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TikTok mom calls out teacher who makes kids ‘pay’ to use the bathroom

This mom and other parents are speaking out against strict bathroom policies they say lead to shame and stress at school.

TikTok mom calls out teacher who makes kids ‘pay’ to use the bathroom

The classroom can be a chaotic place, and teachers use a lot of different strategies to avoid disruptions. For some, that includes incentives for good behavior, points systems and even classroom contracts. But one mom on TikTok is calling out her daughter’s teacher for a behavior system she says is totally out of line. Desi Eleazar Hoffman says her 11-year-old daughter’s class was asked to earn and pay out special classroom “dollars” in order to use the bathroom.

Bathroom restrictions in the classroom

“It’s my 11-year-old daughter’s first year of middle school, and her second week of school, she comes home with these little pieces of paper from science class,” explains Hoffman, who goes by @mommastattoos. “Apparently these ‘Garrett dollars’ are supposed to work as a reward system currency, but Mrs. Garrett makes them cash the dollars in to use the bathroom.”

Hoffman asked her daughter how kids are able to earn enough Garrett dollars to get a bathroom break and found out that one way to earn them is by donating extra school supplies to the class.

“I get it. It’s hard for teachers these days, and I feel for that. I really do,” Hoffman explains. “But there are low-income families who can’t afford this, so I feel like they have less opportunity than the kids who can [bring in extra supplies]. And those kids shouldn’t have less opportunity to use the bathroom.”

@mommastattoos

Replying to @matthew_dexter Part 2: Operant Conditioning—Bathroom privileges?!? #operantconditioning #middleschool #bathroomprivileges #bathroomrights

♬ original sound – Desi Eleazar Hoffman

Hoffman says kids can also earn the dollars for good behavior, but that system sometimes results in humiliation. In a second video, Hoffman explains that kids in class are seated in groups around tables. The table that earns the most good behavior points gets the most Garrett dollars, but points are taken away for disruptions, including if kids ask to use the bathroom when they don’t have enough dollars to afford it.

“Last week, before she even gave us any Garrett dollars, a boy had to use the bathroom, but he didn’t have a Garrett dollar, so she docked the whole table points, and everybody went, ‘Boo,'” the mom says her daughter previously noted.

All of this didn’t sit right with Hoffman, so she decided to email her daughter’s teacher. In her email, Hoffman said she understands the use of a currency system to promote good behavior, but she can’t condone extending that system to restrict bathroom access.

“Having to exchange currency for basic human rights is tyrannical,” she says. “And I would gladly donate whatever supplies you need in exchange for getting rid of this system. Middle schoolers are just now learning how to manage their periods, and they’re going to spend a lot of time in the bathroom.”

Parents say bathroom rules in the classroom are a big problem

Hoffman’s TikTok saga highlights an issue many parents are dealing with. In the comments on her posts, dozens of parents said their kids’ teachers are also using bathroom access as a reward or limiting when and how often kids can go. Some even said kids have peed their pants in class after not being allowed to leave the room.

“My second grader says her teacher won’t give them ‘roar points,’ almost the same [as Garrett dollars], if they use the restroom, deterring kids from using the restroom,” one parent writes.

“My son has bladder issues,” writes another TikTok user. “The teacher said no bathroom while doing an assignment in second [grade]. He peed his pants, and I mama-beared in there.”

One mom says she had to get the doctor’s office involved in order to ensure bathroom access for her child. “I had to literally get a doctor’s note for my teen to use the bathroom,” she writes. “The teachers will not allow the kids to leave at certain times.”

Why do some teachers restrict bathroom access?

A few teachers chimed in to explain why bathroom access has become such a complicated issue in schools. They pointed out that bathroom trips can sometimes be used to avoid doing classwork, and some kids even get into mischief while they’re out of the classroom on a bathroom break.

“We are weird about bathrooms because some students are not responsible,” they explain. “Students use the restroom as task avoidance, damage the bathroom, make graffiti.”

But other teachers say even with the risk of distraction that bathroom trips sometimes pose, it’s not okay to treat access to the restroom as a privilege.

“I’ve never asked for supplies or not let kids to go to the restroom,” writes one teacher. “[I’ve been] teaching for 16 years.”

“This is my 11th year teaching, and I never tell a child no to use the bathroom. It is not a privilege to go to the bathroom,” another teacher adds.

Bathroom access isn’t a ‘reward’

In an update, Hoffman says her daughter’s teacher responded to her email by doubling down on her original stance and explaining why she’d be keeping her restrictive bathroom policy in place. Hoffman’s complaint was ultimately escalated to the school principal and then the district’s vice superintendent, who agreed the policy should be changed.

@mommastattoos

Replying to @mommastattoos Resolution part 1

♬ original sound – Desi Eleazar Hoffman

“He spoke with the teachers and told them it was really important that students be allowed to use the bathroom,” she says.

By implementing reward systems, some teachers are trying to ensure their classrooms run smoothly. But Hoffman’s videos highlight how even well-meaning systems can sometimes cause unfairness and even embarrassment for kids.

Hoffman says she has a lot of respect for teachers. She just wants to encourage educators to consider how different rules impact students, especially when it comes to their basic needs.

Says Hoffman, “One thing [the superintendent] did say to me that I really liked is that this isn’t about who is right, it’s about what is right.”