I wanted to start a new discussion around when is an appropriate age for a child to stay at home unsupervised for part of the day. It depends on the child's maturity level of course, but what is the standard age these days? Thank you for your input.

I thought the technical legal age to leave a child home alone is 12. I am no expert though - my kids are little so I am not close to that just yet.

I looked this up as my neighbor lets her 5 and 7 year old go home alone
off the bus and I was concerned for my nanny 'letting' them off and them
going home alone. From what I found, the legality varies from state to
state, most having limits for child endangerment for the under 2 or
under 4 categories (amounting to abandonment, neglect, etc.). From the
things I read, it depends on the maturity of the child, but
psychologically, what I read was that until about age 12, there isn't an
understanding of how to handle an emergency (i.e. not to leave something
burning, when to leave a house, when to lock the door, etc.). With that
said, it seemed that some children are more capable/responsible earlier
and some are not until they are later (and even at 16, some are still
too immature to make good, calculated decisions of how to protect
themselves (and a younger sibling or caretaker). We leave our kids on
weekend nights when we are close by with our 14 year old neighbor. I
have found her more responsible than many of the 20 something kids we
use because she is a very conscientious teen. I have heard as young as
9/10 for short leaves and 11/12 for a regular leaves. . .

I agree with Kindra. 

When my 16 year old was 8 and 9, he showed true leadership skills and maturity that by the time he was 10 he was able to manage for an hour or 2 by himself, while I took his younger sister and brother to their activities, if the nanny was out on the weekend. Now my other son is 9 1/2 and is showing those same consistent leadership qualities, but he showed them much earlier at even 5 and 6. Even though he was not left alone, he has shown that he is very responsible. Unfortunately for my 7 year old, it may be 21 before we leave her alone...lol..We have recognized that she is an explorer and will try anything once. So she needs just a little bit more oversight than the others...Maybe being the baby of the family for so long has something to do with it as well...


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When my 19 y/o son was about 10, I would leave him for an hour or so to get him used to being by himself. We also had our next door neighbor's in cahoots with us. They weren't at the house watching him, but they would be aware that he was home alone and that if an issue came up where he needed an adult that he could go to them. My daughter will be 9 soon, and I certainly don't feel that she's anywhere ready for the same so it definitely depends on the child and their maturity level. I have been more conscious about letting her do things herself in the kitchen, work the microwave, cutting fruit/food (practicing knife skills), making herself lunch/breakfast, etc. My husband sometimes frowns upon this, but they are lifeskills she needs.
I, too have a 3rd. He's 6 1/2 and he's actually shown more independence when comes to taking care of himself. In any case, I won't go any earlier than 10 y/o for leaving a child alone.

I was glad to see this question posed on the forum since I have often wondered what is the appropriate age. I have an 11 1/2 year old and 3 1/2 year old, both girls. My oldest is very responsible and mature for her age. I have left her home alone for a few hours, but only for 15-20 minutes with them both alone. I would be interested in hearing you guys feedback on leaving both girls home alone together. My oldest is really good with her younger sister, but my youngest is very active.

I agree with this and have found this information when I've searched around as well. We have an 8 year old and my husband has suggested that we leave him by himself while running errands however I don't feel comfortable. Even our 8 year old seems uncomfortable with that idea. The good thing is when the staying home alone suggestion is made, he becomes more compliant and will get ready to go.

Does anyone have any feedback on Kimberly W's question of what you feel is an appropriate age for your oldest to start "babysitting" the younger siblings? What have some of you mom's done in the past? Thanks for your input.

State law is a must look into. I believe you also have to consider the maturity level of the kids. Just because the child is 15 that does not make them mature enough to babysit. I started babysitting when I am 10 but for over an hour but I was mature and I was watching over an 8 year old. I would consider how young and mature is the child that is being watched. Do they have temper, or behavior isseus.

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"Angela H." <workingmoms@groups.care.com> wrote:

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Definitely check state law, particularly if you are considering leaving an older sibling in charge of younger ones. In Maine I believe the legal age is 13. As for being left alone, definitely maturity level is the most important consideration. My oldest was very mature and comfortable at 10, so was getting off the bus daily at 3 and was generally alone until 5:30 or 6. We had an agreement that he would call me as soon as he got home and complete his homework before watching TV or playing video games. He was aware that if he didn't call me, didn't finish his homework (unless of course he needed help with any of it), or left the house to play with other neighborhood kids without notifying me, that we would be sending him back to after school care. He also was not allowed to bring friends into the house when I wasn't home. He was very compliant and always followed the rules. He's 15 now and feels very comfortable being alone in the house for long periods of time, even safely cooks for himself. I have 2 younger children ages 9 and 6. He watches them for up to 4 hours at a time, but as they both have behavioral issues, I tend to get an adult to come in and "help" if it's any longer than that. And yes, I pay him to babysit. My 9 year-old, although incredibly intelligent won't be ready to be alone by 10. He is highly anxious and I don't think he'd feel comfortable being home alone for more than about 30 minutes. This does present a problem because the after school care offered at their school only allows children through the 5th grade. All the family day cares that had been on the bus routes have closed, so if he's not ready by age 11, I'll have to find someone to watch him in the afternoons at home. My 6 year-old is incredibly active and the 9 year old and she get into some pretty intense physical fights, so I doubt even by the time he's 13 that I'll feel comfortable leaving them alone together. Time will tell, of course! Unfortunately for me, my oldest will be going away to a magnet school for his last 2 years of high school so this is the last year I'll have him at home regularly. Good for him as he'll be getting an incredible education, but I'll miss him!