Are any of you lonely? What do you do to make new friends with other moms in your town or neighborhood? I feel like I've been trying to connect with my established mom-friends and also make new mom-friends since my son was an infant. It seems that many times, I am unsuccessful. Do you have any thoughts, or suggestions about this? I am interested in anything you may want to tell me...

Man I totally feel you. As a young mom and an odd mom. it has been a situation I have felt more than once. I feel I am sociaL. But the time came to make a new moms friends and I found myself at a loss. I honestly think a lot of people out there are lonely and looking for true friendships. but something startles them back to home while they hide under the covers. Its a scary world out there and many people are terrified to get to know people because of past hurts in other reletionships. To tell you honestly we all struggle with it in some form or another and until we find that special person who wins our trust we put awhole new meaning to s.a.h.m I encourage you to get out and get around moms in your area. Work on building reletionships with other moms in trustworthy places like moms group play dates. Soon youll connect more. Dont give up. It may take a while.but if you open up. I wouldnt doubt in no time you'll meet another family with simular likes and dislikes. Hope that helps. Good lucky on your mom venture.

I've been having a similar problem, I've made several playdates for my baby and everysingle time they cancel at the last minute. I'm starting to think I'm cursed lol. So I gave up on those play group sites and started hitting the same parks regularly hoping to find other moms like me.

I think I got on the same boat as you and decided to get off for a while. I find it is easy to find other moms/babes out there and the challenge is making the connection. So many of the playgroups I have attended seem to already have an established bond that isn't so easy to break through. I just keep trying and hopefully I will get to one that sticks. I have a just turned two little boy and I want him to be able to socialize with other babes his age while mama is out there doing the same! :)

One thing that really helps is to "get involved" in things. Commit to going to some of your favorite places at the same time and day regularly. I made a commitment to myself to attend a Le Leche League meeting every month for as long as I was breastfeeding. After about 5 months I found I could really connect with the ladies there. I now have several good friends and I still attend the meetings to help other ladies even though my daughter is no longer breast feeding. Similarly, you can attend a library or bookstore story time on the same day every week, community centers have regular activities for toddlers, a park near your home, an indoor play area at the mall. As long as you commit to showing up regularly, you will meet people.

Rebecca,
One thing that really helps is to "get involved" in things. Commit to going to some of your favorite places at the same time and day regularly. I made a commitment to myself to attend a Le Leche League meeting every month for as long as I was breastfeeding. After about 5 months I found I could really connect with the ladies there. I now have several good friends and I still attend the meetings to help other ladies even though my daughter is no longer breast feeding. Similarly, you can attend a library or bookstore story time on the same day every week, a local park, indoor mall play area, and community centers have regularly scheduled activities as well. The key for us has been just to show up, as often and as consistently as possible. It doesn't take long after that. Hang in there!

Oops, sorry about the double post, I thought I'd lost what I typed.

Wow, I was just responding to everyone, and I left this page briefly, and the site asked me to log in again, and lost everything I typed!

Anyway,
Thank you Kara, Jenna, Kelli and Lauren for your thoughts and encouragement! I so wish that you all lived here in Colorado Springs! I especially appreciate you telling me to not give up!

Do any of you have any advice for me about how to warm up to moms with whom I am aquainted, or with ones that I may meet at a park , the library, or the community center (I have not yet been there-thanks for the idea, Lauren), or how to help them warm up to me?
Thank you for your time, if you are able to respond...

I am not able to re-type everthing I did a few minutes ago, but I will try to respond more later.....

Often mom's warm up to you when they see you interacting with their kids in a good way. Ex: sharing your child's snack with their kids (after making sure it's okay with the mom that your kids share), if you see their child fall down or get hurt then help pick the child back up, if the child is looking to interact with someone then be that person. When moms see you engaged with their children they will feel good about being around. It's hard being a mom 24-7, so when you have someone there to help with the burden it's a wonderful feeling.

Also if you meet someone and learn that they're a stay at home mom, find out what they do to keep busy. It might lend you an invite...or you can suggest they meet you somewhere for ice cream at a favorite place later in the week. This works best if you've bumped into the same person several times already.
Let me know how it goes!

Thanks Lauren,

I will:-) I am glad I joined this group. I needed some conversation with you ladies. Even though I can't see or hear you, I already feel a little less lonely.

I will be happy to receive thoughts from any other awesome full-time moms and homemakers about any of this....

Hey Jenna,
Have you met any moms like you yet at the parks? It's been chilly here in Colorado this week, and we have not been to park recently. I have not been on a playgroup site yet, but maybe I'll just skip that, as it seems that it was not worth your time....
Keep in touch, when you can :-)

Hey Kelli,
I felt the same way- I attended a moms group for about a year, and tried ( I felt, desperately) to reach out to other moms in the group, unsuccessfully. I still have their contact information, though. So, I'm contemplating mustering up the courage to try again....

Hi Kara,
I do appreciate your advice. I can tell, by your thoughts and your picture, that you do understand. It feels good to be understood.... :-) Thank you.

I think the hardest thing for me is the lonliness and rejection I feel when my current mom friends are so rarely available to get together...
Should I let them go (not completely, just -in a sense-)? Or-
Are there things I might do to respectfully encourage them to spend more time with us?
What do you think?

