relatable tweet:
Why we need mom jokes
When you spend your evenings fielding questions about sloths and reading “Goodnight Moon” for the billionth time, you find yourself asking, “Is it just me?” Mom jokes remind you that you’re not alone and that the struggle is not only real but also great comic material.
“Mom jokes are cathartic,” says Kelly. “Plus, they offer a sense of camaraderie — a way to give a little comic relief to your fellow moms in the trenches. And let’s face it, there are times when if you weren’t laughing, you’d be crying.”
“I often find humor in the moments when things don’t go according to plan or according to how they appear to be going for other parents on Instagram. I don’t think there is much humor in being a perfect parent with kids who always eat their kale and quietly put themselves to bed.”
— JULIE VICK, HUMORIST AND AUTHOR OF “BABIES DON’T MAKE SMALL TALK (SO WHY SHOULD I?)”
A little snark can go a long way on a tough day.
Another bonus: Mom jokes also highlight unexpected new talents parenting brings:
Vick, too, says she finds most of her “mom joke” material from parenting frustrations. “I often find humor in the moments when things don’t go according to plan or according to how they appear to be going for other parents on Instagram,” she notes. “I don’t think there is much humor in being a perfect parent with kids who always eat their kale and quietly put themselves to bed. When things go off the rails, it’s something I can usually find humor in (eventually).”
You don’t have to be a parent to craft or get a chuckle out of mom or dad jokes as illustrated by this knee-slapper: “I tell dad jokes, but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa!”
Nationally-acclaimed humor writer and author of “The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad”
Shannon Carpenter explains that while mom and dad jokes are fundamentally different, they both play off the tropes of motherhood and fatherhood.
“They are all about leading the listener to an expected outcome and then taking them to a totally unexpected place that, once said, seems simple,” he says.
Carpenter adds that his wife isn’t above employing a bit of the dad joke strategy.
“My wife’s mom jokes move around the puns (same as dads) but often involve the kids in some way or parenting more,” says Carpenter, who shares one of his wife’s classics: “Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to the motherboard.”
Mom and dad joke no-nos
Comedians are known for pushing the envelope to get a laugh, but is there anything off-limits when it comes to mom and dad jokes?
“Never punch down,” says Carpenter. “For example, I wouldn’t make fun of single mothers or school shootings. I wouldn’t make fun of less advantaged people. I wouldn’t make fun situations that are hurtful. That’s the line.”
Andrew Knott, Hameroff’s co-editor at Frazzled, agrees. “Our line is we don’t go for jokes or pieces that hate on children,” he says. “Seems obvious, but a lot of writers/comics try to do the, ‘Ugh, my kids are dumb/annoying” thing to be funny. It doesn’t come off well when it’s too mean spirited.”
What kids have to say about it all
While kids aren’t always the “butt” of mom or dad jokes, they still serve as a reliable source for material at the same time they provide a built-in audience for funny parents.
But how do the kids feel about this homegrown comedy?
Vick says while her kids laugh and find her funny, they’ve also told her that they have slightly different taste.
“They are in elementary school and their current humor tastes tend toward things like butt jokes, so it’s not a surprise that our senses of humor diverge,” she says. “Although this tweet about their butt-related book idea actually did pretty well, so maybe they are onto something!”
Carpenter says his daughter grabbed a copy of his book and read some of it in her room.
“The next day she came downstairs and said, ‘Man, Dad, you really are funny,’” he recalls. “She said it in an almost disappointed voice. And I was like, ‘See, I told you!’”
Kelly’s kids laugh and take offense in equal measure, while Hameroff shares that her children “don’t really get jokes, unfortunately. But my husband laughs!”
Whether you love the honesty or smart alec sass of “mom jokes” or you prefer pun-tastic dad jokes, one thing’s for sure, parents can all use a laugh!