I would like to removed from this group

Khira


On Nov 5, 2011, at 3:59 PM, "Rebecca P." <stayathomemoms@groups.care.com>
wrote:

I'm so jealous, I've been begging my husband to move us up to colorado springs ever since I visited there a couple yrs back. We're in houston so pretty much every month cept for jan and some of feb is park weather here. Havn't had much luck at the nearby park although I did meet a stay at home father, but his daughter was a little older. Its extremely difficult to branch out since I only have a car a couple days of the wk. You might have better luck up there with the online play groups like on meetup.com, I was just getting sick of paying to get in and then the group being canceled right after..

here are some suggestions. go to meetup.com and search attachment parenting or moms clubs. it will tell you the stuff in your area. the other thing is the library. i take my son to those weekly book readings, he is one, and i meet a lot of moms there and ask about mommy clubs.....the mommy club i am involved with i met the one girl from human milk 4 human babies on facebook.i donated milk to her and she told me about her club. i loooooove it. i went to some from meetup.com too. its awesome! you can even search mommy sites on fb. i would get on "the leaky boob" on facebook and "the natural parents network" and ask if anyone knows about any in the area. once you find a few you will be in heaven. the other thing to do is try "stroller strides" in your area. its a workout program that you do with your baby and you meet a ton of people

I remember when I first became a mom and didn't know any other
young moms like me. It did feel lonely especially when we moved to another
town. I basically looked for mom groups in my area by going online. I also
took my daughter to Gymboree and music together and met other moms.
I posted a playdate get together on my neighborhood group site. I was
surprised how many moms came out that day. Give it a try and see
what happens. Good luck and believe me it gets better. ;)

Thanks Anjanette, Rosie and Crystal!

Ya'll are so kind to share your thoughts with me:-)

Honestly, this group is my current guilty pleasure...(my son is taking a nap) I really should be cleaning up the high chair and floor right now.... :-)

Hi Rosie,
I am connected in a local church. However, it is very young and small, so I have visited larger chrches in my area-just haven't found the right one yet. But I will keep looking...( so far, I've visited 3).
You sound like a lot of fun! I am excited for you, as you are enjoying your newly expanded family... :-)

Ok just lost much of what I typed. I can relate to all of this. I really have pushed my self to meet people. Its hard, some of the mom groups in the nearby town, actually have to vote you in there group, Im sorry I dont have time to be judged. I have found that I meet people at different place like the book store, park, church ect. If they want talk to you they will and if not then I dont bother trying to waste my time. I have been home for a few years now and am just finally meeting some quality people who are great to be around (they already have an established group, they all know each other and each others husbands and work together, but they have excepted me just as one of them and I have to think positive of it and enjoy developing these relationships.

Thought I would post some of this incase I lost it again. I have had a similar problem with meeting some people at church, even there, people can be clicky, but I have been patient and have tried to become more involved with things and it is helping. It can be scary at times, you dont want to let your guard down too much or tell to much info to a stranger, but I know to trust my instincts and they are always right. I have even met people at the mall, grocery store, target. It gets easy for example someone is in the diaper isle and I see they are buying huggies, well I have a coupon for that which I am not using so I just offer it to them. Or they seem frazled over an item and sometimes I offer my opinion about what I think about the product. You would be surprised how sometimes a conversation can come out of it. Sometimes when I meet someone its overwhelming and I talk too much, cause I havent had a conversation with another adult in how long, but if they are in the same situation as me they totally understand. I agree this is very challenging and I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way or struggles with it. Thanks for all the suggestions and positive feedback everyone is giving on here.

We actually joined a church in the closest big town instead of the convenience of a church a mile down the road, so we drive a half hour because it has a school and I know that the friendships I develop now will grow especially when the kids start school there.

So true, so very true.

It's tough to find anyone around during the day. Have literally driven around our whole town during the day to look for kids outside. DD and I can go to a playground and we are the only ones there. Everyone must work and have their kids in daycare. Even in our neighborhood, we have to wait for evenings and weekends to talk with someone.
Have tried to find mom groups only to learn they've been dissolved.
Feel bad for our daughter when we go somewhere and she asks " where are all the kids."
No kids= no moms to talk with, either!

Dear Moms: I feel the same way

I just moved to the area, and then my husband deploys...so I feel you on lonely. No family or friends, and I'm missing that close bond with at least ONE good friend. I want so badly to attend church, but that's when my daughter is full on cranky and ready for a nap. I've found mommy groups online, and I try to meet up and do things with the girls in the groups...but it's just so hard to make a real connection with anybody. I hang onto my friends that I've had for years, and also hang onto hope that eventually I will make a close friend.

HI Rebecca and fellow moms

I also feel the same way you guys feel. I moved to houston, tx almost 3 years ago and have yet to make any real friens. I have met a lot of "potential friends" due to the fact that our kids go to the same school or are involved in the same extra cirricular activity, but i have not made a real connection. It gets really frustrating sometimes that I dont have any female friends to hang out with our just talk to when I need to.

Hello I a man who move to Bellflower California for going on two years now. I had a relationship that ended around November 2012.

I am a Grandparent that's a Parent (with 3 grandkids) hard working with a great business and single now. I am looking to meet mom or grandmons with kids make friends in the area of Bellflower where I live to Manhattan Beach where I work.

I look to met Grandparent that's a Parent but i have not made a real connection with anyone in this area as yet. It gets really frustrating sometimes that I dont have any Grandparent that's a Parent friends to hang out with our just talk to when I need to.

I need a real friend (s).

I do MOMS Club and then just found another mom group on meetup. Works for me!

What about joining meetup.com? Type in mom clubs in their search bar and a lot if groups pop up. That's what I did. We moved from Pgh to Indy. People here are impossible to meet.
If youre in Indy I'd totally hang out!
I have two small ones :)

And what about MOPS. google it. They charge though but not a ton.